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Trump Introduces New Birth-Wrong Citizenship Rule To Deport All Losers And Haters
Babylon Bee ^ | April 3, 2026 | Staff

Posted on 04/05/2026 10:03:28 AM PDT by Twotone

WASHINGTON, D.C. — President Donald Trump has for a long time criticized the concept of birthright citizenship — the idea that U.S. citizenship extends to anyone who was born within the U.S.'s borders. Rather than wait for a Supreme Court decision about it, Trump announced his own legislation titled "Birth-Wrong Citizenship."

"We're going to deport all the losers and the haters," Trump told the press. "Some of them may have been born here — and maybe even their parents are citizens — but that's obviously a mistake because we are not a country for losers and haters."

The bill would nullify the citizenship of anyone who is deemed to be "just really, really horrible" to keep America as a "place for winners only." After the nullification of citizenship, those people will then be deported. Since most would not have a country of origin, Trump says they will be deported to somewhere "frozen and barren" such as "Antarctica, Siberia, or Canada."

"It's time to set things right and clean up this nation of people who shouldn't be here because they're bad and they don't love America and they're whiny," Trump stated.

Legal experts challenged the constitutionality of this law, but Trump says there is precedent for dealing harshly with losers and haters with "the Civil War and stuff." Democrats have especially criticized the bill, saying it will mean the deportation of most of their voters, to which Trump responded with, "Yes."

At publishing time, Trump warned congressional lawmakers that if they refused to pass the Birth-Wrong Citizenship bill, they would be added to the list of losers and haters to be deported.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; humor
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1 posted on 04/05/2026 10:03:28 AM PDT by Twotone
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To: Twotone

“Trump says they will be deported to somewhere “frozen and barren” such as “Antarctica, Siberia, or Canada.”

4-D Chess at work once again. Notice he didn’t say “Greenland”. Don’t want to end up having to do the job twice.


2 posted on 04/05/2026 10:20:47 AM PDT by Flash Bazbeaux
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To: Twotone

I, personally like everybody to be deported to The Kerguelen Islands, also known as the Desolation Islands in South Indian ocean.
Pretty large to accommodate plenty of people, far away from everywhere, and people can survive there without outside help. Few ship wrecked people survived there for few years on fish and local cabbage!

Seems pretty humane to me to send there all the undesirables who have no other place to go.


3 posted on 04/05/2026 10:22:10 AM PDT by AZJeep (sane )
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To: Twotone

WORKS FOR ME-—EVEN IF IT IS THE BEE


4 posted on 04/05/2026 10:24:34 AM PDT by ridesthemiles (not giving up on TRUMP---EVER)
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To: ridesthemiles

This should’ve been Trump’s April Fools EO.


5 posted on 04/05/2026 10:27:11 AM PDT by Twotone (Sometimes I wrestle with my demons. Sometimes we just snuggle.)
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To: Twotone

I nominate Ilhan Omar for Birth Wrong status . A raft in the Pacific is good enough for her!


6 posted on 04/05/2026 10:28:53 AM PDT by Nateman (Democrats did not strive for fraud friendly voting merely to continue honest elections.)
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To: Flash Bazbeaux

I’d prefer “a country that matches their social media posts about socialism”


7 posted on 04/05/2026 10:36:17 AM PDT by cableguymn (Can't cancel all of us)
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To: AZJeep

fish and local cabbage!

Hillary would feel right at home...


8 posted on 04/05/2026 10:40:18 AM PDT by tet68 ("We would not die in that man's company that fears his fellowship to die with us." Henry V.)
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To: Nateman

Only if it has 2 holes in it. Far enough apart that she can’t plug them at the same time time.


9 posted on 04/05/2026 10:53:12 AM PDT by cableguymn (Can't cancel all of us)
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To: Twotone

“Birth-Wrong Citizenship”

Lol Don’t get This Guy started.

How wrong things can go!

For all those U.S. NBC wannabees.


10 posted on 04/05/2026 11:03:27 AM PDT by one guy in new jersey
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To: tet68

🤦‍♂️🤣🤣🤣🤣


11 posted on 04/05/2026 11:05:02 AM PDT by one guy in new jersey
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To: Twotone

OK, I can usually catch these before I go off the deep end but this got me for half a second.


12 posted on 04/05/2026 11:07:01 AM PDT by higgmeister (In the Shadow of The Big Chicken! )
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To: Twotone

Loud mouthed anchor babies waving Mexican flags upsets me.


13 posted on 04/05/2026 11:11:05 AM PDT by dljordan (Yeah, I'm a Boomer and it's all my fault you whiny little bitch.)
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To: Twotone

He just wants to change their citizenship assigned at birth.


14 posted on 04/05/2026 3:06:32 PM PDT by unlearner (See my about page for "God's Promises During Tribulation".)
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To: unlearner

ICWYDT!


15 posted on 04/05/2026 6:57:06 PM PDT by Albion Wilde (The first duty of the American government is to protect American citizens, not illegal aliens. --DJT)
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