Coincidentally, I may be going through this. My wife of twenty years became morbidly obese after our wedding. Other than for her health, it never bothered me and I certainly never said a word about it. She is ten years younger and I figured she would deal with it when she was ready. Well, she finally did and is now back to her wedding size and she makes clear that other men are noticing her now. She’s taken on an arrogant attitude and is different. I don’t know if it’s menopause, Ozempic, a midlife crisis or a combo, but now we barely speak. I guess it will either be a phase or she’ll get a boyfriend. I’m too tired to play games.
She is unaccustomed to attention from men. It’s inflating her ego and sense of self-worth. She thinks she can do better than you. That is why has become suddenly unpleasant to you, because she wants to monkey-branch.
On the upside, monkey-branching very rarely works. If she does, she will come crawling back and you can do with that what you will.
Secure all the legal and financial documents now. It will save you money in the long run when your lawyer doesn’t have to pay HERS for them.
I have a friend who's wife losttl 100# or more and dumped him.
rest in God, your wife is lost and you have no blame.
Not saying that your wife isn't at fault, here, but: I suggest that you take a closer look at yourself. You don't provide enough exact info to make a definite diagnosis (for example: are you empty-nesters?), but there are clues in your posting.
It sounds as though you are approaching 70 years of age, while your wife has about reached the mid-century mark. How is your health and general physical condition? Are you in retirement / living off of a pension? Is your wife now out-earning you? If you are willing to make an effort on yourself, you might yet be able to stem the tide / alter trajectory.
Regards,
I wish you well.
(She’s taken on an arrogant attitude and is different.)
I have also witnessed this happen 😧😲😲
I just lost 80 pounds. I am 65. I have been fat since adolescence.
At my age, i am not getting the ‘glances’ from the young ladies anymore. But what I AM finding is that I am not “invisible” any more. THAT is a huge change and it’s been great for the ego. I can walk into any store and buy clothes off the rack that are nicer, modern, and stylish. That is a big change from loose fit jeans and sweatshirts.
Now that I’ve lost the weight, there is a part of me that is angry that I did not do this 40 years ago. It’s easy to look back and ‘fantasize’ about how things would have been different, “If only…”
She is also undergoing huge changes in the way her body ‘feels.’ It’s likely working correctly now. It feels different. Hormones are different. There is a lot going on.
Finally, the GLPs affect hormones. Her body is doing stuff that she hasn’t ever experienced and people react differently to that stuff.
Being obese for a long time brings with it a lot of ‘mental health’ issues. Having that go away, quickly, unleashes a lot of those issues. My advice is that both of you should seek some counseling to learn how to handle this stuff.
Everyone’s mileage may differ.
“…and she makes clear that other men are noticing her now.“
Women read wayyyyy more into that “noticing” than is particularly intelligent.
People who lose a lot of weight become a bit hypersexual. Step your game up.
and also quietly secure any and everything that is yours that means something and/or is valuable to you, things like photos, coin collections, family heirlooms, backup critical data and passwords from you computer(s), etc. ... prepare for the worst, hope for the best ... [speaking from experience: first divorce i got totally cleaned out, 2nd one i protected myself ...btw, after the first one, i’ve always insisted on separate bank and financial accounts, and strong pre-nup agreements]
My experience was somewhat similar. Wife was insecure about her looks (she was actually quite attractive), and the fact that she’d never finished college. She was perennially dissatisfied with her job, and I encouraged her to finish her degree and then go find herself some new employment. I even suggested that she do it during regular hours, and that I could sustain us on my income alone if I pinched a few pennies. She went to night school, and started getting attention from the men in her classes. Her attitude towards me quickly shifted to one of indifference and disrespect, neither of which I’d seen in her prior. We’d been married eight years, and had known each other for a decade prior. I finally forced the issue, and she revealed that she ‘had feelings’ for one of her professors, and wasn’t sure she wanted to be monogamous any longer. We flopped along for six months, with the usual counseling, etc., but it was over for me. She never could make up her mind, so I filed for divorce. She was shocked. If your wife won’t respect her vows, and treats you with disregard, it’s time for a frank discussion with her. The realities of divorce are ugly, and she needs to be made aware. I wish you the very best of luck in this, but also believe that being abandoned by one’s spouse is an acceptable basis for ending a marriage.
We all hear ya.
I’m sorry about that. I will pray for you