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Florida whacko claims he was ‘teleported’ into stolen BMW by ‘X-Men’: ‘You saved me from the aliens’
NY Post ^ | 12/10/2025 | Anna Young

Posted on 12/13/2025 7:39:16 AM PST by DFG

Close encounters of the delusional kind.

A Florida whacko accused of stealing a BMW told cops he was “teleported” into the luxury car on orders from the “X-Men” — and later thanked the officers for saving him from “aliens” he claimed were after him, according to nutty police bodycam footage.

Calvin Johnson, 36, was arrested Monday afternoon after swiping the unlocked flashy car from Bicentennial Park in Ormond Beach and wrecking it minutes later while barreling down a nearby highway at 130 mph, according to the Volusia County Sheriff’s Office.

The car’s owner told police he was walking his dog around the park and returned to find it missing, noting he had left his keys in the cupholder.

Shocking footage captured cops arriving at the wreck, where the troubled, bloodied suspect repeatedly insisted he didn’t steal the car but had been “teleported” into it and was following the “X-Men’s” orders.

“I don’t know how I get in the car,” a frantic Johnson garbled to the deputy, according to the video.

“I don’t know, I teleported.”

The cop continued to place cuffs on the suspect, who mumbled incoherently while being questioned.

(Excerpt) Read more at nypost.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: florida
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1 posted on 12/13/2025 7:39:16 AM PST by DFG
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To: DFG

Well, I’ll give him points for originality......of course there’s also a deduction for being a whack job. 😏


2 posted on 12/13/2025 7:41:31 AM PST by V_TWIN (America........so great even the people that hate it won't leave)
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To: DFG

The old mutant defense.


3 posted on 12/13/2025 7:44:43 AM PST by DannyTN
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To: DFG

4 posted on 12/13/2025 7:44:55 AM PST by equaviator (Nobody's perfect. That's why they put pencils on erasers!)
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To: DFG

In a wreck after having reached speeds of 130 mph, and he is still in one piece. Impressive, BMW, especially in a convertible which are inherently structurally weaker.


5 posted on 12/13/2025 7:45:10 AM PST by Dr. Sivana ("Whatsoever he shall say to you, do ye." (John 2:5))
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To: DFG

6 posted on 12/13/2025 7:46:40 AM PST by DannyTN
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To: DFG

Won’t be long before an Obama or Biden judge believes every word of his story and releases him.


7 posted on 12/13/2025 7:46:59 AM PST by Bon of Babble (You Say You Want a Revolution?ZS)
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To: DFG
I dunno. I'm inclined to give people the benefit of the doubt. After all, I wasn't there, so who am
I to judge? In the immortal words of the late great Rodney King, "Can't we all just get along?"

8 posted on 12/13/2025 7:47:02 AM PST by Governor Dinwiddie ( O give thanks unto the Lord, for He is gracious, and his mercy endures forever. — Psalm 106)
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To: DFG

Wow! That almost as good as the Menedez brothers asking for the mercy of the court because they are now orphans.


9 posted on 12/13/2025 7:49:06 AM PST by econjack
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To: DFG

The Aliens have class. They could have teleported him into a beat up Yugo.


10 posted on 12/13/2025 7:52:58 AM PST by citizen (A transgender malel competing against women may be male, but he's no man.)
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To: DFG

He’s still gonna get “probed” when they book him.


11 posted on 12/13/2025 7:55:12 AM PST by gundog (The ends justify the mean tweets. )
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To: DFG

Interesting defense.


12 posted on 12/13/2025 7:59:52 AM PST by libertylover (The HBM (Has Been Media) is almost all AGENDA-DRIVEN and HATE-DRIVEN, not-truth driven.)
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To: econjack

The competition isn’t over yet — he might demand leniency because after he totalled the car, it was worth less than the Grand Theft threshold.


13 posted on 12/13/2025 7:59:58 AM PST by Chewbarkah
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To: DFG

I understand. The other day while I was hunting Bigfoot I was abducted by an alien and taken to Ork where I was interrogated by Democrats!


14 posted on 12/13/2025 8:06:30 AM PST by 2nd Amendment
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To: DFG

I have to say-I only recently started watching the Sy-Fi series “Alien Resident”, and just reading this made me think of a snippet of dialogue about being abducted and being anally probed, and the guy who plays the alien (in human form) screws up his face in disgust and says something like “Eeew. We would never do anything like that. Only The Grays do that!”


15 posted on 12/13/2025 8:06:39 AM PST by rlmorel (Factio Communistica Sinensis Delenda Est.)
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To: DannyTN

This situation will only get worse as the losers from NYC move south.


16 posted on 12/13/2025 8:27:59 AM PST by bobbo666
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To: DFG

Hmm... Is he a Freeper?


17 posted on 12/13/2025 8:41:39 AM PST by jerod (Nazis were essentially Socialist in Hugo Boss uniforms... Get over it!)
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To: DFG

What if? ....... Just if ......... He is telling the truth.


18 posted on 12/13/2025 9:05:15 AM PST by PhillyPhreeper
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To: DFG; SunkenCiv; Red Badger; Larry Lucido
Did this Florida Man recently make a donation to Goodwill?
19 posted on 12/13/2025 9:39:32 AM PST by Ezekiel (🆘️ "Come fly with US". 🔴 Ingenuity -- because the Son of David begins with MARS ♂️, aka every man)
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To: PhillyPhreeper
What if? ....... Just if ......... He is telling the truth.

You ask the right question. After all...

The car’s owner told police he was walking his dog around the park and returned to find *it* missing

🤔

20 posted on 12/13/2025 9:45:03 AM PST by Ezekiel (🆘️ "Come fly with US". 🔴 Ingenuity -- because the Son of David begins with MARS ♂️, aka every man)
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