Posted on 12/05/2025 5:33:00 AM PST by where's_the_Outrage?
Many companies claim to be modern and fair, yet some old habits still survive surprisingly well. One employee found out just how quickly things can escalate when she questioned a task she’d been quietly assigned for months.
Hello, Bright Side,
I’m 27F, a project engineer. My boss kept asking me to take notes at meetings with clients. I didn’t mind at first, until I noticed I was the only one he asked. When I finally refused, he smirked and said, “Women are best at it.” I reported him to HR.
The next day, I was heading to my desk when a coworker grabbed my arm and whispered, “He’s pissed. He’s been blaming you all morning.” I honestly felt sick walking to my workstation because I had no idea what he’d try next.
When I came up to my desk, I saw a small box sitting on it. Inside was a note. It said: “We both know you’ve overreacted. Let’s fix this between us.” There was also a Starbucks gift card for $10.
I immediately gave the box to HR. They asked if he’d contacted me outside of work (he hadn’t). They said the gift card was an attempt to influence an active investigation, which is against policy. He was suspended and then let go. I’m very glad HR took it seriously before things escalated.
But... am I wrong for not giving him a chance to talk privately before going to HR?
Mary
Hello, Mary,
Well, this line—"Women take better notes“—could be displayed right next to “You’re too emotional for leadership” and “We’re like a family here” in the Museum of Workplace Misconceptions.
1. The note-taking comment wasn’t harmless—it was a clear bias cue. Your boss didn’t say, “You take good notes.” He said, “Women are best at it.” That’s not a compliment. It’s a category error.
That smirk you mentioned? That’s the behavioral equivalent of someone saying, “I know exactly what I’m doing, and try me.”
2. The gift card wasn’t a peace offering—it was a policy violation. A $10 Starbucks card is many things:
A gesture of apology? A weak attempt at bribery? A liquid asset valued at precisely one latte and a cake pop? But what it is not is an appropriate response during an HR investigation.
In corporate compliance, even small gifts can be considered attempts to influence outcomes. There are entire HR training modules dedicated to this.
3. Giving him a “private conversation” first was never your job. Let’s imagine what a private talk would have looked like:
You: “Your comment was inappropriate.” Him: “Relax.” You: “I won’t take notes on command anymore.” Him: “You women are so sensitive.”
You heard your colleague, your boss spent the morning blaming you. He didn’t consider that he was wrong. Not a single second.
Going directly to HR was the only appropriate step.
So, are you wrong? No. Not even slightly. You handled this like someone who understands not only her rights, but also the psychological pattern of someone trying to test boundaries and save himself when caught.
Bright Side
And Mary isn’t the only one who’s faced this kind of pushback. When Gloria, a senior analyst, was told a leadership role was “too demanding for women,” she filed a report—and a few months later, she was the one sitting in her boss’s chair.
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In the yesteryear, this woman would have been canned for whining. Today the whiners and attention whores run the show.
Several years back I had a job where I was often assigned different co-workers so I could train them. I was assigned a young lady one day. It was customary for the co-worker to fill the truck with parts and tools while I got the work orders. I told her to put the parts in the truck and she immediately when crying with real tears to the superintendent. She did not think loading the truck with the day’s needs was her job.
I couldn’t believe it. And she got by with it.
This entire article explains why women should not be hired in an office environment for any position. Not one bit of encouragement for a diverse workforce. If anything, just the opposite. If one is that sensitive and fragile, they have no business in business. As used to be said: suck it up, buttercup.
This story is at least 85% bogus.
Not all meetings. Many are not recorded or even deliberately not recorded, and many businesses don’t have sophisticated AI software. I could be wrong, I’ve been retired for 10 years, so it’s been a while since I’ve attended meetings, but I don’t think that much has changed.
“Twenty million young women rose to their feet with the cry, ‘We will not be dictated to’, and promptly became stenographers.” ― G.K. Chesterton
A lot of folks here do not like work at home—but that got rid of (and continues to eliminate) 99.9% of the sexual harassment complaints for those working at home.
The time saved on avoiding that nonsense was probably worth many billions of dollars to the economy.
Whatever happened to be grateful to have a job?
Complaining to HR that the boss asked a woman to do an important job just makes the complainant sound petty.
“ I am always pleased when I see that my grocery or fast food order is being delivered by a woman. In our experience, women actually read and follow delivery instructions, figure out how to get into the building and find the elevator, etc. We’ve had a problem only once with a female; many times with the males.
Sometimes one or the other sex really is generally better at something.”
I mused just yesterday at the dentist. All the assistants and hygienists are women. Dentist is a man. The hygienists and tge assistants have a talent at those positions that are more prevalent in woman. That’s all. Who cares? There all been there for years, they hate along, pkay awful music on the overhead, talk about kids while they’re torturing you
No one cares.
I am a woman lawyer and just yesterday another lawyer in my office asked me to sit in on a meeting with an opposing counsel and take notes, not because he was trying to be demeaning or sexist but because he knew that I would take good ones and have insight afterwards about the meeting. I cannot abide this hyper feminist bs. There’s a job to be done. Do it. And do it without getting caught up in your feelings about “gender roles” and stereotypes. No one should consider themselves to be above a task because of their status or their gender. And yes, I even make coffee if it needs to be made.
This isn’t sexual harassment. The AI guy is secist. The fake AI woman doesn’t cope. HR is used as a fake interceded.
it is well known that women have significantly better handwriting than most men.
I fail to see how this comment was bad, it seems more like a compliment.
Agree you don’t tell the boss what your job is if you don’t like it move on.
An employee’s job is to do whatever the boss says that is legal and safe.
She missed the opportunity to be indispensable.
Instead she acted like a whinny brat. She will be shunned by others and eventually quit or be driven out, as she should be.
Small companies not subject to this kind of BS attract the 20% who do 80% of the work and can’t be promoted because they are white men.
That’s fine; they’ll make more money and have more freedom.
Yeah, I can’t imagine a woman ever being asked to take care of that cockroach problem in the basement.
If any person is too far above doing a task I might assign them, I don’t want them on the team.
If I say “scrub this toilet”, you have two choices: Scrub or leave.
‘I Refuse to Do a Secretary’s Job for Free Just Because I’m a Woman’.....’I’m 27F, a project engineer.’
I’d have suggested a different salary for taking notes.
And what corp. VP doesn’t have an assistant to do that ??
Hello, Mary:
You are a hypersensitive wench. Take the damn notes and shut up. Only a witch would go to HR over such a stupid issue. And btw, men get saddled with stuff that is viewed as male-appropriate.
HR is populated almost entirely of women ... feminist women.
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