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Posted on 12/05/2025 5:33:00 AM PST by where's_the_Outrage?
Many companies claim to be modern and fair, yet some old habits still survive surprisingly well. One employee found out just how quickly things can escalate when she questioned a task she’d been quietly assigned for months.
Hello, Bright Side,
I’m 27F, a project engineer. My boss kept asking me to take notes at meetings with clients. I didn’t mind at first, until I noticed I was the only one he asked. When I finally refused, he smirked and said, “Women are best at it.” I reported him to HR.
The next day, I was heading to my desk when a coworker grabbed my arm and whispered, “He’s pissed. He’s been blaming you all morning.” I honestly felt sick walking to my workstation because I had no idea what he’d try next.
When I came up to my desk, I saw a small box sitting on it. Inside was a note. It said: “We both know you’ve overreacted. Let’s fix this between us.” There was also a Starbucks gift card for $10.
I immediately gave the box to HR. They asked if he’d contacted me outside of work (he hadn’t). They said the gift card was an attempt to influence an active investigation, which is against policy. He was suspended and then let go. I’m very glad HR took it seriously before things escalated.
But... am I wrong for not giving him a chance to talk privately before going to HR?
Mary
Hello, Mary,
Well, this line—"Women take better notes“—could be displayed right next to “You’re too emotional for leadership” and “We’re like a family here” in the Museum of Workplace Misconceptions.
1. The note-taking comment wasn’t harmless—it was a clear bias cue. Your boss didn’t say, “You take good notes.” He said, “Women are best at it.” That’s not a compliment. It’s a category error.
That smirk you mentioned? That’s the behavioral equivalent of someone saying, “I know exactly what I’m doing, and try me.”
2. The gift card wasn’t a peace offering—it was a policy violation. A $10 Starbucks card is many things:
A gesture of apology? A weak attempt at bribery? A liquid asset valued at precisely one latte and a cake pop? But what it is not is an appropriate response during an HR investigation.
In corporate compliance, even small gifts can be considered attempts to influence outcomes. There are entire HR training modules dedicated to this.
3. Giving him a “private conversation” first was never your job. Let’s imagine what a private talk would have looked like:
You: “Your comment was inappropriate.” Him: “Relax.” You: “I won’t take notes on command anymore.” Him: “You women are so sensitive.”
You heard your colleague, your boss spent the morning blaming you. He didn’t consider that he was wrong. Not a single second.
Going directly to HR was the only appropriate step.
So, are you wrong? No. Not even slightly. You handled this like someone who understands not only her rights, but also the psychological pattern of someone trying to test boundaries and save himself when caught.
Bright Side
And Mary isn’t the only one who’s faced this kind of pushback. When Gloria, a senior analyst, was told a leadership role was “too demanding for women,” she filed a report—and a few months later, she was the one sitting in her boss’s chair.
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AI replacing HR is the greatest example of its benefit to mankind.
Typical liberal women’s over reaction. Besides, it was not for free she was getting paid. She should have given the gift and note back to him, tell him that she was hired to be a lead engineer and not a secretary, and record it. If he blew a gasket, she would have it recorded and then go to HR. This is an unusual case. In my experience HR departments usually side with the boss, or attempt to placate the employee and do nothing at all. And since she said he ASKED her to take notes and did not demand it he should not have been fired. Imho.
That boss is an idiot. I am not sure how he’s survived in his job long enough to have subordinates. The crap he allegedly pulled wouldn’t have flied in the 1990s, let alone 30 years later.
Wow… what a child without the skills to just talk to him first .
Not the type of person one wants in their company,
It’s a fake story. Never happened. Work of fiction.
“And Mary isn’t the only one who’s faced this kind of pushback. When Gloria, a senior analyst, was told a leadership role was “too demanding for women,” she filed a report—and a few months later, she was the one sitting in her boss’s chair.”
Lol. Was Dabney Coleman Gloria’s boss?
Besides now meetings are recorded, and AI can quickly summarize them.
This was something else.
Idiot boss.
How many female Secretary of States are there? At least one for every blue state and probably some in the red states too. They love their jobs, however ‘secretarial’.
How hideous.
I am always pleased when I see that my grocery or fast food order is being delivered by a woman. In our experience, women actually read and follow delivery instructions, figure out how to get into the building and find the elevator, etc. We’ve had a problem only once with a female; many times with the males.
Sometimes one or the other sex really is generally better at something.
Amazing how effective these bs stories get so much traffic.
“Control or at least influence over communication is key. “
And the major media have entered the discussion.
I’ve held many meetings and I made it clear to everyone that everybody take notes. Nothing wrong with taking notes, and you are better prepared for the next meeting, or for follow up questions when it’s your turn to speak. I hate it when a meeting is held, and some don’t remember key points from the previous meeting.
Who’s better at taking notes Male or Female?
Doesn’t matter - Have the meeting recorded, and use Copilot to create a transcription, summary of the meeting including action items, and then send tasks for follow up.
Oddly, I found that women managers got other women to take notes. It was usually my boss who took notes and stated “Men don’t pay attention”.
Well, all this article shows is avoid certain women in the workplace.
Let’s flip the script shall we. A woman boss always asks a male colleague to change the lightbulbs when they burn out. It’s not part of his job and he’s tired of doing it. He says no, and she responds with men are better at it.. man goes to HR and the rest of the scenario plays out.
Does anyone think for one minute they female boss would be fired for doing exactly what the male boss did in this scenario?
Does anyone thing if the male employee asked other men for
Advise they would validate him?
Of course not. Women don’t want equality they want preference.
Women are either “empowered” or a ”victim” depending on which mode benefits them the most in any given situation, and the whole insane system
Caters to this insanity.
Was what he said sexist? Yes, was her job harmed by it? No she said she wouldn’t do it any longer, did he order her to keep doing it? No.. Did he deserved to be fired over it .. No. and offering to speak with her directly about it probably did violate policy, but is what any Man would and should do.. his framing as he overreacting didn’t help. But as an adult male
when someone has a beef with you deal with it like adult
Men… face to face… unfortunately this wasn’t a
Man who he was dealing with. HR is nearly 100% female and on the rare occasion they aren’t they are almost always a member of the lavender mafia.
Men, be very very careful what women you engage with on a work environment and what work environment you put yourself in.
I wish she name the business she was working for so I can make a
Mental note, and so other folks can avoid it.
Yes the guy was stupid to say what he said in a professional setting, but terminal offense? Hardly.
You may remember the Navy had a sexual harrasmment scandal in the 90s called “Tailhook”.
I worked for the DoD then and the civilians ended up going to several sexual harrasmment training courses because of it.
After one, the instructor asked if there were any questions.
I said “so according to your training, a man is guilty of sexual harrasmment until he proves he’s not?”
Looking at me stone faced his reply was “YEP”.
Sure, this week a bunch of hormonal women get all indignant reading it, and then another group next week, and another group the week after...
It's like oxygen to them, satiating an inner desire for validation.
The story, were it to happen, would be a female boss putting down a prettier female subordinate because the mirror on the wall told the boss she was no longer the fairest of them all.
“ I’ll take things that never happened for $1,000.”
This is so AI
My coworker is a major shirker. Who care what gender either of us are? I was the one who din the spreadsheet. I reported everything, every day. Eventually I’m the one everyone wants to ask what’s going on. I made a template for midday group report to scan to phone for group texts
I left the office late. Always after the shirker. I did it in a positive way, I made myself valuable
That’s work.
I could talk all day about women’s behavior vs men’s. That’s because we have general differences
Who cares?
And if this pretend AI woman thinks getting someone fired is not escalating, that’s wrong
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