Posted on 10/31/2025 2:54:05 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
https://babylonbee.com/news/prodigal-son-returns-after-snap-benefits-expire
GALILEE — A local family rejoiced after a wayward son returned in repentance to his father, though subsequent reports claimed that this was because he just ran out of SNAP benefits.
Sources said that the father ran out to his son, who looked a little pudgy after living on government-subsidized junk food for months, and embraced him.
"My father! I have sinned, and am no longer worthy to be called your son," said the young prodigal to his weeping dad. "Is there anything in the fridge? My EBT card hasn't been working since this government shutdown stuff happened."
Witnesses said the patriarch reportedly told his servants to slaughter the fatted calf and put some nutritious food on the table for the malnourished welfare recipient.
"Let us eat unprocessed food and celebrate," the father said, "for my son, who was dependent upon government assistance, has been found."
Tensions began to escalate, however, when the prodigal's older brother complained that he had been thanklessly pulling his weight and paying his taxes for years, all to support lazy bums like his little brother. "My taxes aren't meant to feed good-for-nothing welfare queens," he said. "This is the stupid libs' fault."
At publishing time, the prodical had quickly moved out again after the government resumed functioning and his EBT card got refilled.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
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If you listen to the SNAP recipients, at the precise stroke of midnight, 42 million people are going to become emaciated Ethiopians with bloated bellies and flies crawling across their faces...
I met a guy from Ethiopia when I visited Israel in 2017. We were laughing together while we tested the Dead Sea (to see if it was possible to sink LOL). I asked him to tell me straight up what life is like in Ethiopia. First thing out of his mouth was that there's a substantial middle class and virtually no child is hungry. I said, "You mean the Bernadette Peters ads are a bunch of lies?" He said Yes. LOL
Gotta love the Bee.
I need to go to the grocery tomorrow to get some things to fix a meal or two for some friends. The wife of the couple just had serious orthopedic surgery. It went well.
I think I will go quite early.
When the looting gets insane and stores are vandalized and permanently shut who does the left blame.
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