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Bad Luck: Trump Says The Missing Epstein Files Were In The East Wing And Have Now Been Destroyed
BabylonBee.com ^ | Oct 27, 2025 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 10/27/2025 5:57:52 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum

https://babylonbee.com/news/bad-luck-trump-says-the-missing-epstein-files-were-in-the-east-wing-and-have-now-been-destroyed

WASHINGTON, D.C. — The Jeffrey Epstein case is now formally closed following an announcement by President Donald Trump that all the missing Epstein files were in the East Wing of the White House and have now been destroyed.

"You know, I never go to the East Wing, but I guess that's where all the Epstein files were. Even the client list, if you can believe it. They said there was no client list, but I guess it was in the East Wing the whole time. Who knew?" Trump told reporters Monday morning. "There were a lot of files. A lot of files. Poof — all gone. They've gone bye-bye."

"Oh well," he added.

According to reports, House Oversight Committee Chairman James Comer, whose congressional committee had previously been looking into suspected agency misconduct as it pertained to the Epstein case, was surprised to learn the files were at the White House the whole time. "That seems like a weird place to keep all those files," he reportedly told colleagues. "Too bad. I guess no one will see them now."

At publishing time, President Trump revealed Jeffrey Epstein's accomplice, Ghislaine Maxwell, had also been in the East Wing of the White House when it was destroyed.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; eplentyofspam; epluribusrino; epsteinobsessed; nevertrumpingtroll; zot

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1 posted on 10/27/2025 5:57:52 PM PDT by E. Pluribus Unum
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

This should be a hot thread! lol


2 posted on 10/27/2025 6:07:51 PM PDT by TigersEye (Terrorism has been institutionalized by the left. Ask no quarter. Give no quarter.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

“ At publishing time, President Trump revealed Jeffrey Epstein’s accomplice, Ghislaine Maxwell, had also been in the East Wing of the White House when it was destroyed”
******************************************************

I KNEW it was a mistake to have Maxwell brought to the White House to tell her she wasn’t going to have her sentence commuted. Who on the W/H staff made that boneheaded recommendation! /sarc


3 posted on 10/27/2025 6:16:30 PM PDT by House Atreides (I’m now ULTRA-MAGA-PRO-MAX)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

I LOVE Our President!!!


4 posted on 10/27/2025 6:17:42 PM PDT by 1_Rain_Drop ( ~~ TRUMP is right about EVERYTHING ! ~~ )
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Destroyed in the demolition, along with the bodies the Clintons hid in the walls.


5 posted on 10/27/2025 6:18:38 PM PDT by mass55th (“Courage is being scared to death, but saddling up anyway.” ― John Wayne)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Ha! That takes care of that.
/s


6 posted on 10/27/2025 6:22:50 PM PDT by faithhopecharity ("Politicians aren't born, they're excreted." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

Oh no!

Now the only hope is for a judge to unblock the release of those names!


7 posted on 10/27/2025 6:41:57 PM PDT by Bayard
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

That really is one of the Bee’s better ones.


8 posted on 10/27/2025 6:50:53 PM PDT by packagingguy
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To: E. Pluribus Unum
Briefing Room

White House

https://www.whitehouse.gov/about-the-white-house/the-white-house/

Major Events Timeline

2023

Cocaine Discovered
During Biden’s administration, a U.S. Secret Service agent discovered a small, zippered plastic bag containing cocaine in the West Wing entrance lobby. Speculation has pointed to Hunter Biden, an admitted drug user. Additional evidence includes a laptop, seized in 2019, which contains photos of frequent drug use alongside emails about foreign business dealings (Ukraine, China) involving his father, Joe, while he was Vice President.

9 posted on 10/27/2025 6:57:49 PM PDT by kiryandil (No one in AZ that voted for Trump voted for Gallego )
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

—Well, of all the darned luck... 🤣


10 posted on 10/27/2025 10:35:04 PM PDT by citizen (A transgender male competing against women may be male, but he's no man.)
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To: E. Pluribus Unum

If anything was of importance about Epstein it would have been told when he was alive.

He was a front man for others then anything.


11 posted on 10/28/2025 8:21:07 AM PDT by Vaduz
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