Posted on 09/10/2025 10:50:10 AM PDT by dayglored
Bacon is great, but what meeting of Christians doesn’t involve brownies?
Aren’t dogs haram in islam? Also wiping your ass with your hand can’t be a great feeling. (mental note: never shake hands with a muslim)
Chris Tomlin and those young kids from Hillsong United have some catchy tunes.
Ideally, ss I understand it, a Muslim uses the left hand for wiping, and the right hand for eating and shaking hands.
The punishment for thieves is to cut off one hand, thus forcing the thief to use the same hand for wiping as for eating. And shaking hands.
So before shaking hands with a Muslim, check to see that they have both hands, and shake the right one.
I am not Muslim, so my information is second-hand. So to speak.
11) you won’t have to worry about your future
Once you are killed for leaving Islam, as a damned heretic, you will have no further worries
12) wearing a pager won’t blow your balls off
So, you prefer killing trees. 💩
Islam has 72 virgin ho’s waiting for you in the afterlife if you successfully martyr yourself. That might sound appealing to some, but keep in mind that there’s no bacon either.
New trees can always be planted.
Word to the wise: Never ever shake hands with a hook! 😱
The left hand is unclean poop hand. Never touch a Muslim with your left hand
Boudin, pork chops, jalapeño sausage, pulled pork butts, tenderloin, pork rinds, tamales…
In the ~1400 years Islam has been active, all the available beautiful young virgins have already been assigned. As a result, current and future martyrs will have to make do with virgins that are, shall we say, not as appealing. Maybe think Helen Thomas, Nancy Pelosi, Hillary Clinton, etc.
Also, there's no guarantee that the virgins are female. Take that into consideration...
I tend to think that the failed martyrs, those that don’t rack up enough infidel kills before they bite it, end up being the virgin ho’s. Allah, who runs that big ho house in the sky, has them sex changed and given to the more successful martyrs, and probably passed around as well to make up for the likely shortage of them. Mohammed (piss on him) knew all this from his divine epileptic seizure dreams and probably decided not to give his jihadist followers the entire truth, lest they convert to something else.
That’s some handy information.
13) Your wife can drive so you can ask her to go buy your beer.
I’ll just stick with these:
1. The Mohammed of Islam never actually existed.
2. The city of Mecca didn’t exist until at least a century after Mohammed was supposed to have lived.
3. Not only was the Koran neither God-given nor incorruptible (i.e., not a single word changed), but there’s around 30 versions of it with tens of thousands of differences between all versions. It also post-dates Mohammed by at least a century.
I know... I’m a killjoy for injecting a serious answer.
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