How to Take the Keys Away From an Elderly Driver: A Step-by-Step Guide

Our Parents ^ | February 24, 2024 | Staff

[DoodleBob]

This article from last night is about a GM patent for tech that would kill the engine of a car if grandma or grandpa was a “Bad Driver”.

It spawned a discussion about the relative safety of drivers by age. That led to a sidebar on taking away an older parent’s keys.

Any actual success stories or bad approaches are appreciated.

[V_TWIN]

Would it be too awfully oppressive for a state DMV to require a full blown driving test every year or other year for operators once they reach a certain age?.....say 70?

That would take the pressure off the family to pull the trigger.

Just a thought.

[Bernard]

IF you are in a state where you can trust every employee or official in charge of the DMV to be on the up and up.

I live in Illinois. So for me, not so much. Based on recent activity, sounds like the same thing goes for California and Washington state.

[navymom1]

Had to report my father to the DMV due to his dementia. His wife was putting him in the car and telling him where to turn etc. So unsafe. She refused to get her eyes fixed in order to get her license back. It was a tragedy in waiting. I had thoughts of them putting someone in a wheelchair or killing a kid on a bike.

Reporting him was my only option. It cost me the remainder of his life as he hated me after that and his wife kept that hatred stoked. So any relationship was gone. Too stressful on him and too hard on me. I’m told he continued to drive but they had moved to a neighboring state. I guess he drove up until he was finally hospitalized where he spent the final few months of his life.

[2nd Amendment]

I live in the south, this is just everyday driving behavior!

[Worldtraveler once upon a time]

Thanks for the Canadian site's views, a site linked to a number of "care providers" because business is business. But some other views are linked below.

"Demographically, young drivers pose the highest risk on the road. Teens ages 16 to 19, accounting for only 3.6% of all licensed U.S. drivers, make up 9.1% of drivers in car crashes and 6.1% of drivers in fatal car crashes. Men are also at increased risk on the road, as they made up over 72% of America's car crash fatalities in 2022."

Source: Car accidents statistics 2025 Consumer Affairs, 24 July 2024

16-24 --- 5,623
25-34 --- 6,548
35-44 --- 5,117
45-54 --- 4,958
55-64 --- 5,347
65-74 --- 3,658
75+ ------ 3,556

Source: What age group has the most fatal crashes? (2025) AutoInsurance.org, 1 August 2025

Maybe it's time to take the car keys away from the young.

[NorthernDancer]

Getting my Dad’s license taken away was harder than any other change in his last years. He broke his wrist in a fall at a restaurant and we were given the keys after he went to the hospital. After the rwo weeks that the injury kept him sidelined, we went to the DMV, I think, and not the police. Here in Florida, if the request to remove a license comes from a family member or other person (as opposed to law enforcement or medical professional), a medical appointment needs to be occur, which we he got at the VA. It was apparent to them that he should not be driving so he never got the license back. Between then and when I retired, I took him to his favorite restaurant on the way to work and arranged for someone to bring him home a couple of hours later.

[TalBlack]

“Reporting him was my only option“

Yup. Tough decision but the right one.

[Hartlyboy]

First they came for the old ones, but I wasn’t old...

[redfreedom]

I think there should be red flag laws targeting elderly drivers as there should be for owning firearms. I mean, it’s for the greater good, and for the children. Anyone (except the elite and politicians with a “D” behind their name) turning 65 should automatically have their drivers license revoked. /s/

[LilFarmer]

I posted this on the other thread but, in our experience a doctor came to the rescue

My FIL had dementia and taking away his car keys was so sad. He loved to drive but he became too dangerous. He fought us on it, but his neurologist had a driving simulator test that checked his reaction times, judgment and other things. He told my FIL that he absolutely should not be driving, that several times in the test he had made choices that could have caused an accident or even killed someone.

FIL handed the doc his keys that day. We were so relieved.

But he had a great trust of doctors, and also his financial advisor who advised him to give my hubby financial POA. That was a lifesaver too, as we were able to move lol his banking online and pay his bills when he was unable.

[huckfillary]

This isn’t complicated. I just took them when he wasn’t looking and gave them his trustworthy neighbor to hide.

[digger48]

I relinquished mine

DMV says my eyesight is good enough, but don’t want to take the chance of hurting someone

[Worldtraveler once upon a time]

---- "First they came for the old ones, but I wasn't old..."

The resonance of that is amazing. All the more so, as one realizes the posted site is Canadian, and Canadians are among the forefront of euthanasia among other "caring" political endeavors. All best.

[FamiliarFace]

When we have encountered this, our parents voluntarily gave up their keys.

The first was my Dad, who was a very good driver, but one time had a minor accident that was his fault, with one of his granddaughters in the car. She thankfully wasn’t hurt, but he felt terrible. His health was failing at that point, so he must have realized it was time to let others take care of him. He was gone in just another year after that incident.

The next was my FIL, who never much liked driving anyway. He had macular degeneration, so let his wife do most of the driving during his last few years.

Then came my Mom. She could drive fine, but she used landmarks as her guide very often, rather than reading street names. She died in the town where she was born and raised, and then raised her kids. It grew A LOT over 80+ years. At one point she made a wrong turn and couldn’t figure out where she was anymore, because businesses had closed, and new storefronts had taken over. Thankfully, she pulled into a store lot and went inside and was able to call my sister, who spoke to the clerk to figure out where Mom was. She was a little over a mile from home. It scared her enough to get her to give up the keys.

MIL was the hardest, but at 93 gave up her keys. She’d had two fender benders in parking lots (church and grocery store) in 6 months time. Her vision was getting worse and her reaction time was slowing. When we offered to give her an Uber card account that we keep refilled, she realized it was just a phone call away to have someone take her where she wanted to go. Problem solved.

There still is a working car in her garage, but that’s for when her kids or caregivers are there and can drive her where she wants to go. She KNOWS she can’t see well enough to drive at this point. (She’s 97, and still lives in her own home.)

[Sacajaweau]

put miles driven un the equation. i’m 80...I drive 1000 miles a year.

[Codeflier]

Accidents per miles driven is the key metric. Over 75 is by far the most dangerous per that metric. Additionally, even a minor accident can severely injure an elderly person.

[A Formerly Proud Canadian]

Taking the keys away from an elderly driver is the easy part. How do you take away the keys from all the immigrants who still drive like they are in Lagos, Nigeria?

[Worldtraveler once upon a time]

--- "Accidents per miles driven is the key metric. Over 75 is by far the most dangerous per that metric. Additionally, even a minor accident can severely injure an elderly person."

Have you a link from an entity like an insurance site or a consumer site to bolster the assertion? Thanks in advance.

[alloysteel]

There are old drivers, and there are bold drivers. There are no old, bold drivers.