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BREAKING: TRUMP FINDS CURE FOR CANCER (Parody)
Free Republic ^ | Aug. 16, 2025 | piytar

Posted on 08/16/2025 5:05:37 PM PDT by piytar

President Trump, after brokering a peace deal between Congo and Rwanda, found that Doctors Without Borders operating in that war-torn region had discovered a plant that cures all known forms of cancer. The plant is surprisingly common and can be cultivated in any greenhouse. While clinical trials are ongoing, Europe plans to start utilizing the cure within the next few months. The FDA expects to expedite use of the cure, so it should be available in the United States within the next decade or so.

ABC, CBS, NBC, and MSNBC have responded that discovery of this cure will cost many cancer researchers their jobs. They also all agreed that the cure will cause untold harm to the economy because of its impact on the pharmaceutical industry. Nancy Pelosi has already sold off all her holdings in pharmaceutical companies, emphasizing the damage this cure will do to the economy.

The universal opinion of the political experts on theses esteemed networks is that President Trump should immediately be impeached for this action because curing cancer by a President has no basis in the Constitution.

The View in particular was outspoken, with one speaker saying "Trump has again gone beyond his authority as so-called President."

Fox News pundit Tyrus responded saying, "isn't curing cancer a good thing?" He of course was immediately castigated in the media for being a "right wing Nazi."


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: humor; lol; media; trump
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To: Political Junkie Too
You think this is a parody?

It's my original work. Had to add the (Parody) because I'd rather not be sued for defamation. But per the rest of your excellent post, there is always some truth in good (hope my article counts) parody/satire.

21 posted on 08/16/2025 5:40:23 PM PDT by piytar (Remember Ashli Babbitt, Rosanne Boyland, and Corey Comperatore!)
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To: piytar
I wasn't mocking or questioning your parody, only showing that it actually happened to President Bush that the LAAP-dog media found a way to make ending the violence a bad thing.

-PJ

22 posted on 08/16/2025 5:47:41 PM PDT by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: Political Junkie Too

Oh I got it, hence part of my comment was “your excellent post.” Did not take any offense whatsoever.


23 posted on 08/16/2025 5:52:41 PM PDT by piytar (Remember Ashli Babbitt, Rosanne Boyland, and Corey Comperatore!)
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To: Larry Lucido

“President Trump walks on water. MSM: Trump can’t swim!”

>>>>>>>>>>>

Excellent comment, had a good laugh!

MSM: “Trump can’t even swim, forced to walk on water!”


24 posted on 08/16/2025 5:57:38 PM PDT by USA-FRANCE (Silence against evil isn't neutrality, it's complicity. Oppose the Iran-Russia-North Korea Alliance!)
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To: Political Junkie Too

25 posted on 08/16/2025 6:02:56 PM PDT by TigersEye (The Golden Age of MAGA is upon us!)
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To: piytar

I thought Biden already cured cancer? ;-)


26 posted on 08/16/2025 6:14:04 PM PDT by Rightwing Conspiratr1
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To: Rightwing Conspiratr1

No, Biden cured any extra wealth. He also cured a lot of good will that some may have felt towards others.


27 posted on 08/16/2025 6:27:52 PM PDT by oldtech
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To: piytar
All falls under Climate Change, which killed all of us back in the 70's.

Oh yes! I remember that. It was terrible freezing to death back in the ice age of the 70's.

28 posted on 08/16/2025 6:30:43 PM PDT by Colorado Doug
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To: maro
"If people don’t die of cancer, Social Security is doomed! "

I think we've been being set up for an early demise all our lives.

29 posted on 08/16/2025 6:36:19 PM PDT by The Duke (Not without incident.)
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To: piytar
BREAKING: TRUMP FINDS CURE FOR CANCER...DEMOCRATS DEEPLY SADDENED.

There. Fixed it.
30 posted on 08/16/2025 6:44:54 PM PDT by know.your.why
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To: know.your.why

Well done!


31 posted on 08/16/2025 7:12:47 PM PDT by piytar (Remember Ashli Babbitt, Rosanne Boyland, and Corey Comperatore!)
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To: Telepathic Intruder

Landfills and oceans will fill with hair from no one taking chemo and more people having haircuts. Millennials will suffer from more Boomers living longer without retiring and freeing up jobs. Where will child laborers find work if people aren’t smoking pot to assist with cancer? Trump is a racist for not curing AIDS for gays, or is that also a straight disease, I can’t remember.


32 posted on 08/16/2025 7:44:17 PM PDT by Tell It Right (1 Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: piytar

But if there is a cure, then we would have too many old folks!


33 posted on 08/16/2025 7:47:23 PM PDT by Mark (DONATE ONCE every 3 months-is that a big deal?)
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To: Mark
Actually many books and movies have been based on the premise that if people live too long we end up with a horrid over-population issue.

The Star Trek episode "The Mark of Gideon” is the first one I can recall. is the first one I recall.

34 posted on 08/16/2025 8:09:09 PM PDT by piytar (Remember Ashli Babbitt, Rosanne Boyland, and Corey Comperatore!)
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To: Mark

Sorry for the glitch/repeated phrase at the end of my comment.


35 posted on 08/16/2025 8:10:34 PM PDT by piytar (Remember Ashli Babbitt, Rosanne Boyland, and Corey Comperatore!)
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To: piytar

36 posted on 08/16/2025 8:20:07 PM PDT by dragnet2 (Diversion and evasion are tools of deceit)
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To: piytar

By Trump finding a cure for cancer, a million people (doctors, nurses, billers, janitors in cancer clinics, researchers in labs trying to find cancer cure, companies manufacturing cancer treatment machines & medicines, and funeral homes) are now unemployed.


37 posted on 08/16/2025 8:28:09 PM PDT by Bobbyvotes (TERM LIMITS is the ONLY WAY to get rid of corrupt career politicians. )
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To: All

The Thousand Oncologist March begins at noon. Drop your stethoscopes and be there. We cannot let this monster destroy our careers.


38 posted on 08/16/2025 8:32:48 PM PDT by Peter ODonnell (My tagline has gone missing and is the subject of a massive search by the authorities)
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To: piytar

I can see everyone comparing this to AI taking away jobs from everyone.


39 posted on 08/16/2025 8:45:28 PM PDT by johnnygeneric (Blocked website)
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To: Sarah Barracuda
Protests are forming demanding “We want Cancer! When do we want it? NOW!”

/Sarcasm

40 posted on 08/16/2025 10:35:22 PM PDT by Lockbox (politicians, they all seemed like game show host to me.... Sting)
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