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Sound Of Husband Plopping Down On Couch Helpfully Reminds Wife There’s Something She Wanted Him To Do
babylonbee.com ^ | Aug 7, 2025

Posted on 08/08/2025 5:12:34 AM PDT by V_TWIN

TULSA, OK — Witnesses said local wife Danielle Matson perked up quickly after hearing the sound of her husband, Dave, plopping down on the couch, as it instantly reminded her of all the things she needed him to do for her.

While her husband had just finished mowing and weeding the yard after spending all day working at his day job, Danielle didn't remember all of the pressing tasks she needed him to complete until she heard his body make contact with the couch cushions.

"Oh! Dave!" she exclaimed. "Can you bring in the giant bag of flour I bought from Costco that's in the back of the van in the garage? I need it right now to make bread for dinner, and it's so heavy."

Dave reportedly sighed, savoring the two seconds he got to enjoy sitting on the couch before slowly standing up and heading out to the garage. "I felt my back make contact with the couch for a moment, and it felt nice," he said. "I'd like to try that again sometime... but maybe for longer."

Danielle thanked her husband for bringing her the bag of flour and paused, holding still to see if she could hear him sit down once again. "Dave... are you going to sit down? I could use some help with the dishes before I start dinner."

At publishing time, sources said Dave could be heard trying to "sneak" away to use the restroom before Danielle asked him how long he was planning on being gone, as the garbage needed to be taken out.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; cuethetriggeredmen; satire
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To: FamiliarFace

Lol. Didn’t see her thanking him for going to his paying job all day. Why weren’t those dishes done while he was gone? My guess is she watched TV all day eating bon bons.


21 posted on 08/08/2025 6:15:36 AM PDT by subterfuge (I'm a pure-blood!)
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To: V_TWIN

Every married man knows this....


22 posted on 08/08/2025 6:15:50 AM PDT by Bruce Campbells Chin ( )
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To: Tell It Right

I wish...😪


23 posted on 08/08/2025 6:23:31 AM PDT by madison10 (There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.)
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To: V_TWIN

It’s totally ok however to come home from work to a trashed house, a woman still in her pajamas and no dinner...

The biggest mistake mankind made was when we allowed them to start wearing shoes...


24 posted on 08/08/2025 6:23:48 AM PDT by sit-rep (START DEMANDING INDICTMENTS NOW!!!!!)
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To: V_TWIN

Yep!!


25 posted on 08/08/2025 6:25:41 AM PDT by sauropod (Make sure Satan has to climb over a lot of Scripture to get to you. John MacArthur Ne supra crepidam)
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To: subterfuge; V_TWIN

It does sound like Danielle ate bonbons after she got back from Costco, I’ll give you that.

Seriously, you guys need better wives. When you have better wives, you mow the lawn when you feel like doing it. If it’s a riding mower, you mow the lawn a LOT.

Also, better wives make sure to keep your beer fridge packed with your favorites, too.


26 posted on 08/08/2025 6:27:16 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: V_TWIN

My mother-in-law did this to husband when he was a late teen/early 20s and was working. He would sit down to read and she would ask for something from the basement three or four times in a row. Exasperated, he told her to please figure out what she needed so he could get everything in one trip.

I never ask him to do anything. He would call me a nag.


27 posted on 08/08/2025 6:28:22 AM PDT by madison10 (There are more things in heaven and earth, Horatio, than are dreamt of in your philosophy.)
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To: V_TWIN

The names have been changed to protect the innocent.


28 posted on 08/08/2025 6:29:13 AM PDT by XEHRpa
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To: FamiliarFace

LOL. This male FReeper does it ALL. Cook, clean, laundry, dishes, finances, lawn, pool, general maintenance...you name it, I do it.


29 posted on 08/08/2025 6:39:06 AM PDT by subterfuge (I'm a pure-blood!)
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To: subterfuge

What does your wife do? I’m asking seriously. Is she handicapped or just high maintenance?


30 posted on 08/08/2025 6:43:16 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: Bruce Campbells Chin

See my post 14......I just put the weedeater up 😏


31 posted on 08/08/2025 6:45:12 AM PDT by V_TWIN (America...so great even the people that hate it refuse to leave!)
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To: RandallFlagg

LOL! Truth.


32 posted on 08/08/2025 6:51:53 AM PDT by Starboard
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To: FamiliarFace

She isn’t handicapped per se. But she has physical limitations that make physical activity very difficult or impossible for her. I’m happy to be able to take care of things, mostly. I retired a couple of months ago so it’s not so bad. Thanks for asking.


33 posted on 08/08/2025 6:55:15 AM PDT by subterfuge (I'm a pure-blood!)
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To: V_TWIN

Damn straight “truth”!


34 posted on 08/08/2025 6:58:23 AM PDT by stevio (Fight until you die!)
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To: V_TWIN

Kinda true. It all varies. My wife is a nurse and I’m mostly retired. I do 75% of the housework. I enjoy it.


35 posted on 08/08/2025 7:03:13 AM PDT by waterhill (Nobody cares, work harder!)
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To: V_TWIN; Sicon; redfreedom; xp38; RandallFlagg; Tell It Right; Bob434; FamiliarFace; Vision; ...
Everyone on this thread needs to watch this excellent, hilarious video by Mark Gungor (I believe he is a Pastor doing a church couples seminar here) explaining the difference between Men's Brains and Women's Brains! (It is about five minutes, but...it is the funniest and most truthful explanation...especially about the man's "Nothing Box"!!!


Mark Gungor-A Tale of Two Brains" (Full version)

I admit that this is my favorite part (link takes you right to it)

A Man's Brain is like a...box! And this part:

A Woman's Brain is like...a big ball of wire-everything is connected to EVERYTHING!

Watching the video will be the best five minutes you spend today, especially if this thread made you laugh!

36 posted on 08/08/2025 7:05:13 AM PDT by rlmorel (Factio Communistica Sinensis Delenda Est.)
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To: rlmorel

I love that video! It’s so true!


37 posted on 08/08/2025 7:06:28 AM PDT by FamiliarFace (I got my own way of livin' But everything gets done With a southern accent Where I come from. TPetty)
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To: V_TWIN; Sicon; redfreedom; xp38; RandallFlagg; Tell It Right; Bob434; FamiliarFace; Vision; ...
My apologies-the link above was to the ENTIRE seminar which is about two hours! Ain't nobody got time for dat!

This link is to a five minute excerpt that gets right to the heart of the matter-use this one instead:

LINK: Abbreviated version of "The Tale of Two Brains".

38 posted on 08/08/2025 7:10:39 AM PDT by rlmorel (Factio Communistica Sinensis Delenda Est.)
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To: V_TWIN

Why is it that when things are finally starting to run smoothly, they always seem to want to get in there and meddle with it?


39 posted on 08/08/2025 7:11:36 AM PDT by equaviator (Nobody's perfect. That's why they put pencils on erasers!)
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To: FamiliarFace

Hehehehe...so true!

You know it is true, because you see both the men and women in the audience laughing uproariously...so the truth hits on both sides!


40 posted on 08/08/2025 7:11:42 AM PDT by rlmorel (Factio Communistica Sinensis Delenda Est.)
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