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Posted on 07/12/2025 1:33:31 AM PDT by Lazamataz
This is (possibly, depending on the feedback I get) going to be the first chapter of the sequel for my first novel. This will be in the "Dimensions" universe. Critiques and reviews welcome!
Sprites
Sprites, they called them. Cute name for them, but they were very dangerous.
Martini adjusted his exosuit for an excursion onto the surface of Europa. This was the Jovian moon that had long fascinated Earth’s scientists. Those scientists were intrigued by the possibility of life under the kilometers of ice, in the oceans beneath.
Pedro Martini didn’t care about any of that. He was here to find rare earth deposits in the ice. That’s where the money was, and the corporation that sent him only cared about the money.
Mankind had been given access to teleporters by the Cephians, the extraterrestrial race that was a little under 1700 light years away. The primary use they put it to was to communicate with us, and to allow us access to the Galactic Communication Network that connected over 16,000 distinct sapient races across the Milky Way Galaxy.
These teleporters folded space along the fourth dimension, which allowed instant communications across those vast distances. The power requirement to send matter across folded space was very prohibitive at large distances – anything over a light year or so – but photons are massless. Communication between star systems was possible, but physical travel was not.
Mankind had discovered, however, that true teleportation over shorter distances was not only possible, but had a very low energy requirement. The conquest of the solar system had begun in earnest.
Martini punched the control panel that cycled the airlock with his clumsy gloves. The suit was mostly comfortable, but he hated the gloves. He always felt like he had thick sausage fingers when he was in this damned contraption. There was a sharp hiss as air escaped from the lock, but as the air escaped, the sound quieted quickly. Now all he could hear was his slow breath and the occasional ping sounds of life-support equipment noisily confirming their function.
He stepped onto the surface of the moon. He heard the ice and snow crystals crunch under his feet, vaguely reminding him of the sound he used to hear, as a child, when walking to school during the brutal winters of Upstate New York. Back then, it never failed to surprise him how something made out of water, frozen or not, could sound so dry.
“Clovis Twelve, Expedition Gamma. Beginning survey of Zone 18,” he said into his exosuit microphone.
“Copy that,” crackled the response. “Let me know if you need anything.”
The Clovis Twelve base housed the teleporter portal and the support equipment sent from Earth eighteen months ago. Clovis Twelve was located at one of the two thin-ice locations on Europa. Most of the ice on Europa was kilometers in depth; however, this patch was less than one kilometer thick. It was a good place to drill and look for the valuable rare-earth metals.
He hefted the drill equipment off the side of the exploration vehicle. In the low gravity, it was more a matter of clumsiness than it was the weight. He accidentally banged one of the pieces of equipment against his leg. “Shit!” he exclaimed, alarmed. He listened for the telltale hiss of escaping oxygen, but hearing none, he continued gathering the components of the laser-drill. That was lucky. He needed to be more careful. This would be a miserable place to die.
When humanity set up the first base on Europa, they discovered that Europa fairly teemed with a bizarre menagerie of life forms. Most of them were single-cell organisms, based on biochemistry completely alien to those found on Earth. There were larger life forms in thousands of configurations, too. They mostly congregated around the various hot spots in the oceans, but even away from the heated vents, the waters were full of life. The most deadly were the Sprites. These worm-like creatures, which could reach lengths up to eight meters long, were all teeth and body. If you were to compare them to an Earth-based life form. they were most analogous to Earth’s sharks. They had no eyes, but were able to locate prey by using their acute hearing. They were deadly, and they could burrow through the ice with ease, almost as easily as swimming through water.
Martini finished setting up the laser drill and activated it. It began melting the ice, the water sublimating into a gas that escaped into the vacuum. The laser quickly cut through the surface of the moon, and when water began to spew from the hole, he turned down the drill to a power level that would keep the drill hole from freezing again. He collected a sample of the water and put it into the device that would determine the concentration of rare-Earth metals. The device’s display flashed a set of numbers in green, indicating a large amount was present.
“Clovis Twelve, Expedition Gamma. I can report a score. Heavy concentrations here.”
“Roger that. Mark the location and return to base,” the operator on the other side responded.
He placed a radio beacon near the drill site and began dismantling the drill when movement under the ice caught the corner of his eye. Shit, he hoped it wasn’t a Sprite.
He picked up his pace, hoping to get back into the protection of his exploration vehicle as quickly as possible. He saw two more flashes of fleeting movement. Definitely Sprites. Dammit. He considered abandoning the drill machinery and coming back later to retrieve it. He was about to report the presence of Sprites to his home base, opening the channel, but never had the chance to report. He turned just in time to see the larger of the two Sprites leap out of the ice, the ring of teeth coming up to meet his visor. He managed to utter a single syllable, “Fuu…” before his helmet cracked open.
“Expedition Gamma, Clovis Twelve. Report in, please.”
Static.
“Expedition Gamma, Clovis Twelve. Please check in.”
Static.
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Thank you very much and God bless you.
Good read.
... but I hope Pedro’s not dead. :-(
... hate to break it to ya....
... but there are plenty of people that stay alive in my first title!
Love it. Are you a Benjamin Wallace fan?
I have not heard of the man. Should I learn of him?
It’s a mixed bag, on publisher. We went with Page Publishing. It has mixed reviews, but have seemed pretty legit. They likely don’t turn too many away; but the contract is very straightforward. I get the sense that some go into these deals thinking they’re the next Stephen King and when their books don’t sell, or they are not getting accolades, they leave bad reviews.
My wife and I have a marketing plan (this is me using my MBA, it might come in handy. Maybe... With a lot of luck).
We went hybrid publishing for the convenience in using their network. They work with book design, cover art (though we are using our own cover design), distribution, marketing, audio books, etc.
With both my wife and I working full-time, and running a separate LLC, having to do all the other legwork for the novelette, welikely would have never gotten it off the ground.
Regarding Page Publishing: If you have not sent them money yet, I’d steer clear.
What I read was not good. This is from ChatGPT:
Page Publishing is a legally registered, fee-based publishing service headquartered in Meadville, PA. It does deliver the product it promises—a printed and digital book distributed to the major online retailers—but nearly every independent watchdog classifies it as a vanity press rather than a traditional or author-friendly hybrid publisher. Up-front costs can run into the low five figures; watchdogs cite opaque upsells, aggressive telemarketing, and poor post-launch sales for most titles. Authors do occasionally report smooth experiences, and the company holds an A+ rating with the Better Business Bureau, yet overall consumer ratings, professional assessments, and the sales record of its catalog all point to a “buyer-beware”
There is much more, but it is poorly formatted for Free Republic.
I also work a full time job, but I still make time for DIY publishing and for marketing.
Nice reviews
I thought so!
Not near as bad as that. We did an option that covers 6k in fees that works the distribution design, and other services I indicated previously. The basic runs about 3k.
Author Royalties: Publisher shall pay to Author all funds Publisher receives from the respective vendors for sales of the printed and digital copies of the Work, less a 20 cent commission/administrative fee per copy sold. Quarterly accounting reports listing all sales from each distribution outlet and all net profit generated, as per each respective outlet’s most recent
terms and conditions, will be provided to Author by Publisher.
Recoupment of Author’s Investment: Publisher shall not be entitled to any commission/administrative fee as defined above until such time that Author has received a sum total of print and eBook book sales revenue equal to the amount invested by Author under this Agreement.
Without going to all the other services, the contract was fair.
This is the issue. Whether our novelette falls in this category or not, if the book does so poorly you never recoupment the amount invested, which goes first to the author before Page Publishing gets their cuts, people would be disgruntled. The investment saves me time, which is a commodity, and allows me to focus on writing, my LLC, and my full-time job. Oh and my hobby of whiskey making 😀. NOTE: Legally done at a local Distillery.
If our book does well, we get paid back first, whereas a traditional Publisher might give and advance, but then, they get paid first and the Royalties are, maybe 20%. With Page, the Royalties are in the 70% plus range.
To date, I do not have reason to believe they are dishonest. As a former federal agent, I am not easy to trust and scrutinize most everything.
Ok. Sounds like you did youe homework. Let me know how it works out, and stay in touch.
Absolutely. Who knows, this could all go south 🤔 👀 for all I know, and lesson learned.
I ordered your paperback and am looking forward to the read.
I will be more than happy to tell you about our journey with Page.
I was aware of this wobble but figured it wasn't very much. Thanks for the update.
Looks like I completed the bulk of my novel in about six months, including formatting to three versions (Kindle, paperback, and hardcover) and getting it self-published.... WHILE excelling at a 60-hour-a-week job, AND taking a graduate college course (one per semester), AND keeping a fiancée happy.
Six months for a whole novel. That's Steven-King-level output. Unsure I can match that output for the second novel.
But I shall try. 😁😁😁
Never mind. Just take my word for it. I cannot seem to post the link.
Here, I will try it like this: https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/4286078/posts
Make sure to let us know if yu are published.I want to read your book.
Its a good read.It takes time to get around cosmology from ancient India, but if you do you may see an entirely new universe.
My first book is already published.
Stylistically, it is much the same as this (unrefined) first chapter.
👍🏼👍🏼👍🏼
Hard work! Congratulations.
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