Posted on 06/15/2025 6:46:27 PM PDT by DoodleBob
A man turns to Reddit for support after a heated disagreement with his ex over how their children should spend Father’s Day.
He shares in his post that he and his ex, who were never married, share 50-50 custody of their two kids, ages 11 and 9, and that their arrangement has always been clear: “My ex always got Mother’s Day while I always got Father’s Day. That’s written into our court order and this has never been challenged before.”
Four years ago, his ex married a man named Nick, and the blended family has since grown with a child together and another on the way.
Now, the man explains that his "ex and Nick want the kids to be with them on Father’s Day and to celebrate the day with Nick specifically.”
He points out that the occasion is being turned into a larger gathering, as his “ex’s whole family and Nick’s whole family are getting together and they’re turning it into a family day.”
His ex argues that this makes it even more important for the kids to be there, but she also has another motive. “She has also stated she feels as though they mistreat Nick and this would be my way of saying it needs to stop,” he writes.
The reason for this tension, he explains, is that “the kids don’t like him and on family trees or family drawings they never included him.”
He reveals that his children “don’t call to wish [Nick] a Happy Father’s Day and they choose to ask me to do fatherly events with them instead of Nick, including on my ex’s time.”
(Excerpt) Read more at yahoo.com ...
This is so messed up, I don’t know where to start.
Having kids but not getting married doesn’t appear to make things better.
Reddit? Nah doodle.
Stupid is supposed to hurt.
What’s really sad is that this man’s stupidity is hurting his own children.
L
You can’t make people ‘like’ someone who you choose to like.
Especially not children. They may go along with it if given no choice, but the looks on their faces, the rolled eyes, and deep silent sighs are passive rebellion signs that let you know what they really think.
Well, if it’s court ordered, she’s wrong.
He’s right.
But how can she be his *ex* if they were never married.
I know, a girlfriend. But likely the relationship would have ended the same way had they been married. Still ex implies former spouse.
Obviously not.
Sad.
If she breeches that court order, I would go for full custody!
I don’t do Reddit either, but if the article excerpted above is accurate (who really knows) and the Father’s Day codicil is specified, there is no argument.
Further, the part ““She has also stated she feels as though they mistreat Nick and this would be my way of saying it needs to stop” if true, is weird.
Honestly, I don’t trust either party in this to tell the truth, but if what the guy said about the arrangement is true, then she wouldn’t have a leg to stand on.
If you aren’t the biological parent, you dont get the same honor due. Put your ego aside and swallow it, because you’ve chosen this. If the biological parent is involved, he gets first honors.
However, you can still nurture a good relationship if the kids are willing.
Women who mess with their children’s loyalties to their father are pure evil.
I’m convinced 99% of those Reddit posts are just someone’s creative writing. Make a new name, tell a new story and see how many responses they can gain.
However things like this happen in real life so it is not very far fetched.
He might end up with full custody of the kids if they become too much trouble.
People want to play "Happy Families" without putting in the work to actually make a real family. Then they act all confused when the kids refuse to play along.
It is really sad.
Sounds like he needs to.
Now, did you not ask her to marry you? Did she refuse to marry you? I knew we (wife and I) were going to get married at 21, but our son was born.
Forcing them to participate will not help that behavior. It will embolden it. They absolutely SHOULD be with their father. It’s a legal arrangement for a reason. This is a moment to teach compassion.
I’m not sure how old they are, but I went through something similar when my parents split. I was ten. My mom never married him, thankfully (it turned into a sh¡t show), but the sentiment remained; they dated for a decade. I understand the kids’ POV, so telling them, “You must spend this day with the step instead of your father” will exacerbate things.
BOTH parents need to sit down with the kids, together, and explain that it doesn’t look like their stepfather is going anywhere, and they don’t have to love him today, but just recognize that he wants to take care of them and their mother, BUT - nobody can ever replace their father. Ever. He will always have a special place in their lives (and no doubt mom’s in some ways), but they need to be kind.
Dad needs to have father’s day, and Nick can have a separate family day until the kids start warming up, or he can have brunch in the morning and dad can have dinner later in the evening. Ideally, both men should be able to celebrate with the family at the same time - my dad spent nearly every day here, and we see him often. All holidays were spent together. It was very amicable divorce, so I was lucky.
Force will hurt matters. Cooperate together - it’s best for the kids and parents. I must reiterate that discussions about compassion and their stepfather need to be addressed by both parents, and mom has to let him have Father’s Day.
,,, start with the Court order. Don't pass go and don't collect $200. It's it and that's that.
If this story is true, this father should not back down.
The kids are supposed to spend Father’s Day with him, as per the court order. It’s standard for the court to order Mother’s Day with mothers and Father’s Day with fathers.
If the mother and stepfather continue to complain, the father should file a complaint with the court.
Gee, I wonder where that animosity towards their biological father could possibly have originated?!
Not like exes ever "groom" their children to be resentful towards the excluded parent, right? Ri-ight?
Regards,
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