Posted on 03/03/2025 6:03:23 PM PST by george76
HELL — Infernal sources have just confirmed that Satan has decided to join the communion of the Episcopal Church.
According to Hell's spokesdemon, Satan had been attending ELCA and United Methodist churches for the past few years before deciding that the Episcopal Church was right for him.
"The Devil just lines up theologically with everything the Episcopalians are preaching," said Junior Devil Shmerklwitz, who serves as Satan's media liaison. "He wasn't really convinced for many years, but one fire-and-brimstone sermon from a gay transwoman bishop on how circumcision was an Old Testament picture of gender transitioning young babies really changed his mind on the denomination. He's their biggest supporter now."
According to local Bishop Glayle Jaemeson (they/them), Satan has been an excellent addition to the Episcopalian fold.
"It's a joy to celebrate the good news every week with this guy," Jaemeson said. "And we love the Sriracha doughnuts he brings for our coffee hour afterward. Top notch fellow — wish more of my parishioners were like him."
At publishing time, Satan had also considered joining the PCUSA, but decided to remain with the Episcopalians because of how much better their rainbow liturgy was.
Pretty much spot on!
I just spit mountain dew all over my screen!
He should think about becoming a pastor there. Everyone else is allowed to.
Well it is basically the Church of England, so...
It’s a shame how far the Episcopal church has fallen. Some of our friends and we did a Bible study last year, using a little 99 page book, “The Kneeling Christian”, written around 1920, by a Church of England vicar, Albert Richardson. It is one of the most scriptural and awesome books I have ever read. There is not one concept in this anointed book that does not agree with Scripture. It is still in print and also available on Kindle.
Episcopal Church endorses sex changes for children ‘at all ages’ The Episcopal Church has been post-Christian for some time, and has fully bought in to the premises of the transgender movement.
https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/4099604/posts
The Episcopal “Church’s” New “Pride Shield” Logo is Emblematic of the Harlot Church’s Apostasy..
https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-religion/4240884/posts
They’re beyond post Christian.
They are overtly anti-Christ.
Tina Peters wants you to know she didn’t kill herself.. not depressed and would never hurt myself or anyone else…. Let the people know the truth. They can silence me, but they can’t silence the truth. Things are getting more intense.”
https://freerepublic.com/focus/f-chat/4284675/posts
I’ll have to check and see if this means he has left my old ELCA church.🤣
Is she still in Jail?
Post-Christian just means they’ve gone the way of the world and abandoned the true path. “Broad is the road and wide is the gate that leads to destruction, and many who enter in”. There is the right thing, and there is the popular thing.
Sriracha doughnuts will do that to you.
People don’t want to drag themselves out of bed on Sunday mornings just to be bombarded with Big Gay propaganda.
Too many churches have failed this lesson and people are leaving.
Yes..
The DOJ just filed a statement of interest in Tina Peters’s case. Peters is a gold star mom and ..
Thank you for sharing that. I am going to hunt for a copy.
“Sriracha doughnuts”
that’s good - lol
You won’t be disappointed. We studied a chapter a week, and it was a rare lesson when the presence of the Spirit of the LORD was not palpably felt.
It is supposed to be satire...
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