Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

To pay back $20 million campaign debt, Kamala Harris agrees to fight Jake Paul
Babylon Bee ^ | November 18, 2024 | babylon bee

Posted on 11/18/2024 7:23:54 PM PST by luv2ski

WILMINGTON, DE — After finding out how much money former heavyweight boxing champion Mike Tyson made from his highly publicized Netflix exhibition fight, failed presidential candidate Kamala Harris announced plans to pay back her $20 million campaign debt by agreeing to fight Jake Paul early next year.

With her campaign severely in the red following her lopsided loss to Donald Trump this month, Harris had been searching for quick and easy ways to pay down the remaining debt, making a prize fight against Paul an appealing option.

"It's time for me to wipe that smug smile off Jake Paul's face and make a truckload of cash," Harris said in a statement announcing the fight. "If Mike Tyson can do it at the age of 58, I can do it at 60, am I right? HAHAHA! Besides, age is just a number. Campaign debt is a number. Numbers tell a story. But not with words. With numbers. And the story they tell is time. And the story of time is us. And that's why I'm going to fight Jake Paul in 2025 to get my campaign out of astronomical debt. You better get ready, Jake! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!" A Harris-Walz insider revealed the campaign was hoping the proceeds from a match with Paul would yield enough revenue to make up for the exorbitant fees paid to celebrities like Oprah and Beyonce to appear and endorse what ended up being Harris's losing effort. "This could solve all of our problems," the source said. "Even if she loses — which, let's be honest, that's all she ever does — she'll come away with a cool $20 million. We'll all be looking forward to the loss this time around."

At publishing time, Harris's efforts to get her campaign out of debt had hit obstacles after Harris offered to pay John Legend and Julia Roberts $10 million each to help promote her fight with Paul.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; campaignfinance; dcircularfiringsquad; democrats; election; harris; meltdown; oprahgotpaid; politics
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-22 next last

1 posted on 11/18/2024 7:23:54 PM PST by luv2ski
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

God I hope KH doesn’t read this. She already needs therapy enough. What’s her email again? -Asking for a friend...


2 posted on 11/18/2024 7:27:01 PM PST by know.your.why
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

There is a report on X that Kamala and Doug are headed for a divorce. I am not surprised at all. So is Doug maybe really Gay?


3 posted on 11/18/2024 7:29:54 PM PST by Captain Peter Blood
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

It would probably be a more interesting fight than the actual Tyson-Paul bout. That was a real snoozer.


4 posted on 11/18/2024 7:31:18 PM PST by fidelis (Ecce Crucem Domini! Fugite partes adversae! Vicit Leo de tribu Juda, Radix David! Alleluia!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

If Kammy takes this fight, will she be slapping Jake Paul in the face at the weigh in, like Mike Tyson did? ///


5 posted on 11/18/2024 7:32:20 PM PST by lee martell
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

Kamala would probably put up more of a fight than Mike Tyson.


6 posted on 11/18/2024 7:32:35 PM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

ROTFL! I found a better job for her ass. Go to Allegiant stadium in Vegas and string up the pizza and chicken tenders price gougers there.


7 posted on 11/18/2024 7:35:19 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Let's Go Brandon! FCS (Schumer))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Captain Peter Blood

If true, not too surprising. I would think running for president is rough on any marriage, good or bad.
She only had three months to pull off this caper, the pressure on everybody must have been incredible.


8 posted on 11/18/2024 7:36:31 PM PST by lee martell
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Captain Peter Blood

Did she catch him screwing another nanny


9 posted on 11/18/2024 7:48:20 PM PST by Sarah Barracuda
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: Captain Peter Blood

So she settled for a Jewish White Dud instead of a puppy in the White House? Yikes. Doug might need a rescue, forever family.


10 posted on 11/18/2024 8:26:31 PM PST by FlingWingFlyer (Let's Go Brandon! FCS (Schumer))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 3 | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

She can always go back to her old job of giving $10 bj’s on the street corner. But since she’s an elderly ho now she can only charge $5.


11 posted on 11/18/2024 9:57:13 PM PST by Newtoidaho (All I ask of living is to have no chains on me.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

That’ll SURELY knock out Netflix’s servers!


12 posted on 11/18/2024 10:06:34 PM PST by dangus
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

It would be a real financial success. I for one would pay BIG bucks to watch Jake Paul beat the livin’ sh*t out of Kamala Harris on national TV.


13 posted on 11/19/2024 12:01:20 AM PST by NurdlyPeon (It is the nature of liberals to pervert whatever they touch.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

I would pay to see that fight.


14 posted on 11/19/2024 2:29:04 AM PST by spincaster (i)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

True to form Dougie, is going to fight Ronda Rousey…..although I hear she fights better than his ex-girlfriends and nannies.


15 posted on 11/19/2024 2:40:39 AM PST by Repeat Offender (While the wicked stand confounded, call me with Thy saints surrounded.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: spincaster

You won’t have to, it’ll be leaked to the internet, before the post fight interview is over.


16 posted on 11/19/2024 2:57:05 AM PST by Fireone (Americans have had enough.)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 14 | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

Well it’s quicker them sitting on the dock of the bay waiting for the ships to come in.


17 posted on 11/19/2024 7:21:07 AM PST by Vaduz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: luv2ski

It would be a very short...but very satisfying event.


18 posted on 11/19/2024 7:39:14 AM PST by Mastador1
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Vaduz
That money has been thoroughly laundered,never to be seen again !
19 posted on 11/19/2024 7:41:06 AM PST by skinny old man (Still lurking and posting after all these years(27 yrs ?)(more ?)(seems like more...))
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 17 | View Replies]

To: skinny old man

Indeed count on it.


20 posted on 11/19/2024 7:48:01 AM PST by Vaduz
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 19 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first 1-2021-22 next last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson