Posted on 11/14/2024 12:00:17 PM PST by simpson96
I knew he voted red. He knew I voted blue. I had hoped the most capable and most inclusive candidate would win. He hoped his idea of a better America would win. He won, and, from where I stand, America lost.
In the aftermath of Tuesday night’s results, still under the bed covers Wednesday morning, I scrolled social media looking for hope. I unfriended a few short-sighted FB friends— no need to continue our digital relationships and witness their selfishness and hate. Then I saw my husband’s post.
“God Bless America. God bless #45, 47.”
It had a few likes, and a few commenters joined him in his celebration. He was downstairs in the kitchen making coffee, and I was upstairs avoiding him. I couldn’t talk to him — or even look at him.
I immediately texted, “I love you, but out of respect for me and all my liberal writer friends, can you please take down that post? Also, tell your family I love them, but I will not be coming for Thanksgiving, and I won’t be hosting Christmas. I need space.”
Shortly after I sent the text, he brought me a cup of coffee in bed.
“I am sorry,” he said, “I understand.”
Did he? Did he really understand what he and so many others in this country had done? I could not forgive him. Not right now.
I spent most of the morning doom-scrolling next to the cold cup of coffee I ignored partially because I was distracted, primarily out of spite. I finally got up, made the bed, went outside into the beautiful sunny day, took a few deep breaths, and then went back upstairs to unmake the bed and spend the remainder of the day in it.
He went to work — I assumed energized by Trump’s victory.
The next day, I finally emerged and listened to Kamala’s concession speech. She reminded us, “Only when it’s dark enough can you see the stars.”
I wrote to my artist friends and told them to keep shining their lights. I wrote to my musician son in college and his songwriter girlfriend. I told them to keep creating. I wrote to my young nieces, who were terrified, and told them I was there for them. I wrote to my beautiful gay cousin and said I loved him and was thinking of him and his partner.
I kept writing.
I received a message from a family member who told me her Ukrainian friend was petrified. Another message came in from an actor friend who said she was afraid that the damage that will be done in the next four years could never be undone. One of my sisters wrote and said she had a panic attack and had to leave work. One of my students rescheduled our afternoon appointment saying she just couldn’t function.
Later that night, I briefly glanced at my husband and found myself not wanting to look into the eyes I love. I hated this divide. I wanted to touch his forearms and feel our connection, but I also felt an urge to punish him and deny him my touch.
“I am sorry about the holidays, but I cannot bite my tongue like I did with Hillary,” I told him. “I don’t want to disrespect your parents or your brother and his family in their home, or our home, so it’s best this way. No scenes. You can go see them. Seriously — I will not be in a room of 15 people who voted for Trump.”
He mentioned our son and his girlfriend, who are coming home for Christmas.
“Will they feel bad?” he asked.
Bad? I think they already feel bad. Really bad, I thought. Instead, I said, “We will have our own small holiday, and it will be fine.”
Will it be fine? I have wondered that since 2016, when I saw my husband’s stubbornness. How could a Latino vote for Trump? How can any of his family members vote for him? Haven’t they believed any of Trump’s comments about immigration? Aren’t they worried about the reproductive safety of the young women and girls in our family? Aren’t they worried about all of the other nightmares that could be headed our way?
I was surprised he didn’t argue about the change in holiday plans. Normally, it would be a bone of contention because of how close he is to his family. Somewhere inside, he must understand what this election outcome means to me. I know he has empathy for me, for which I am thankful. I will hold onto this like a life raft as I try to figure out how we move forward with our marriage.
I know he is a good man and he would do anything for a family member or friend, which makes what he has done even more infuriating and even more painful.
But I will not give thanks and hold hands in a circle with people who voted for a party that wants to take rights away from LGBTQ people. I will not pass the turkey to someone who supports people who have signaled they will cause harm to people with disabilities and the elderly. I will not sit by a Christmas tree celebrating the birth of Jesus and sipping eggnog when I know how many people may now find themselves in grave — even deadly — danger because they cannot get the reproductive care they need. I will not unwrap gifts given to me by people who voted for a party that has talked about building internment camps and mass deportation.
I will keep encouraging my friends and family to continue to hope and fight for this country. I don’t know how or when I can greet my husband in the morning with my usual hug when I wrap my arms around his strong shoulders, smell the intoxicating scent of his spicy cologne and smile, knowing we are one. We are now two, and it is agonizing. Still, I know he is a good man and he would do anything for a family member or friend, which makes what he has done even more infuriating and even more painful.
There is simply too much history and love between us to let this election tear us apart. But it will not be easy to repair the damage that has been done. It will take time, patience, and tough, radically truthful conversations. And I know that I am not the only person in this position. Too many of us have found ourselves here and are unsure of how to move forward.
On Nov. 7, I saw my husband’s post was still up. It had more comments from Americans I believe had made a huge mistake two days earlier. I wanted to tell them all that they were wrong and they had no idea of the harm they caused by making that choice — or if they did know, then they should be ashamed of themselves. I don’t know how they can live with themselves.
Instead, I got up and made my own coffee. I put our clothes in the dryer. I let the dog out. I went back upstairs and got dressed for the gym. I did more of the little everyday human things that we’re forced to keep doing, even though many of us just want to curl up in a ball and cry. But we can’t. We won’t.
When I came back downstairs, my husband was sitting in the living room with his coffee.
I stood briefly at our blue front door — the one I painted last year when I changed all the red in our house to blue. At the time, I thought it was just my obsessive need to redecorate. I didn’t know it would one day read as a protest — or a subliminal message to all who crossed the threshold.
He blew me a kiss goodbye from the living room as he sat drinking from his favorite mug, seemingly oblivious to how upset I was.
I stood at the door thinking about how I could express my hurt. I wanted to say something that would motivate him to erase his error, but I knew if my words were too demanding, or my voice was too filled with anger, it would get me nowhere.
This is a woman’s challenge. This was Kamala’s challenge. I also knew I couldn’t change what had happened — only what happens now. Only what I do now. What I refuse to accept and what I promise to keep fighting for. And to do it all with honesty and love and, yes, anger, too.
I turned to my husband and told him, “I saw that you didn’t take your post down, and that breaks my heart.”
Then I walked out the door — devastated but determined — into the blue of a new day.
In my opinion, those are ALL ATTRIBUTES of a TOTALLY RAT $HIT BITCH!
I challenge this woman to STFU. Write it in a diary, don't drag your family into it and splash your butthurt all over the media.
What the hell is wrong with this cumb dunt?
His son is a grown man living with some chick.
As always, it’s the insane leftist screechers who want to exclude, to cancel, to sacrifice family on the altar of politics and party.
One never hears of a real-life example where a Democrat wins an election and the Republican throws his family out the door, or cancels Christmas, or as happened just this week murders their parents or whole family.
I’m personally still being unpersoned by family who in *2016* flipped out about Trump winning despite the fact that everyone survived 2017-2021 and (so far) 2021-2025 Brandon/Kamel lunacy. We call regularly for special days and continue to be shunted off to VM.
Yeah, my in laws voted Harris. They sorta invited us maybe this year. They are going with a delivered meal (well done prime rib) and we can come if we like and bring a turkey. They also claimed Grandma. They know we support Trump. Think there might be a connection?
We have decided to celebrate on Friday this year.... Also with Grandma. Our meal will be traditional with home made EVERYTHING and yes, a turkey. We actually give thanks and talk at the table leaving our cell phones off. Should be a GREAT THANKSGIVING THIS YEAR!!!
Sure why not!
He lets his wife crap all over Christmas why should'nt you?
I couldn’t conceivably care less about her mental illness.
He did. 🤷🏻♀️
Oh, grow up. Dumbass.
She’s a three decker sauerkraut and toadstool sandwich with arsenic sauce!
A friend of mine grew up in a home like that -- artsy, activist mom & sister. Two family members committed suicide.
Some people here wondered how this woman can look physically attractive. Many of them do; but their personalities make them so repellent.
“Somewhere inside, he must understand what this election outcome means to me. I know he has empathy for me, for which I am thankful. I will hold onto this like a life raft as I try to figure out how we move forward with our marriage.”
That’s as far as I read.
No bitch! Actually, he is tired of putting up with your vapors. Stay at home! He will enjoy the holidays with family.
Actually, this isn’t real. The entire story didn’t happen. The author made it up in her head because she thinks this is the marital relationship most women have when married to a strong male. It makes great political-porn for her readers, but I bet you this never happened.
She has a need for those around her to be in fear, and takes comfort in having allies that are fearful. But her claims that her nieces are terrified and someone's Ukrainian friend is petrified, are unsupported. Imaginary allies created for her own satisfaction, I'd say.
In the left's parlance, they are baseless claims. I'd hazard to say false claims. And since I've averred they are false claims, they are now therefore debunked claims. Baseless, false, debunked, just like that. She's a writer ... why didn't she see this? /s
She has RBF.
“ I was surprised he didn’t argue about the change in holiday plans. Normally, it would be a bone of contention because of how close he is to his family. “
You’re losing him, lady. You probably don’t care.
Oh, fer Pete’s sake. These people need to get a life. My liberal brother is coming for Thanksgiving, as are my Trump-hating daughters and their husbands. We have already agreed that politics is not to be brought up - let’s just enjoy family time.
You women who voted for harris
..I am female, and I have enough sense to not go stupid like you girls do in this generation.
You are so hill bent on being able to not need anyone in your life.. You are the boss..
Yes, and you have lost the beauty of a woman.
If you voted for harris snd if you hate Trump.. You are a dumb woman.. And that is as unattractive as they come.
And no one can tell you anything.. Which means you will remain dumb.
One last comment.. The one thing a successful woman has, is a man who loves her more than any other person. It’s a warm blanket on a cold winter day. It’s the sunshine of a summer afternoon.. It’s the knowing you are important to someone. And more.....
THE BEST THING THAT COULD HAPPEN TO HER IS FOR HER FAMILY TO IGNORE HER, TREAT HER AS A “MEAN” PERSON AND EXPLAIN TO HER THAT TRUMP SUPPORTERS ARE CARING, HELPFUL, GIVING A HELPING HAND....
THESE ARE THE PEOPLE THE LEFT HATES. SAD.
THE BEST ADVISE IS TO STAY AWAY FROM SOME ONE WHO IS SO...EVIL.
*** Then what does she do about the hulking MS13 thug who walks in the patio door?***
Says “Wait, I’m on your side.” while he strangles her.
You are 100% correct, FRiend.
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