Posted on 11/13/2024 2:47:49 PM PST by E. Pluribus Unum
U.S. — In one of the most truly magnanimous gestures in all of human history, the Babylon Bee is officially offering to hire all the employees being laid off by Fake News rival CNN.
"We're not here to gloat. We're here to help," said Babylon Bee CEO Seth Dillon. "Look, the Fake News industry is fiercely competitive, and CNN has incredible talent. We may be rivals, but at the end of the day, we're human beings -- human beings who love making up the news."
CNN announced yesterday that due to massive declines in viewership, several top anchors would soon be let go along with a large number of support staff. "We knew right away that we had to step in to help," said Babylon Bee Editor-In-Chief Kyle Mann. "CNN was such an inspiration to the Bee when we first started. They've been a leading voice in the Fake News sector for decades now. We are proud to be in a position now to help these struggling satire writers get back on their feet."
Pundits across the nation hailed the Bee's offer as "the nicest thing anyone has ever done" and "probably good enough for sainthood." Sources within CNN say several notable anchors are considering making the jump to the Bee as soon as the layoffs are official, including a doughy, spud-shaped guy whose name rhymes with "Frian."
At publishing time, Dillon had also kindly responded to Comcast's offer to sell MSNBC, offering a generous sum of $50 and some gum he found in his pocket.
LOL!!!! Hilarious!!
Love it.
The Babylon Bee Is Graciously Offering To Hire Any Laid-Off Employee From Fake News Rival CNN to clean the toilets, so they can remain close to their "sources".
These are truly great times we live in!
Elon Musk is just waiting for them to go into bankruptcy so he can buy the remains for pennies on the dollar. He can even keep the Signage and Logos the same. Just by calling it Conservative News Network !
Bawaaaah !
Epic
Certainly the CNN “News” people know how to fabricate tall tales and hilarious headlines. Sometimes their headlines rivaled the Bee’s. For instance, I think today I saw “Chuck Schumer warns GOP to be bipartisan.”
“You’re killin’ me Smalls. “ !!
Whoa, I know you're a nice guy and all but don't get fooled into overpaying like that.
Hilarious!
That might be their funniest one ever.
ROTFLMAO!!!!
But.....but.....they’d have to take a heck of a pay cut too......LOL
These guys are great.
Sorry but I would not hire them as cleaning toilets is a real world skill these journalists are lacking.
Ouch!
Swear to God, I spewed Mt. Dew all over my screen! LOL
Definitely deserves a Humanitarian Award for Seth for being so gracious.
LOL
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.