Posted on 11/06/2024 8:48:02 AM PST by dayglored
U.S. — With the polls closed for over an hour now and the tension escalating, Vice President Kamala Harris decided it was time to go ahead and switch to box wine.
"I don't know about Georgia, but my ol' pal Franzia is going for Kamala," said Harris, tapping the box. "Hoo-boy, how long have the polls been closed, an hour and a half? Let's float this puppy."
According to sources, the Harris campaign has commandeered hundreds of high-dollar wine bottles in preparation for the evening, but Harris has insisted on the three-dollar cabernet. "There is great significance to the passage of wine," explained Harris to supporters. "The thing about wine, is, there is great significance. Because, when you think about wine, there is -- wait, I need a refill. Someone pass the box."
Though campaigns have traditionally stored champagne for victory and the candidate's liquor of choice for defeat, Harris reportedly demanded nothing but box wine, to be served in either a Styrofoam or little clear plastic cup. "Come here, you little Merlot, let's snuggle up and watch the returns," said Kamala. "Whoa, look at Florida, going all pro-life! Some babies are gonna make it out of the womb there. Sad. Someone pull the tab and tap another box!"
At publishing time, the campaign had informed Harris it was only two hours after polls closed and maybe she should switch to sparkling water.
She should’ve picked Josh.
Not Shapiro. Josh Cabernet. 😛
All thats left for her now is to do porn.
She needs a bag of pork skins to go with her boxed wine!!!
No more free coke delivered to her WH locker, she’ll have to work for it now.
Reality is starting to hit. Harris has held some form of political office since 2004. Twenty years. That streak is about to end on 1/20/25, and the ironic part is she has to certify the presidential election result.
She has that box on an IV drip.
I was planning on opening up a 30 year old scotch I’ve had for a few years now to celebrate. But I thought... I really don’t want to wake up with a headache and really enjoy the day today without an alcohol fuzz. The sun was out, cold, but sunny, and seeing the meltdowns really made the day all that much better. I’ll save it for inauguration day
And there are probably enough weirdos with weird enough kinks that she could make money on that website that starts with “only” doing it.
Last night was Glenfiddich 18. Inauguration Day will be Oban 14.
L
She should have swilled down NIGHT TRAIN EXPRESS or THUNDERBIRD. It is more her style.
Well, she is known to have Madd Skillz in that department.
OTOH, 60-yo women in porn tend to be relegated to the "Kink" sections.
She needs to “put her head down and get to work.”
Don’t laugh. It saves me a trip to the recycle bin. It’s like Trump supporters-garbage.
same for Ann Selzer, but with vodka
Doug’s gonna have to start hitting up the maid again for a piece, pretty sure the cackler won’t be heels-up any time soon.
rotflol........
You misspelled “whine”
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