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Trump Projected To Win In 50-State Landslide After Appearing In Squirrel Costume
The Bee ^ | Nov 2, 2024 | The Bee

Posted on 11/04/2024 8:50:47 AM PST by dayglored

U.S. — What was expected to be a close Presidential election is now projected to be a 50-state landslide for Trump after the former president showed up to a rally in a squirrel costume.

Honoring the late squirrel "Peanut," Trump delivered his entire stump speech in the costume, clips of which spread across social media like wildfire. Within hours, polls showed a historic swing, with millions of voters switching their allegiance to Trump.

"They're after you — me and Peanut are just standing in their way," said Trump. "That is why today, I am calling for a day of mourning for Peanut. Let all MAGA flags be flown at half-mast today in his memory. On Tuesday, we're going to do this for Peanut, we're going to restore justice to this country, and make America great again not just for humans, but for all woodland creatures."

Thousands of Americans dressed in squirrel costumes began showing up at polling stations, eager to save America on behalf of Peanut. "How would I explain to my children that I could have stood up for Peanut, but didn't," said local man Dennis Hamilton, waiting outside a polling station. "We've got a country to save."

At publishing time, Nate Silver had committed seppuku after seeing his entire prediction model rendered irrelevant by a squirrel.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; satire; squirrel; trump
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We all could use a laugh right about now -- It's The Bee!
1 posted on 11/04/2024 8:50:47 AM PST by dayglored
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To: dayglored
> Nate Silver had committed seppuku after seeing his entire prediction model rendered irrelevant by a squirrel.

Gonna be a lot of that going around tomorrow.

2 posted on 11/04/2024 8:51:24 AM PST by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored

He should seriously do this... today!


3 posted on 11/04/2024 8:52:10 AM PST by fwdude
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To: dayglored

4 posted on 11/04/2024 8:52:38 AM PST by simpson96
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To: dayglored

Great idea! A squirrel costume to accentuate the grave danger Americans face from their “government”.


5 posted on 11/04/2024 8:54:48 AM PST by faithhopecharity ("Politicians aren't born, they're excreted." Marcus Tullius Cicero (106 to 43 BCE))
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To: dayglored

What’s all this about peanut the squirrel? Never heard of it before a couple days ago


6 posted on 11/04/2024 8:55:14 AM PST by enumerated (81 million votes my ass)
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To: enumerated

“Say his name!”


7 posted on 11/04/2024 8:56:22 AM PST by dfwgator (Endut! Hoch Hech!)
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To: enumerated

A New York state goon squad raided a home and murdered a pet squirrel.


8 posted on 11/04/2024 8:57:33 AM PST by cgbg ("Our democracy" = Their Kleptocracy)
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To: cgbg

Say his name!


9 posted on 11/04/2024 9:00:58 AM PST by 38special (The government is ruining our country!)
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To: dayglored

Escape from Psychopathocracy
jameshowardkunstler.substack.com ^ | 4 Vov, 2024 | James Howard Kunstler

Posted on 11/4/2024, 7:33:22 AM by MtnClimber
“Most people do not get a clear opportunity to vote against Communism and prevent a historical evil from taking hold.

We have that opportunity. Vote Trump.” — James Lindsay.
You thought Halloween was over, but somehow the horror show won’t stop, and it’s not so much fun anymore.

Those oversized ghouls, werewolves, and dead souls you erected in the front yard, like shrines to wickedness, represent something truly roiling and moiling around the zeitgeist of this troubled land: the ruling Party of Chaos.
Look at what they have done to you and what they are still doing. Hoaxing you, sucking the life-blood out of you, and lying about everything. Wrecking the country.

Why does it seem that the Democratic Party is in it solely to remain in power? I will tell you: because it controls the money-flows to the vast cadres of a vicious parasitical bureaucracy and its support system of outside orgs that commit crimes and make war on the rest of us. It’s called “the blob” for a reason.

It’s exactly like that monster out of the 1950s horror movies, a shape-shifting leviathan that devours everything in its path with only one purpose, to grow ever larger until it consumes. . . everything.

In my state of New York last week, the DEC authorities sent a swat team to seize a man and woman’s pet squirrel and raccoon and then killed the animals. Why? Because they could.

How is that different from the DOJ swatting and seizing a grandmother for walking through the US capitol building and then stuffing her in prison for the rest of her natural life on misdemeanor charges? It’s not different. They are both demonstrations of deliberate cruelty — and that’s why the squirrel story resonated so widely around the country. You know exactly what it says: we can take whatever is dear to you. . . your pets. . . your livelihood. . . your freedom. . . your life.

https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F64cca466-72db-417a-a1e9-d190cfcab27a_636x360.heic


10 posted on 11/04/2024 9:03:27 AM PST by Grampa Dave (Every Goliath has his David!)
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To: dayglored

Escape from Psychopathocracy
jameshowardkunstler.substack.com ^ | 4 Vov, 2024 | James Howard Kunstler

Posted on 11/4/2024, 7:33:22 AM by MtnClimber
“Most people do not get a clear opportunity to vote against Communism and prevent a historical evil from taking hold.

We have that opportunity. Vote Trump.” — James Lindsay.
You thought Halloween was over, but somehow the horror show won’t stop, and it’s not so much fun anymore.

Those oversized ghouls, werewolves, and dead souls you erected in the front yard, like shrines to wickedness, represent something truly roiling and moiling around the zeitgeist of this troubled land: the ruling Party of Chaos.
Look at what they have done to you and what they are still doing. Hoaxing you, sucking the life-blood out of you, and lying about everything. Wrecking the country.

Why does it seem that the Democratic Party is in it solely to remain in power? I will tell you: because it controls the money-flows to the vast cadres of a vicious parasitical bureaucracy and its support system of outside orgs that commit crimes and make war on the rest of us. It’s called “the blob” for a reason.

It’s exactly like that monster out of the 1950s horror movies, a shape-shifting leviathan that devours everything in its path with only one purpose, to grow ever larger until it consumes. . . everything.

In my state of New York last week, the DEC authorities sent a swat team to seize a man and woman’s pet squirrel and raccoon and then killed the animals. Why? Because they could.

How is that different from the DOJ swatting and seizing a grandmother for walking through the US capitol building and then stuffing her in prison for the rest of her natural life on misdemeanor charges? It’s not different. They are both demonstrations of deliberate cruelty — and that’s why the squirrel story resonated so widely around the country. You know exactly what it says: we can take whatever is dear to you. . . your pets. . . your livelihood. . . your freedom. . . your life.

https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_webp,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fsubstack-post-media.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F64cca466-72db-417a-a1e9-d190cfcab27a_636x360.heic

https://media.babylonbee.com/articles/672678c8c2e4d672678c8c2e4e.jpg


11 posted on 11/04/2024 9:04:56 AM PST by Grampa Dave (Every Goliath has his David!)
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To: enumerated
Never heard of it before a couple days ago

That's because a few days ago he was happily enjoying his squirrely old age until he was hunted down and killed.


12 posted on 11/04/2024 9:05:51 AM PST by Dr. Sivana ("Whatsoever he shall say to you, do ye." (John 2:5))
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To: enumerated

IT all is very recent.

Rescue farm where he had lived for 7 years was victim of 5 hour raid MY NY armed Gestapo and P’Nut the squirrel & Fred the raccoon were removed from the farm & euthanized “for POSSIBLE RABIES”.

TOTAL BULLSHIT.


13 posted on 11/04/2024 9:07:58 AM PST by ridesthemiles (not giving up on TRUMP---EVER)
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To: dayglored
That's a funny spoof! But the killing of Peanut is actually serious Big Government tyranny. Actor James Woods wrote a good piece on it today on X:
This event where armed officers took a pet squirrel from an individual in New York opens a Pandora’s box of the horrors of leftist tyranny. The facts of the incident are disturbing enough: an anonymous instigator over 1,000 miles away reported a humble man who had rescued a wounded squirrel and made a pet of him for years. The informer’s motives in doing so can only be guessed, but the owner of the pet had made the horrific mistake in today’s America of supporting conservative thought. A cadre of armed officials got a search warrant, rummaged through the man’s property for five hours, illegally questioned his wife about her immigrant status, ultimately seizing the pet and killing it without giving the owner any recourse to save its life. Now let’s take a look at the universe in which this macabre horrid little leftist “comedy” took place. In a nation overrun by tens of millions of illegal aliens, crushed by rampant crime and gang warfare, enduring a $35 trillion deficit, soul-crushing inflation, a culture of infanticide and child mutilation, sexual dysphoria, and insanity, and waging illegal lawfare against candidates of another party, New York State spent a full day killing a squirrel, that had been a harmless pet cherished by its owner for literally years.

The event in and of itself was just an act of petty cruelty. As a window into a larger universe, however, it is a fissure in the mantle of our world, signaling a cataclysmic eruption that may well end this nation. The tsunami of rage coming from ordinary and loving individuals was quite frankly astonishing.

Has America in the hands of the lunatic left become a powder keg about to explode? Will the power-hungry Democrats and their media minions spew enough hatred that even the most gentle among us will finally say ENOUGH?


14 posted on 11/04/2024 9:10:16 AM PST by ProtectOurFreedom (“President Trump sells out Madison Square Garden -- Kamala sells out America”)
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To: Grampa Dave
Hey Grampa Dave,

I understand you like posting these long copy/paste comments into all manner of threads, whether they're relevant or not to the conversation.

But do you have to DOUBLE-POST them as well?

C'mon, FRiend, let a humor thread just be funny.

Thanks.

15 posted on 11/04/2024 9:10:49 AM PST by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: dayglored; Grampa Dave

In fairness, I should add, I enjoyed your link to the “Don’t Tread On Me” Squirrel flag. :-)


16 posted on 11/04/2024 9:14:07 AM PST by dayglored (This is the day which the LORD hath made; we will rejoice and be glad in it. Psalms 118:24)
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To: Grampa Dave
Why does it seem that the Democratic Party is in it solely to remain in power?

Because the Left lusts after power for its own sake.

Some men lust after money. Others lust after women, or strong drink, or gold, or land ...

For democRATs, it's purely power. It's the feeling of being in charge, of compelling others to do their bidding, to bow down before them. It's why the likes of Ted Kennedy and Bobby Byrd died in office. It's why Barry Obama won't retire and go away. George Orwell explained it very well through the character "O'Brian" in 1984.

17 posted on 11/04/2024 9:17:49 AM PST by NorthMountain (... the right of the people to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: fwdude

He should stay away from this. A later article on the squirrel tied the squirrel people to their pornographic website.


18 posted on 11/04/2024 9:18:55 AM PST by Cold Heart
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To: ProtectOurFreedom
leftist tyranny.

Leftist tyranny exposed itself with the fascist actions taken by rat governors during the LOCKDOWN.

19 posted on 11/04/2024 9:21:19 AM PST by HIDEK6 (God bless Donald Trump)
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To: Cold Heart

So...?


20 posted on 11/04/2024 9:21:25 AM PST by mewzilla (Never give up; never surrender!)
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