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People Who Would Never Cheat In Elections Horrified By ‘Stop Cheating In Elections’ Bill
Babylon Bee ^ | Jul 8, 2024 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/09/2024 9:30:57 AM PDT by dayglored

WASHINGTON D.C. — Republicans caused outrage and horror today among people who would never cheat in elections with the introduction of a new ‘Stop Cheating In Elections' Bill.

Congressional Republicans insisted that the bill would simply prevent cheating in elections and ensure that they are fair, while people who would never cheat insisted that the problematic bill targeted them.

"I want to be clear. This bill is racist, xenophobic, transphobic, and possibly arachnophobic," Said Rep. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez. "It's not the ‘no cheating' part that bothers us because obviously we would never, ever cheat. But it's outrageous that Republicans would want to take measures to stop us from cheating. Which we never ever do."

In a statement released today, the White House blasted Congressional Republicans for trying to push through a "totally unnecessary" bill instead of much more important bills that President Biden has pledged support for, such as the "No Furry Left Behind" Bill, the "Legalize Crack and Bribery" Bill, and the "It's Not Weird To Date Your Brother's Widow" Bill.

At publishing time, the Democrats were hard at work building Congressional ballot drop boxes to vote on the "Stop Cheating In Elections" Bill and told the press they were "very confident" the Bill would not pass.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; cheat; elections; satire
Look out, it's the BEE !!
1 posted on 07/09/2024 9:30:57 AM PDT by dayglored
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To: dayglored
> ...President Biden has pledged support for, such as the "No Furry Left Behind" Bill, the "Legalize Crack and Bribery" Bill, and the "It's Not Weird To Date Your Brother's Widow" Bill.

Because those are so very important.

2 posted on 07/09/2024 9:32:35 AM PDT by dayglored (Strange Women Lying In Ponds Distributing Swords! Arthur Pendragon in 2024)
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To: dayglored

There’s a lot of truth there


3 posted on 07/09/2024 9:39:00 AM PDT by Indy Pendance (Jesus can't get here soon enough!)
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To: null and void; aragorn; EnigmaticAnomaly; kalee; Kale; AZ .44 MAG; Baynative; bgill; bitt; ...

P


4 posted on 07/09/2024 10:17:50 AM PDT by bitt (<img src=' 'width=30%>)
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To: dayglored
This bill is racist, xenophobic, transphobic, and possibly arachnophobic

I did noy see that it ewas the Bee, but when I saw that, I something was wrong. Aracnophobic is way too big of a word for the bartender.

5 posted on 07/09/2024 10:23:58 AM PDT by Michael.SF. (Pray for Biden: Psalms 109: 8)
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To: All

Biden is not waiting for the tedious rigamarole of “democracy”
to pass a bill saying, “It’s Not Weird To Date Your Brother’s Widow.”

No siree, Biden has an Executive Order ready for that.


6 posted on 07/09/2024 12:17:24 PM PDT by Liz (This then is how we should pray : Our Father who art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name . )
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