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Spooked By Fireworks, Biden Pees On Carpet, Disappears In The Woods Behind The White House
Babylon Bee ^ | 7-4-24 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/04/2024 6:34:53 PM PDT by dynachrome

The president is missing! A source confirmed late Tuesday night that President Biden, apparently spooked by Independence Day fireworks, piddled on a rug before bolting in terror into the woods behind the White House.

The anonymous source said Jill forgot to lock Joe in his crate before the fireworks started, causing him to startle at the loud noise. "He started running in circles, then he peed all over the rug in the bedroom and made a break for it through an open kitchen door," the source said.

"Unfortunately, the President's son Hunter left the back gate open, as he was meeting with a pharmaceutical representative in the alley out back," the source added. "The President bolted off into the woods and hasn't been seen since!"

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: biden; spooked; thebee
LOLOLOL
1 posted on 07/04/2024 6:34:53 PM PDT by dynachrome
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To: dynachrome

“At publishing time, the only thing they found was Vice President Kamala Harris in the woods with a large stockpile of spent fireworks.”


2 posted on 07/04/2024 6:36:36 PM PDT by dynachrome (Auslander Raus!)
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To: dynachrome

LOL, Bee hits a homerun. Take that, New York Times!


3 posted on 07/04/2024 6:36:59 PM PDT by nwrep
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To: dynachrome

I thought Jill put one of those dog collars on him with the Unlimited Range Pet Tracker GPS in it.

Also he gets a shock if he tries to escape her control.


4 posted on 07/04/2024 6:41:51 PM PDT by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls.)
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To: dynachrome

Put a thundercoat on the prick.


5 posted on 07/04/2024 6:45:39 PM PDT by Bonemaker (invictus maneo)
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To: frank ballenger

The on call pet psychic has been summoned to find him.


6 posted on 07/04/2024 6:46:06 PM PDT by cnsmom
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To: dynachrome

The source is the Bee, so of course this is NOT true. In the first place they apparently do NOT know there are NO woods behind the White House. Also the DC fireworks were scheduled to start a little more than a half hour ago. Just before this thread was posted. THe article says the report was confirmed on Tuesday, this is Thursday, and after a long search the President was not found. Nice joke, but absurdly untrue. Two days late and a dollar short.


7 posted on 07/04/2024 6:59:16 PM PDT by gleeaikin ( Question authorityan you provide links)
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To: dynachrome

C’mon man! That’s not the first time this has happened.


8 posted on 07/04/2024 6:59:35 PM PDT by Telepathic Intruder
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To: dynachrome

drew attention to myself laughing out loud


9 posted on 07/04/2024 7:18:32 PM PDT by WeaslesRippedMyFlesh
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To: dynachrome

I’m sure the put a Tractive GPS on him


10 posted on 07/04/2024 7:28:22 PM PDT by griswold3 (Truth, Beauty and Goodness. )
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To: griswold3

He’ll be caught. He’s bound to stop and hump someone’s leg.


11 posted on 07/04/2024 7:38:48 PM PDT by JimmyTheFish
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To: dynachrome

Hahaha. My dogs are on the bed in my dark room. I can just imagine Biden crawling under the bed in the white hut pissing himself.


12 posted on 07/04/2024 7:50:31 PM PDT by Organic Panic (Democrats. Memories as short as Joe Biden's eyes)
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To: dynachrome

13 posted on 07/04/2024 8:13:06 PM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: gleeaikin

I’ll put it in ‘breaking’ next time.

;)


14 posted on 07/04/2024 8:59:12 PM PDT by dynachrome (Auslander Raus!)
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To: gleeaikin

Nag, Nag, Nag...


15 posted on 07/04/2024 11:04:13 PM PDT by mabarker1 ( (Congress- the opposite of PROGRESS!!! A fraud, a hypocrite, a liar. I'm a member of Congress!!!)
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To: cnsmom

Re: The on call pet psychic

Ha.

That’ll complete the scene at the White House.

Add a Biden Whisperer to figure out what Joe means and what Hunter is going to do next. Instead of an interpreter for the deaf there can be someone saying “You know, the thing” means the revised employment figures. “He didn’t mean he was a black woman himself as Vice President.” Lots of work.


16 posted on 07/05/2024 12:32:24 AM PDT by frank ballenger (There's a battle outside and it's raging. It'll soon shake your windows and rattle your walls.)
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To: dynachrome

“Unfortunately, the President’s son Hunter left the back gate open, as he was meeting with a pharmaceutical representative in the alley out back,” the source added.

šŸ¤£šŸ˜†šŸ˜šŸ’ÆšŸ‘Œ


17 posted on 07/05/2024 4:10:58 PM PDT by ViLaLuz (2 Chronicles 7:14)
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