She Helped Her Elderly Neighbor A Few Times, But When She’s Asked To Do More She Closes The Door In Her Face

Twisted Sfiter ^ | June 4, 2024 | Ashley Ashbee

[where's_the_Outrage?]

Beware of emotional blackmail. I often willingly help, but if it became a demand or expected I'd stop helping.

One thing my dad who has since passed did was to try to limit the care my sister and I needed to provide. Often it was aggravating where we had to fix something he did instead of asking us. I can say that for last 6 months of his life I was able to mostly be there for him, a lot of times despite his protests.

[teeman8r]

she should say that she will call social services if she cannot live by herself.

i am for helping out, but there is a limit to the aid.

[V_TWIN]

It’s a fine line between doing for others as we are called to do biblically and getting taken advantage of.

Gotta draw the line at some point...I think this person went above and beyond a long time ago.

[NorthMountain]

i am for helping out, but there is a limit to the aid.

The one giving the help gets to set the limit.

[NorthMountain]

When the person you’re helping tries to guilt-trip you for setting a limit, you’re being abused.

[MtnClimber]

I am guessing that the elderly woman’s husband is glad he is dead.

[Flaming Conservative]

The woman is nearly 90 years old, so, if average, she has a lot of needs. If she has no family, I’d contact elder services. They can help her get meals on wheels or transportation services. If she’s with it enough, she could be taught how to order delivered groceries etc., on line or by phone. But face it, some people will take advantage of you if you let them.

[Chickensoup]

I remember my wealthy great aunt always complaining that the neighbors never helped her out. Carrying things or some yard work....

They ignore me when I say hello.... most likely because her hello came with a would you please?

[teeman8r]

exactly

[where's_the_Outrage?]

From the article:

Recently the old lady’s daughter was visiting and asked me why I stopped helping her mother.

I told her what I said here and she said she has to drive a long distance to come help her mom and begged me to go back to at least picking up her groceries again as it would take a massive chore away.

I said no, she started crying and insisted. I closed my door at that point.

[V_TWIN]

You know the old saying.....the reason men die before their wives is because they want to. Lol!

[InkStone]

Narcissism is VERY COMMON, and narcissists grow worse with age.

[fireman15]

My wife and I have ended up going to outrageous lengths helping people at times. Helping people out usually goes well but sometimes things go sideways. The times when things have eventually gone sideways typically make funny stories at some point.

To me this story sounds like it may be 25-year-old virtue signaling gone bad.

[Fledermaus]

We had a neighbor in the next apartment that was getting physically weaker. He worked but stayed in during Covid.

We’d check on him but he never wanted anything. Once he asked if we had toilet paper when it was hard to get. We had plenty.

We’d get more stuff for him later om. He never asked.

When he died he left us $5,000. We didn’t accept it and gave it to his son’s family.

[V_TWIN]

And whoever wrote that headline is a jackass

[mmichaels1970]

I remember when I was about 8 years old, I agreed to help a senior neighbor do some chores. She paid. It was probably like a quarter an hour, but I was 8.

I did little things here and there and was quite happy as each hour spent was at least one pack of new baseball cards.

One day, she sat me down in an overgrown flower bed in the back yard, full of grasses about 18in high (at least that's how I remember it) and she went back into her house. After making about .5% progress in an hour or two under the sweltering 90 degree heat, I just sat there, broke down, and sobbed uncontrollably.

Poor lady must have felt terrible. She sent me home and I never spoke to her again. I think I rode my bike a bit quicker any time I was passing her house.

While not really related, this article brought that memory back fresh in my mind for the first time in many many decades. Can't believe after all these years, I suddenly actually feel a little bad about it.

[ChronicMA]

Find out if she just wants the company.

Offer to just sit and talk, instead of doing a task.

[metmom]

When the person you’re helping tries to guilt-trip you for setting a limit, you’re being abused.

And used.

[NorthMountain]

Lately, the task of writing headlines seems to have been assigned to mentally retarded spider monkeys.

[John Milner]

When the line is crossed from being helpful on occasion to being bombarded with requests as you enter your building, it’s time to reassess.

This woman either needs to pay for the services or find someone who will.

She doesn’t need a neighbor, she needs a husband. In lieu of that, she needs a handyman.

No way would I allow myself to be badgered like that.

And the daughter should be offering to pay if she wants the neighbor’s help if the mom can’t afford it.