Chris Christie Suspends Campaign To Spend More Time With Family-Sized 12-Piece Chicken Meal From KFC

The Babylon Bee ^ | Jan 10, 2024

[McGruff]

U.S. — The political world is reeling this afternoon after Republican favorite and frontrunner Chris Christie announced he will be suspending his campaign to run for president. The beloved conservative populist cited his desire to spend more time with his family-sized 12-piece chicken meal from KFC.

"I know Americans were dying to vote for me," said the former primary candidate, "but I can't continue to neglect my beloved family-sized 12-piece chicken meal from KFC. I need to get my priorities back where they need to be. I ask that you give me and my family-sized 12-piece chicken meal from KFC our privacy at this time."

The beloved former governor and folk hero then got into his large SUV with his family-sized 12-piece chicken meal from KFC and closed the tinted windows for privacy.

[McGruff]

[dfwgator]

And he can pal around with Obama again.

[DannyTN]

LOL
Is this good or bad for donut shops?
He has more time now, but he won’t be as stressed.

[fishtank]

It’s better to make RINO jokes instead…. instead of his weight.

[Honest Nigerian]

BB probably wrote that obituary months ago. Just took it off the shelf when campaign died.

[fishtank]

I’m a skinny guy, so I’m not taking it personal.

[Rummyfan]

I thought he was a Popeye’s guy lol!

[faithhopecharity]

with a giant pizza for dessert

[SaveFerris]

Somebody HAS to have that picture of Chris Christie chasing the kid with the bucket of KFC

[xp38]

I don’t know. 12 pieces seems kind of small for him.

[Mark]

Do not Dis The Bee!

[dayglored]

Poking fun at fat people is rude, but so is poking fun at someone’s hair, or shoes, or style of dress. And all of those are quite common in today’s social media scene. We have lost all sense of propriety. So we might as well have a good time, pointing and giggling at people.

[Sarah Barracuda]

I knew Christie had dropped out when I heard my Mom yelling at the TV saying “Oh go to McDonalds” LOL LOL

[Sarah Barracuda]

Chrissy was VERY upset to find out that All you can eat Buffets don’t literally mean ALL you can eat..you have to leave some food for other people who paid

[MV=PY]

"Poking fun at fat people is rude, but so is poking fun at someone’s hair, or shoes, or style of dress. And all of those are quite common in today’s social media scene. We have lost all sense of propriety. So we might as well have a good time, pointing and giggling at people."

But don't you dare poke fun at their selection of the 137 available genders.

[Rightwing Conspiratr1]

It’s better to make RINO jokes instead…. instead of his weight.

I detected their sarcasm:
"beloved conservative populist"
"folk hero"

[Nateman]

...It’s better to make RINO jokes instead….

Got any good ones? Besides Jeb Bush ...(please clap!)

[Mercat]

He’ll wing it.

[Nateman]

Chrissy was VERY upset to find out that All you can eat Buffets don’t literally mean ALL you can eat..

It was an all you eat buffet. When they saw him coming they pointed a shot gun at him and told him THIS is all you can eat you POS!

[SamAdams76]

You be here four hour. Please leave.