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Haha: Red Flags When Visiting a New Church [Video]
Rumble Via Liberty Daily ^ | January 8, 2024 | Staff

Posted on 01/08/2024 6:29:12 AM PST by Red Badger

Hilarious video to start off your week!..................


TOPICS: Humor; Religion; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: parody
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To: DCBryan1
Wait? Whats wrong with releasing a bald eagle in church?!

That is only suppose to done at tent revivals.

21 posted on 01/08/2024 7:43:58 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear ( In a quaint alleyway, they graciously signaled for a vehicle on the main road to lead the way. )
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To: MayflowerMadam

When I first got saved, I had ZERO familiarity with King James English. I bought a King James version Bible because that was all that was almost all that was available. Then I bought *The Living Bible* which I knew was not a translation but a paraphrase and read them side by side for along time. It helped me understand Scripture much better.

I used NIV for a while but became aware of the problems with translation in some areas, so switched to ESV and using Bible Hub and looking up the Greek.


22 posted on 01/08/2024 7:46:15 AM PST by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus…)
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To: fwdude

“The KJV-only churches tend to have very shallow academic backgrounds and shallow “seminary” educations. Not saying that academics is everything, but they don’t even put any emphasis on learning and studying the original languages of the Scriptures.”

Well if the KJV was good enough for Jesus, it’s good enough for me! /S


23 posted on 01/08/2024 7:47:46 AM PST by Fai Mao (Strarve the Beast and steal its food.)
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To: MayflowerMadam
I always address my pastor as "Pastor (Last name here)" in the church and at church functions.

However he is addressed by childhood nickname when he and his are at our monthly family get together. Technically he is not family but since our families have known each other for four generations now it is a pretty slim technicality.

24 posted on 01/08/2024 7:49:25 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear ( In a quaint alleyway, they graciously signaled for a vehicle on the main road to lead the way. )
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To: Red Badger

I can no longer find a church that holds communion every week. At most it’s once/month. Sometimes once/quarter. Sometimes just on the whim of the pastor.


25 posted on 01/08/2024 7:54:10 AM PST by ShadowAce (Linux - The Ultimate Windows Service Pack )
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To: fwdude

“Those who know him intimately call him ‘Pastor Keith’. That’s fine with me.”

Too new-agey for me. People who had been members in my dad’s or my uncles’ churches, and known them intimately for 30 years, would never ever be that disrespectful.

“Isn’t it Pope Francis’ after all?”

Using a pope as a baseline for what’s right is kind funny, especially in a discussion that is focused basically on evangelical and fundamental churches.


26 posted on 01/08/2024 7:57:01 AM PST by MayflowerMadam ("A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once.")
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To: Red Badger

Matthew 18:20 GNV

For where two or three are gathered together in my Name, there am I in the midst of them.

I have a KJV, but my Geneva Bible is the one I keep by the bed. :-)


27 posted on 01/08/2024 7:58:07 AM PST by mewzilla (Never give up; never surrender!)
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To: ShadowAce

You can have communion every day with your friends and family. You don’t need a ‘church’...............


28 posted on 01/08/2024 7:59:16 AM PST by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while l aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: Red Badger
Right--I understand that, and we do.

I just wish churches would put it back into worship.

29 posted on 01/08/2024 8:02:06 AM PST by ShadowAce (Linux - The Ultimate Windows Service Pack )
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To: ShadowAce

That is the first sign of the ‘great falling away’ that Paul warned us about............


30 posted on 01/08/2024 8:04:53 AM PST by Red Badger (Homeless veterans camp in the streets while l aliens are put up in hotels.....................)
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To: metmom

Our church is a KJV Bible for the pastor, per our church constitution and by-laws, but the congregation is left to decide for themselves which Bible they want to use. One of our deacons likes the NIV Bible and the pastor will tease him about it good naturedly time to time and that is the extent of forcing the KJV. I myself will use the KJV and look at other translations, including the Blue Letter Bible website to look up specific words and their translations.

Our church does the Lord’s Supper at the beginning of every quarter. And we do have children’s church which is age limited and left entirely up to the parents whether or not they want to send their children to it. I’ve seen our pastor go right on with a sermon with kids crying or screaming, doesn’t seem to phase him.

We don’t make visitors stand up or fill our cards, but before the services members of the congregation will walk around and greet each other and visitors and shake hands, it’s just how our church has always been. Otherwise we are more traditional as church starts with a deacon or assistant pastor welcoming everyone to the church, just a welcome and here’s what’s going on this week. Another thing we like to do is recognize members with birthdays or anniversaries during this time and the choir will sing happy birthday to those present, then singing of traditional hymns, then usually something contemporary for when the offering is taken up(I run the sound and we were without a musician one Sunday and I played the first contemporary song during the offering, (Amazing Grace, My Chains are Gone) and we had choir members getting in the Spirit and singing and eventually shouting, the pastor said in forty years he had never had shouting happen while taking up the offering), then the choir sings a special and goes down to sit in the congregation.

The pastor is introduced by the choir director and he usually just says this is our pastor, first and last name and then he begins his sermon. It may go on for thirty minutes or an hour. We may or may not have an invitation at the end of the service it depends on the pastor and how the Lord is leading him.

On Sunday and Wednesday evenings at the end of the service they pastor will take prayer requests for the sick and those in distress. Sometimes they will request being anointed with oil and hands laid on them for the prayer. The elders will gather around the person requesting prayer and pray.


31 posted on 01/08/2024 9:43:31 AM PST by sarge83
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To: sarge83

Sounds like a great church.

I don’t like worship teams as there’s too much performance involved, and some churches have gone to theater like sanctuaries, which I can’t stand. One church we went to had ear plugs for those who wished them, and another had smoke machines. Just great for someone with COPD or asthma. I was not impressed that the worship was so long that they felt the need to offer ear plugs.

The best worship I have ever encountered has always been in small group settings and is usually softer, gentle music. I don’t like when they try ton hype up the emotions thinking that is being in the Spirit.


32 posted on 01/08/2024 9:52:52 AM PST by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus…)
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To: metmom

Our two big performances of the year are a Christmas and Easter Cantata which the choir sings from the choir loft. The biggest extent of a stage performance is the kids Christmas play and moving the pulpit to sit up for the nativity scene. Otherwise, we have the organ and piano.

We do a monthly singing the last Wednesday of the month and invite groups that might want to sing along with our own. The most you get is an occasional base and guitar set up.

We do have one little old lady that when she gets happy will cut loose with a shout like she’s on the warpath. I always make sure my headphones are off if I think she’s getting happy. We had one little lady who sang in the choir and if she got happy you best look out, she would let fly with her hymnal and then a shout. The other members of the choir would note her and ease over to avoid the hymnal lol!


33 posted on 01/08/2024 11:55:01 AM PST by sarge83
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To: El Cid

I visited a church that didn’t allow any written material other than the KJV Bible inside the doors.


34 posted on 01/08/2024 12:11:35 PM PST by gitmo (If your theology doesn't match your biography, what good is it?)
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To: metmom

I use a “Defined KJV” sometimes.


35 posted on 01/08/2024 1:43:25 PM PST by MayflowerMadam ("A coward dies a thousand times before his death, but the valiant taste of death but once.")
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To: sarge83

I wish more churches would do a worship only night on occasion.

Seems like the worship music time is just to warm people up for the *important* stuff like the preaching and prayer.

But worship itself is just as important.


36 posted on 01/08/2024 1:51:29 PM PST by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus…)
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To: ShadowAce

Try the LCMS (Lutheran Church–Missouri Synod). Not every one has communion every week, but most do, or at least 2X/month. Teaches the Bible, and no women pastors.

https://locator.lcms.org/church?range=0&state=MISSOURI&search=MISSOURI&s=y


37 posted on 01/08/2024 2:27:39 PM PST by Albion Wilde (Either ‘the Deep State destroys America, or we destroy the Deep State.’ --Donald Trump)
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To: metmom

One Sundays we do three songs and an occasional special. On Wednesday night you get one maybe two songs led from the pulpit with no choir and then the sermon from the pastor.

The last Wednesday of the month is devoted to the monthly singing as they call it.

I had to attend my oldest sons church for my grandsons baby dedication and it was nearly 45 minutes of the smoke, drums and repetitive music. The pastor spoke without using the Bible for 15 minutes, and then dedicated the babies without a prayer which I had never seen. They finally prayed at the benediction which my teenage son noted was quite strange and he didn’t care for their lack of prayers and them not using the Bible.


38 posted on 01/09/2024 12:19:41 PM PST by sarge83
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To: sarge83

Sounds more like a social club.


39 posted on 01/09/2024 12:22:58 PM PST by metmom (He who testifies to these things says, “Surely I am coming soon.” Amen. Come, Lord Jesus…)
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To: Red Badger

I maintain the happy snakes we keep in our sacristy.
Gotta have snakes if’n you gots to proof yer faith.


40 posted on 01/09/2024 12:31:48 PM PST by right way right (May we remain sober over mere men, for God really is our only true hope. )
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