Posted on 11/22/2023 8:25:49 AM PST by dayglored
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The nation rejoiced yesterday as smoke rose from the White House, indicating the elderly President has survived yet another year.
"Look! There it is!" said a jubilant crowd of bureaucrats, Chinese spies, and other interested onlookers as Biden's 81 birthday candles were set ablaze and produced a column of thick, black smoke that rose into the horizon above the nation's capital. "The President! He still lives! Rejoice, for our leader's body still draws breath, leaving us free to keep running the government behind his back!"
Sources say the plume of smoke was visible for miles around and could even be viewed from the International Space Station. "We've never seen this many candles on a president's cake before," said one environmental scientist. "This one event greatly diminished the air quality and increased the atmospheric temperatures by several degrees. We're happy our Glorious Leader made it another year, but we're not sure if the planet can take any more of this."
Sources say Biden also walked out onto a balcony and waved to the crowds, further proving the fact that he still hadn't died yet. "Hey, folks! Where did all this smoke come from? Is something on fire? Where's Corn Pop?" yelled Biden before being yanked back into the building by aides.
At publishing time, Trump had promised to use even bigger candles on his birthday cake and create even more smoke once he takes office at 78 years old.
"Look! There it is!" said a jubilant crowd of bureaucrats, Chinese spies, and other interested onlookers... "The President! He still lives! Rejoice, for our leader's body still draws breath, leaving us free to keep running the government behind his back!"Brutal, but pretty much spot-on accurate.
As usual, the Bee is bust-a-gut funny!
WE HAVE A POOP(er).
Yesterday I was certain the Rolling Stones concert tour sponsored by AARP was the Bee.
These days the headlines are so kooky the Bee is running out of topics.
;-)
I know, I had to read the "straight" news articles a few times to be sure it wasn't satire.
> These days the headlines are so kooky the Bee is running out of topics.
Oh, I suspect the Bee will be able to keep pumping out the satire for a good while yet. We have not yet reached Peak Idiocracy although we're making great progress in that direction.
It was not smoke that had that pungent aroma.
Hunter found another envelope.
He’ll live until the life support is unplugged. Hope it was worth it. Hell is... hellish.
With an election coming, it appears that the Bidenskyyyyyy crime family decided to “deep” fry their turkey this year. Or maybe not. They’re up to something.
Whatever drugs they’re using to keep him semi lucid, I would hope to have available if I ever needed it.
LOL!!!
Bwhahaha!
Even President Trump says it’s not Biden.
Way, Way too, too close to the truth!!
All I want for Christmas is for the grim reaper to successfully visit the white hospice.
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