What Will The Mark of the Beast Be? Here are 17 Possibilities

Babylon Bee ^ | November 12, 2023 | Staff

[shotgun]

In 1996, my wife had a job offer to be the executive assistant to the CEO of the Magic the trading card, gathering, whatever company. When she went in for her final interview and when they started showing her around the campus some of the staff were wearing their gaming costumes. She left and never went back. She figured it was a satanic gathering and didn’t care how much money and stock options it came with.

[Liz]

You know.....you always give the greatest advice to us believers.

[A_perfect_lady]

Wearing crocs is, if not the mark of the Beast, at least the mark of a man unlikely to get a date. I mean, you might as well wear a purple speedo and black socks.

[bigbob]

I guarantee you it will not involve the smell of sulphur, but the smell of pumpkin spice.

[JimRed]

I grew up in a Pentecostal church, and it wasn't just Christian rock, but ANY rock music. It was demonized almost weekly. And let's not forget women wearing jeans...

Imagine the furor if they'd had those tight yoga pants back then!

[discostu]

WOTC, Wizards of the Coast, was a notoriously wild place. Not satanic at all. But definitely the inmates got to run the asylum for a few years.

[Liz]

A Calvary Chapel pastor said the Mark of the Beast mentioned in the book of Revelation will definitely be one of these — unless something happens in the Middle East that changes his mind next week:

<><>If you got Starbucks’ holiday cup of peppermint mocha latte, it may already be too late for you.

<><>A Disney+ subscription - Was it really worth it to lose your soul just to watch The Mandalorian?

<><>Ticket stub from Disney’s woke garbage, The Marvels? You have clearly been given over to Satan.

<><> Pokemon Go - Does anyone still play this? Yes. Devil worshipers do.

<><>Sure thing Mark of the Beast: The 666 tattoo the Biden admin makes you get to live here.

[shotgun]

That’s what I remember telling her, but she wanted no part of it.

[discostu]

Which is actually valid. Regardless of the accuracy of her interpretation clearly she would not have been comfortable working there. And you shouldn’t work someplace you’re not comfortable. Even if it’s just because they’re all alpha dweebs and you’re sane.

[Bloody Sam Roberts]

Point of order;
The chonmage (丁髷) is not a 'man bun'. It is the topknot of the Samurai warrior class in feudal Japan. It predates 'man buns' by a millennium.

[rfp1234]

[Jamestown1630]

I have personal experience that it’s the sign of a guy about to miss the brake and run his truck into the side of a brick building.

(Crocs were outlawed in our facility after that...)

[Albion Wilde]

666: The Number of the Beast

[doorgunner69]

“Fanny packs”??

Even if they are used for CCW like mine?

[doorgunner69]

Not sure what that means, but I was raised Catholic.

[Red Badger]

Old joke.........................

[doorgunner69]

My fanny pack has a loaded Glock 30 inside.

Best make sure your shot is a good one.

[Vaduz]

The winner

[lurk]

Man buns are passive aggressive.

[Diana in Wisconsin]

I do what I can to help separate the sheep from the goats, LOL!