Posted on 10/18/2023 7:26:21 AM PDT by Red Badger
Truly, we must thank the Florida Man for being a constant and relentless innovator, someone who isn't afraid to take risks and try new things.
Who else among us would be bold enough to try a new evasive tactic like this? It's bold. It's visionary. It's Florida Man:
A Florida man wanted by the cops tried to throw them off his trail by placing a big sign outside his house, reading: "Johnny Yates does NOT live here!!"
It didn't work.
No, it didn't work. But you tell me: Why shouldn't it have worked? Look at this genius setup!
The cops should've taken one look at that and kept driving. It says it there, big as day: Johnny Yates doesn't live there! What's to argue about?
Cops, however, are ever-skeptical. They're reluctant to believe something if someone tells them. You can understand it in a way. Still, it hurts the heart to see this kind of cynicism among law enforcement:
When the deputies arrived they noticed a note written on a dry-erase board in front of a window that said, "Johnny Yates does NOT live here!!"
Gee…a dry-erase board never lied to us before — should we believe it?
Just a sad sight. Cops mistrusting an honest whiteboard.
After a couple helpings of "surrender smoke" and a quick search with a K9 unit, the police were able to locate Johnny Yates. Amazingly, he was, in fact, "living there," even though the dry-erase board said he wasn't.
And so the story ends quite predictably:
Johnny was arrested and taken to jail.
They should take that sign and put it outside the county lockup, cause Johnny definitely lives there now!
“Surrender Smoke”
LOL!!
What’s this world coming to, when you can’t trust a dry erase board?
Florida man’s golf clubs are a bit dated... I think metal woods were introduced in the early-mid 80’s so those are pushing 50ys old!
Very neat handwriting.
He’ll fit nicely into the License Plate-making group.
Looks like it was written by Johnny’s girlfriend.
I think they were only there to signify that he wanted the cops to keep on driving.
Neat and has sort of an artsy flair about it. Not quite what you’d expect of Florida Man but then he is always full of surprises...
There was a homeless guy at the lake that made a t-shirt that said “Do not arrest this man.”
The PoPo should hang a sign on the jail house, “Johnny Yates is not locked up here!”.
He should have put the sign in front of both his next door neighbors’ homes. Then put one in front of his own home saying “Johnny Yates lives here!!”
Police: “You’re that smart?”
Johnny Yates: “Let me put it this way, have you ever heard of Plato, Aristotle, Socrates?”
Police: “Yes.”
Johnny Yates: “Morons.”
I guess exclamation points don’t carry the weight they used to, he added 2 of them.
Probably his mom’s.....................
Underlined and in all caps. I don’t know how it could have been made any clearer.
Johnny Yates, 41.
for the record, 99% of these “Florida men” are from OTHER states.
The first time I used a dry erase board I used a black magic marker. I think the custodians cursed me out for days!
I like this story-happy outcome. What I am confused about is the writer’s “clever” way of ending the story. His statement makes zero sense-”They should take that sign and put it outside the county lockup, cause Johnny definitely lives there now!”
I get the slant of sarcasm and irony, but he should have stated that they should leave the sign there because Johnny definitely doesn’t live there now. That would be more ironic in my opinion. Just my .02c.
knockknock knock “Anyone home?”
“No- No one here- I promise”
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