Posted on 08/15/2023 7:18:03 AM PDT by Jewbacca
My daughter is marrying in England, rather a bit above our station, and Mrs. Jewbacca I need help on how to write the wedding invitation.
My daughter matched (and mutually liked) with a great kid (man) in England. All agree they are rather wonderful together.
His parents are a bit high born compared to this redneck Israeli family.
We are tasked with ordering wedding invitations, and, while the mother of the groom will approve the invitation and (undoubtedly notice) errors, she is so polite and proper, she may think it rude to tell us we've messed up. We'd like to give it a college try before we ask.
Here is the quandary:
Daughter is doctor and Captain in IDF. Son in law is doctor and Captain in IDF, plus a future baron (yes, seriously)
I am a colonel. Mrs. Jewbacca is an MD.
Dad-of-groom is a (retired) Col in the Royal Marines, a hereditary Baron in England, and a Commander of the Order of the British Empire, which is an earned honor for military service (CME)
Mom-of-groom is apparently a generic "Lady" and an MD
I think Mrs. Jewbacca and I are easy, except for her MD. If she was not a doctor, it would be:
Miriam and Col. Jacob Schmidt
Not sure where (or if) to put her MD. We'd leave it off in Israel.
Daughter is easy:
Captain Sarah Schmidt, MD
Son-in-law is (we've been told and saw on a different announcement for him):
Lord Captain Jacob Smith, MD
In-Laws get tricky:
Lady Mary (MD?) and Baron Colonel John Smith CBE (no comma)
Anyone have a clue? Being informal is not an option.
perhaps they could elope?
LOL, elopement could take care of a lot of issues with weddings......
Be a lot cheaper.
The reception is at some hereditary castle thing that comes with staff, which is a definite perk of marrying aristocracy.
They could be more like Diana and Dodi...who almost got there.
“I’d like to start most formal and let them be the ones to chop it down.”
That’s smart. Much like when in doubt, over-dress for an event. Less chance of being embarrassed.
Ain’t THAT the truth! It would give an indication of the level of impulse control and coping skills. (sigh)
Do they have a secretary or butler that you could consult with? Search for other social announcements that were published about them.
Let me check with my Butler.
Dictionaries used to have a section in the back explaining how to address dukes, marquesses, and other members of the aristocracy. Burke’s or Debrett’s Peerages (books) probably still have such a section (you can trace genealogies in Burke’s). Failing that, contact the British consulate and hope you don’t get a raging anti-monarchist.
“What is a station? Is this a caste system? Or some kind of Euro style nobles and commoners thing?”
There’s a pecking order, official and unofficial of people according to royal titles, government function, money, political power, education, celebrity, and influence.
And probably other things.
We’re supposed to know where we fit in this mess, and not bother our betters.
If his parents are paying for any part of it they should be included on the invitation. If not, their names don’t appear. The most traditional wording would be:
Col. and Dr. first name middle name last name request the honour of your presence (or “pleasure of your company” if not a religious ceremony) at the marriage of their daughter Capt.first name and middle name (only use last name here if different from yours) M.D. to Capt. first name middle name last name M.D. on full date written out, including year, then at place.
You can include reception invitations in a small card inside the invitation or continue the wording: Reception immediately following the ceremony. If the reception is to be later, then it’s Reception at time at place.
Keep in mind that Brits typically have 2 receptions: one following the ceremony and a fancy dinner later that evening, in which case the earlier reception may be on the main invitation, but the later one will be a separate card.
Just ask your daughter’s new in-laws what to do. Just because you’re tasked with the invites doesn’t mean you can’t ask for their guidance. They would probably appreciate it as well.
Excellent idea.
I understand the man’s name should not be separated from his surname, is that correct?
So: “ Dr. and Colonel Mary and John Smith”
One complication I did not mention is this goes out in English and Hebrew, but that varies by recipient.
The butler is the biggest snob of the bunch. Actually the only snob.
Really a disagreeable fellow.
The MIL does have a personal assistant/secretary who is lovely. I may start there.
I thought they were in Scotland.....................
Read a Jane Austen novel before you go and you’ll do fine...............
Our daughter from Ohio married a Brit in Salcombe, England. All I remember from the invitations was this weird line at the very end.
“Carriages at Midnight”
Upon asking my soon to be son-in-law what that meant, he said, “It’s our polite Brit way to say get the F out, parties over.”
Zoom is good but also have them put how they wish to be addressed in writing so there are no mistakes.
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