Posted on 07/19/2023 1:22:07 PM PDT by servo1969
LAS VEGAS — The infamous unsolved murder of rapper Tupac Shakur on the streets of Las Vegas, once thought to be a hit by the Southside Crips, is now believed to be the work of none other than former President Donald J. Trump, who authorities believe acted alone. Trump has been indicted for the murder.
A charge of murder in the first degree was brought by Special Counsel Jack Smith. "Tupac was murdered on Flamingo Road, less than two miles from where Trump Hotel later opened in 2017," he said. "Coincidence? I think not!"
Authorities now believe Trump fired a Glock .40-caliber pistol from the backseat of a white Cadillac while also somehow driving it. The rapper was struck four times in the chest and rushed to a hospital where he later succumbed to his wounds.
This marks the 3rd time Trump has been indicted in the last few months, clearly marking him as a public menace who should not be on the streets.
"Trump is a monster," Special Counsel Smith said. "I'll feel much safer when he's off the streets. What if he comes after Post Malone, next? Not on my watch!"
At publishing time, Trump's poll numbers had grown another 12% in response to the news.
“Not to mention his connection to the murder of Abe Lincoln.”
And the murder of Tsar Nicholas and his family.
Giving Hitler the idea for gas chambers... yeah boy, that Trump been a busy man for a long time.
Or when JFK was shot?
Babylon Bee. At least for now.
Jack Smith says he has a witness that saw Trump getting his pants laundered after the shooting. They had grass stains that the witness claims came from the Grassy Knoll.
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