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D.C. Residents Concerned Crack House On Pennsylvania Avenue Will Drag Down Housing Market
Babylon Bee ^ | Jul 14, 2023 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 07/15/2023 6:47:56 AM PDT by george76

WASHINGTON, D.C. — Local residents and landlords in the DC area are concerned after rumors surfaced that a nearby home on Pennsylvania Avenue has become a dangerous crack house.

"It's just not fair. I work hard to maintain my property, only to have real estate values plummet when this riff-raff moves into the neighborhood," said Carla Biggens, the owner of a middle-income apartment building that offers units at the reasonable price of just $15,000 per month. "I always see suspicious people coming and going from that place. It puts us all on edge. Lord knows what kind of shady things are happening there! Yuck!"

Local authorities confirmed hard drugs were recently found on the premises, but warned they would likely never find the perpetrator because the owner of the crack house pays their salaries. "It's too much to expect corrupt feds like us to do anything about this shady crack house," said a spokesperson for the FBI. "This neighborhood has been going downhill for a long time anyway. There's nothing we can do."

Residents are being encouraged to take their concerns to the next city council meeting where they will be ignored.

At publishing time, DC home values had already plummeted to an average of only 12 million dollars.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; biden; humor; whitehouse

1 posted on 07/15/2023 6:47:56 AM PDT by george76
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To: george76

I almost spit coffee all over the screen reading the headline.

I’ve said it before, I’ll say it again.

The Bee is EN FUEGO! 🔥🔥🔥


2 posted on 07/15/2023 6:50:07 AM PDT by FreedomPoster (Islam delenda est)
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To: george76

i laughed...and then saw THE BEE...love it


3 posted on 07/15/2023 6:56:19 AM PDT by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: FreedomPoster

OUTSTANDING!!!! The Bee strikes again. Sad thing, The White House is NOW not only a “Crack House” but is also occupied by an old pervert, sexual deviant and pedophile who is known to “host” more than a few perverted guests.


4 posted on 07/15/2023 6:57:05 AM PDT by OHPatriot (Si vis pacem, para bellum)
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To: george76

They are having crack parties at the white house. The corrupt FBI and Secret Service make sure that the cameras are turned off so nobody will be identified when they claim to have investigated the party.


5 posted on 07/15/2023 7:03:14 AM PDT by George J. Jetso
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To: george76
Might we start referring to it as Biden’s White Powder House?
6 posted on 07/15/2023 7:06:07 AM PDT by Worldtraveler once upon a time (Degrow government)
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To: OHPatriot

“.. more than a few..” Uh, care to posit a list of those not pervies? I suspect it would be quite short. Including secret service folks — would you trust someone to just standby (literally) when their boss is abusing a child?


7 posted on 07/15/2023 7:06:13 AM PDT by bobbo666 (Baizuo)
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To: george76

Only when it’s occupied by democrats ,LOL


8 posted on 07/15/2023 7:10:32 AM PDT by butlerweave
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To: george76

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! These guys crack me up. This may be first among equals.


9 posted on 07/15/2023 7:20:26 AM PDT by bort
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To: george76

Are they now?


10 posted on 07/15/2023 7:28:10 AM PDT by sauropod (Sun Tzu: “The supreme art of war is to subdue the enemy without fighting”)
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To: butlerweave; george76

“Only when it’s occupied by democrats ,LOL”

The it’s either a crack house or a whore house.


11 posted on 07/15/2023 7:33:23 AM PDT by aquila48 (Do not let them make you "care" ! Guilting you is how they control you. )
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To: george76

Dragging down the housing market is the least of our concerns...how about the fact that they are dragging down the entire country.


12 posted on 07/15/2023 7:34:52 AM PDT by RouxStir (No Peein' in the Gene Pool )
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To: george76

13 posted on 07/15/2023 7:36:26 AM PDT by Fiji Hill
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To: george76
...at the reasonable price of just $15,000 per month.

Got me again.

14 posted on 07/15/2023 8:19:46 AM PDT by Libloather (Why do climate change hoax deniers live in mansions on the beach?)
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To: george76

15 posted on 07/15/2023 9:12:33 AM PDT by red-dawg (They're going to have to pry my gasoline powered car from my cold, dead hands.)
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To: FreedomPoster

I am surprised that this hasn’t caught on. Instead of the “White House”, it is now the “Crack House”. I will refer to it as such in my correspondence.


16 posted on 07/16/2023 12:43:52 PM PDT by silent majority rising
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To: OHPatriot

Time to take the car keys away from “Grandpa”.


17 posted on 07/16/2023 12:44:52 PM PDT by silent majority rising
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