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White House Awards Non-Compete Contract (Safe and Effective Satire)
6/2/23 | RetiredTexasVet

Posted on 06/02/2023 3:46:00 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet

The White House announced the award of a non-compete contract to the Burisma Corporation for the production of a Presidential Walker.

The Presidential Walker is required to be Green Energy compliant and contain an AI guidance system. Although a regular walker would normally cost less than $200 dollars, the Presidential model is expected to cost less than $20 billion dollars when produced to specifications.

Extras expected are a built-in Sippy Cup, speedometer, teleprompter, and other creature comforts. Performance is expected to go from 0 to 1 mile an hour top end.

In other unrelated news, Sam Brinton is being investigated for Nuns habits reported missing at the Los Angeles airport a couple of weekend ago. Surveillance video captured at the baggage area shows Sam skulking about the area when the habits were stolen. Additionally, Mitt Romney reported several pairs of his Magic underwear were stolen at that same time.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor; Society; Travel
KEYWORDS: sarcasm; satire; scorn

1 posted on 06/02/2023 3:46:00 PM PDT by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

built-in Sippy Cup

That’s the kind of thing that really runs up the price.


2 posted on 06/02/2023 3:50:42 PM PDT by 1of10 (be vigilant , be strong, be safe, be 1 of 10 .)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

3 posted on 06/02/2023 4:53:51 PM PDT by maddog55 (The only thing systemic in America is the left's hatred of it!)
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To: RetiredTexasVet

The catheter bag!
Don’t forget the catheter bag...


4 posted on 06/02/2023 5:41:05 PM PDT by SuperLuminal (Where is the next Sam Adams when we so desperately need him)
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To: maddog55

wi a builtin commode...


5 posted on 06/02/2023 5:51:58 PM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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