Posted on 03/13/2023 3:43:27 PM PDT by george76
WASHINGTON, D.C. — In an attempt to avert a major financial disaster in the wake of Silicon Valley Bank's collapse, the Biden Administration held a special meeting with Chinese President Xi to ask him for a quick loan to help bail out the failing bank.
"Hey, Xi old buddy! I haven't seen you since we were pallin' around in the foothills of the Himalayas!" said Biden to the CCP leader. "We need a couple bucks. Just a small loan to bail out some bankers and prevent the collapse of the economy again. Can you do us a solid? We promise we'll pay you back! Please?"
"Pretty please?"
Xi reportedly withdrew his hand from a pot of honey long enough to shake Biden's hand and offer him a guaranteed loan of a few hundred billion. In return, Biden offered up the land in East Palestine, the island of Taiwan, and one of Hunter's paintings as security.
"Thanks, Xi ol' buddy ol' pal," Biden gushed, according to witnesses. "You won't regret this! I'm sure a future president of future generations of Americans will pay you back long after I'm dead!"
At publishing time, several more banks had collapsed, forcing the U.S. to ask Ukraine for some of its aid money back.
Uh, not a joke
Parody and reality are merging ever faster.
The 2nd and 3rd largest bank failures in US history just happened within 3 days of each other.
Barney Frank has been on the Board of Signature Bank since 2015.
C'mon, Man!
Reality should not be so close to satire.
Is he expecting a postal order next Thursday?
Rots of Ruck!
Dear Ukraine, please bail out US banks
Probably can’t borrow more from China. We’re just printing more money.
As an aside, this was the best Babylon Bee ever! Thought it was real!!!
There are lots of personal stories about how the SVB collapse affected people, here is one from the internet. ( Not me ).
I was in an absolute panic on Friday after I heard about the collapse of SVB, my first thought was “How are my kids going to go to college?” and “Will we be able to pay the mortgage?”
For a good 30 minutes I frantically scrolled twitter trying to assess how much damage was done to my finances, and then a realization washed over me in an awesome wave. I do not have any money, and college is garbage.
Then I made a bagel.
Many a true word spoken in jest.................spit.
CAn’t we just sell them Californicate? They have to take the people too or no deal.
The jokes on us, the biggest investors in Silicon Valley Bank are Chinese venture capitalists!
Without a full bailout, Barney and his roommate may have to restart the gay prostitution business.
Oh no! Don’t sell me. I might be able to speak some Chinese, but I’ll never be able to read and write the chicken scratches.
Got me.
Take it out of Fascist Fuhrer Fauci’s retirement check.
Biden “Remember 10% for the Big Guy!”
Xi “ Gotcha, do you have Donald’s mailing address?”
Biden “No I mean me at 1600 Pennsylvania Ave.
Xi “Donald is the only Big Guy that scares me.”
Biden “How about 5% for me and 5% for Donald?”
Xi “Nope, it is all for Donald, I bought your ass years ago and damn sure will not pay for it again. “
Telephone CLICK
“Oh, you guys and your crazy money. What can we give you that you can’t print out of thin air for yourselves?”
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