"The golf clubs were found neatly stacked by a hiking trail in a remote section of Yosemite National Park. Who or what placed them there remains a mystery ... "
Posted on 03/13/2023 4:23:26 AM PDT by sodpoodle
Husband: My wife is missing. She went out two days ago and hasn't come home.
Sergeant at Police Station: Describe her for me. What’s her height?
Husband: Gee, not sure. A little over five-feet tall.
Sergeant: Weight?
Husband: Don't know. Not slim, not really fat.
Sergeant: Color of eyes?
Husband: Sort of brown I think. Never really noticed.
Sergeant: Color of hair?
Husband: Changes it a couple times a year. Maybe dark brown now. I can’t remember.
Sergeant: What was she wearing?
Husband: Could have been pants, or maybe a skirt or shorts. I don't know exactly.
Sergeant: What kind of car did she go in?
Husband: She went in my car
Sergeant: What kind of car?
Husband: BMW, can’t remember what model. It’s blue.
Sergeant: Was there anything of value in the car?
Husband: (sobbing) Yes, my golf clubs.
--Titleist TS3 9 degree driver with Tensei Orange TX flex CK60 with 74 Tungsten Prepreg carbon fiber shaft
--Titleist TS3 15 degree Fairway wood with Hzrdus 6.5x 76g shaft
--Titleist 3-4 718 TMB irons with Nippon modus 120 x shafts
--Titleist 5-8 AP2 irons 5-50deg with Nippon modus 120 x shafts
--Titleist Vokey Sm8 52, 56 & 60 degree wedges
--Scotty Cameron Newport 2.5 35 inch putter with Superstroke Pistol GT Tour Skull grip
--Titleist mid-Staff bag
--Nikon range finder
--12 x pro V1s
--3x Titleist Player's Golf gloves
--Titleist towel
--Alignment sticks and Stitch leather cover
--Dubai Hills by Jumeirah bag tag
Sergeant: So sad, but don’t worry, sir. We'll find your clubs.
--
He only noticed she was gone at dinner time !
My replies to piss off feminists..
I have nothing against women, I think every man should own one!
A woman’s place is in the home and she should go there immediately after work.
After those two it’s time to depart before they explode.
If they still are not heated...
A woman’s job is to keep her husband’s testicles empty and stomach full.
I’m not a chauvinist, just an antagonist.
After those two, they will find you.
I know you don't have a visible home page, but they will track you down.
You had better make sure your will and other legal papers are in order, after all, since there is no clear definition of "woman" you won't even see'em coming.
Hope you're well. Love ya...Sac
Thats a spin on the old “don’t let your man leave the house hungry nor horny.”
Disclaimer: I’m a XX chromosome member.
I’d go after tired&retired, but I have to make a stop at my bank this morning.
Hope you’re not banking at SVB. If so, you can forget about going to the bank.
Works both ways. I can tell you what is in my purse, and I would win on Monty Hall’s Let’s Make A Deal.
Love yah Sac - I should respond to comments on threads, but it’s tough being old and tired;)
Stay safe and God bless.
Sod
And men wonder why so many of us actually chose cats and wine.
My dear husband always throws in the “I agreed to better or worse...but there was no mention of extra 30%”
I would sooner the species diminish in number to the point of questionable survival than condemn a fellow man to a life bound to a woke banshee.
I can only hope that conservative women and men continue to find worthy partners and raise the next generation to recognize and avoid disastrous leftist propaganda.
The woke disease can only perpetuate itself via recruitment. Like some sort of foul parasite. Deny them…everything, give them nothing.
I’m a man...
But I can change...
If I have to...
I guess
Proverbs 21:9: It is better to live on a corner of a roof than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
Proverbs 21:19 It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and irritating woman.
Proverbs 25:24: It is better to live on a corner of the roof, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.
Proverbs 27:15: A constant dripping on a day of steady rain And a contentious woman are alike;
In other words, “When deciding whom to marry, choose wisely.”
That reminded me of this old classic:
A married couple are sitting around one evening, and the wife asks her husband, “Dear, if I were to pass away, do you think you’d ever remarry?” The husband says, “No, dear, I don’t think I would. Nobody could ever make me as happy as you.”
She says, “But I hate to think of you all alone.” He reassures her again, but she won’t let it drop. Eventually the husband allows that there’s a faint possibility that he might, just might, consider remarrying after a long time.
This isn’t what she wants to hear, and she asks, “Would you still live in this house, with all of the memories?” The husband points out that the house is close to his job and family and the mortgage is nearly paid, so yes, he’d most likely stay there.
She’s getting a bit upset, and asks, “Would she drive my car?” The husband says that the car is fairly new and paid off, and there wouldn’t be much point in buying another.
By now the wife is getting pretty steamed, and says, “I suppose the b*tch will be using my golf clubs, too!”
Her husband replies, “Of course not. She’s lefthanded.”
Reminds me of the old joke:
A guy calls his friend and asks how he’s doing, and the friend, an old married man, says, “I’m ok, but I think my wife died.” This seems a little odd, so the guy asks his friend, “Well, what makes you think that?” And his friend replies, “Well, the sex is the same, but the dishes are starting to pile up.”
Was this Biden’s new pick to head the FAA?
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