Posted on 02/24/2023 1:19:51 PM PST by Red Badger
Just when you thought it was safe to go back in the woods... Hannah Hoekstra as Elsa in Cocaine Bear, directed by Elizabeth Banks. Universal Cocaine Bear! There's a bear! It does a ton of cocaine! Movies! Cocaaaaaiine Beeeeaaaaaaarrrrrrrrrr!
That's it, that's the review!
Want more than that? I'm not sure this movie has much more to offer, but seeing as it's in theaters now I'll give it a shot. Astonishingly, this gory comedy-horror flick about a bear that does cocaine is based on a true story. This probably leaves you with a ton of questions: When and where -- and how -- did this happen? What did the bear do? How did it roll up a banknote with those claws?
The answers are that it happened in 1985 in Chattahoochee National Forest in Georgia, when a drug smuggler threw millions of dollars of Colombian marching powder out of a light aircraft and scattered bricks of coke across the wild woods. In real life, no one knows what the bear did when it got high, but the movie imagines a highly entertaining drug-crazed killing spree. And obviously the bear didn't use banknotes to snort the coke, it just ate kilos of the stuff a brick at a time. Although those claws would be pretty good for racking up multiple lines in one go.
The film is directed by Elizabeth Banks (and produced by comedy filmmakers Phil Lord and Christopher Miller). Aside from acting, Banks directed Pitch Perfect 2 and a poorly received Charlie's Angels reboot. Following a comedy and an action movie, schlocky horror is as logical a career progression as any, I guess.
Cocaine Bear's rapid-fire quirkiness and carnage are great fun to watch, especially after a beer or two. Somewhere between a slasher movie and a low-budget creature feature, it throws an ensemble of humans into the woods to face off with a drug-demented black bear. Banks' zingy direction and blackly comic dialogue keep the laughs coming, with the ever-looming threat of a coked-up murderbear giving it that midnight movie frisson. The result is a gloriously silly, gloriously gory bearsploitation B-movie that delivers pretty much everything you want from a movie called "Cocaine Bear." You'd be hard-pressed to find a better Friday night moviegoing experience than this unholy mashup of Jaws, Deliverance, Friday the 13th and Yogi Bear.
The '80s outfits, needle drops and synth-driven score from Mark Mothersbaugh (formerly of Devo) add to the tacky retro feel. But possibly the most authentic aspects of this homage to old-school exploitation flicks is the fact it is, ever so slightly, just a bit crap. The humans mostly mill about in the woods until it's their turn to face the bear. One of the most vulnerable yet resourceful characters disappears for most of the movie, which deprives us of spending time with them while completely failing to create any suspense about their fate. This search element of the movie would work probably be more involving if it was a chase that required running/fighting/outsmarting of the bear. Instead there's more leisurely wandering in the woods than there should be in a movie that's named, if I may remind you, Cocaine Bear.
The ending really peters out, but most of all these characters are thinner than a line cut by a particularly stingy drug dealer. The cast members know exactly what kind of movie they're in, at least, gamely building out their country-dumbass characters by delivering turns broader than a barn door. Modern Family's Jesse Tyler Ferguson, for example, bases his character entirely on a ludicrous wig and fake mustache, making his character simultaneously not enough and too much.
A cop and three lowlifes lurk in the woods in a scene from the movie Cocaine Bear. O'Shea Jackson Jr, Ayoola Smart, Alden Ehrenreich and Ray Liotta poke the bear.
Universal
Alden Ehrenreich does his best as a grieving drug smuggler, although he spends most of his time standing around behind O'Shea Jackson Jr. Jackson's character arc goes like this: starts off a bit grumpy, gets increasingly more grumpy.
A more relatable character is Isiah Whitlock's good-hearted but tough cop. No idea if anyone else feels like this while watching Cocaine Bear, but a big part of his appeal is that the former The Wire actor seems on the verge of saying "Sheee-iiitt" most of the time he's on screen. Well, if you saw a bear on cocaine, you probably would, wouldn't you.
There's very little to the villainous drug kingpin driving the action, but the late Ray Liotta brings a snarling, sweaty authenticity just by virtue of being Ray Liotta. The movie has very little to say about the rights and wrongs of the war on drugs (besides sniggering at '80s-tastic "Just say no" ads), but Liotta's furiously desperate performance flicks at the idea that dealers are addicts in their own way, compelled to act in destructive and self-destructive ways by a cycle of dependence and degradation which evokes -- holy shit it's a bear! On cocaine!
A tight 95 minutes of Paddington's cokehead cousin on the rampage, Cocaine Bear is the funny, gory romp we need in a landscape of samey superheroes. Perhaps ironically, considering the amount of recreational drugs flying about, there isn't much substance to it. But what there is, and I cannot stress this enough, is a bear on cocaine. And isn't that what the movies are all about?
I bet that bear is no match for sharknado!
I saw it last night. Way better than what I thought it was going to be. Add a little T&A and this would be reminiscent of a good ol’ 1980s slasher, but with a bear and better writing and way better gore effects. It was pretty good. Several “Holy Chit!!” moments!!
The commercials look dumb as hell......damn shame after al his great work a movie like that was Ray Liotta’s last.
Everybody complaining Hollywood has no original ideas should go see this. Cause Hollywood is actually stimulus response. When the same ol same ol makes money they keep making it. When something comes out of left field and makes money, they’ll do that. You don’t get much more left field than Cocaine Bear.
It’s a comedy!.....................He left ‘em laffing!...........
I hope so.......I’ll wait for it on redbox.
Was it funny or just gory?....................
The trailer cracked me up. “Bears can’t climb trees!”
oops.
I don’t typically watch movies or TV, but I thought this one might be a mindless fun movie without an lgbtq+ agenda
I laughed at the original Sharknado and maybe one of the sequels.
but then I also thought Ninja III The domination was pretty good: trailer from 1984 below
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JaFLDHu7IUU
Just returned from the matinee. I took my boys, 11 and 13, as they were begging to see it.
Rated R for language and gore, but the gore was comedically over the top. Blood and severed limbs everywhere! There was no sex or nudity.
The ambulance scene was great!
All in all, it was exactly what I expected it to be. Elizabeth Banks did a good job directing it and keeping the pace moving.
Devo’s Mark Mothersbaugh provided a very 80s-sounding synth-heavy score (the film is set in 1985).
And even at 46, Keri Russell still makes my heart melt.
I Saw it ladt night.
It was funny, but usually a comedy has less dismemberment.
Go see it for some stupid fun.
LOL!!!!
ok. I just watched a trailer.
She does look a little funny. :)
No.
It is not.
The movie is pure fiction from the mind of a weirdo.
Once upon a time a bear ate some cocaine. It died.
That is the true story. The true story is a thirty second short.
It is like saying "Armageddon" is based on a true story because a meteorite once hit the earth.
Yes. Sanity!
I’m going to wait for the sequel; Methhead Mountain Lion.
This actress was freakin' beautiful!
***SPOILER ALERT***
She dies in the opening scene (as the pic in the OP alludes to).
Wondering why they chose a Dutch actress to play a Norwegian?
Yeah, who cares?
Every freakin' movie that comes out today is a comic book, at least Hollywood found something relatively original to film.
Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.