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Man Regretfully Informs Credit Card Company That Yes, He Is Actually Eating At Arby's For The Third Time Today
BabylonBee.com ^ | 2-13-2023 | Babylon Bee Staff

Posted on 02/14/2023 6:55:56 AM PST by servo1969

KALAMAZOO, MI — With sheepishness in his voice and a spot of Three-Pepper Sauce™ on his collar, local accountant Zed Filbertson was seen on a call with his credit card company, informing them that yes, regretfully he was actually eating at Arby's for the third time that day.

The credit card company's fraud detection unit expressed skepticism at Filbertson's claim.

"I assure you, I'm sitting in a booth at the 5th South Arby's right now, finishing up my curly fries and pondering my life choices," insisted Mr. Filbertson as he finished up his curly fries and sighed audibly. "I understand how this situation could be flagged as fraudulent, but it is, in fact, very real. *urp*"

As the call ended, Filbertson thanked the customer support rep for suggesting nearby restaurants that offered lighter menu options such as salads. He was then seen exiting the Arby's, hopping in his car, then entering the drive-thru for some curly fries and a Jamocha shake.

At publishing time, Zed Filbertson was overheard arguing with an Amazon.com rep confirming that his 8-quart order of pickled pig's feet was not a mistake.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: arbys; babylon; credit; haha; satire

1 posted on 02/14/2023 6:55:56 AM PST by servo1969
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To: servo1969
regretfully he was actually eating at Arby's for the third time that day.

Ladies and Gentlemen, I implore you: Do not do this. Leave this sort of thing for fiction and satire.

Your intestines will thank you. So will the noses of all the people around you.

2 posted on 02/14/2023 7:04:23 AM PST by NorthMountain (... the right of the peopIe to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: servo1969

They got me!

(Arby’s does have the best curly fries!)


3 posted on 02/14/2023 7:05:05 AM PST by MortMan (You better bring yours, when you come to take mine. - Creed Fisher)
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To: servo1969

Ooooh, burn, only with me was Chick-fil -A


4 posted on 02/14/2023 7:05:07 AM PST by drSteve78 (Je suis Deplorable STILL )
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To: servo1969

They almost got me! Then I got here: “Filbertson thanked the customer support rep for suggesting nearby restaurants that offered lighter menu options such as salads.”


5 posted on 02/14/2023 7:06:37 AM PST by MayflowerMadam (Stupid is supposed to hurt.)
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To: drSteve78

But even as efficient as their drive thru is who would want to sit in it 3 times in the same day?


6 posted on 02/14/2023 7:15:00 AM PST by Kartographer (“We Mutually Pledge To Each Other Our Lives, Our Fortunes And Our Sacred Honor”)
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To: drSteve78

But even as efficient as their drive thru is who would want to sit in it 3 times in the same day?


7 posted on 02/14/2023 7:15:18 AM PST by Kartographer (“We Mutually Pledge To Each Other Our Lives, Our Fortunes And Our Sacred Honor”)
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To: drSteve78

But even as efficient as their drive thru is who would want to sit in it 3 times in the same day?


8 posted on 02/14/2023 7:15:19 AM PST by Kartographer (“We Mutually Pledge To Each Other Our Lives, Our Fortunes And Our Sacred Honor”)
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To: servo1969

Mmmmmmm. 8 quart order of pickled pigs feet.


9 posted on 02/14/2023 7:18:39 AM PST by glorgau
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To: NorthMountain

I avoid this problem by paying with cash at fast-food places.


10 posted on 02/14/2023 7:21:10 AM PST by Verginius Rufus
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To: Verginius Rufus

Cash payment does not reduce the gastro-intestinal problems associated with thrice-daily Arby’s.


11 posted on 02/14/2023 7:33:05 AM PST by NorthMountain (... the right of the peopIe to keep and bear arms shall not be infringed)
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To: Kartographer
8


12 posted on 02/14/2023 7:35:36 AM PST by servo1969
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To: servo1969

” I’m sitting in a booth at the 5th South Arby’s right now, finishing up my curly fries and pondering my life choices,”

Ouch!


13 posted on 02/14/2023 8:10:34 AM PST by BenLurkin (The above is not a statement of fact. It is either opinion, or satire, or both.)
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To: servo1969
As much as I like Arby's beef sandwiches, I get the "Chicken, Bacon, Swiss Sandwich" with curly fries...every single time.


14 posted on 02/14/2023 8:20:09 AM PST by moovova ("The NEXT election is the most important election of our lifetimes!“ LOL...)
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To: NorthMountain

At least go to Taco Bell for lunch to clean yourself out.


15 posted on 02/14/2023 9:19:22 AM PST by seowulf (Civilization begins with order, grows with liberty, and dies with chaos...Will Durant)
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To: MayflowerMadam
Didn't they use to have salads?

Have to admit, the garlic ribeye looks pretty good.

16 posted on 02/14/2023 9:22:00 AM PST by Harmless Teddy Bear (The nation of france was named after a hedgehog... The hedgehog's name was Kevin... Don't ask)
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