Posted on 01/09/2023 1:56:08 PM PST by Tolerance Sucks Rocks
WASHINGTON, D.C. — After a week of grueling votes for Speaker of the House — 15 in total — Kevin McCarthy was finally handed the people's gavel and took his rightful place as Speaker. He lifted it up to the raucous applause of both Democrats and Republicans, signaling that the week of Congressional inactivity was over and the long national nightmare of taxing, spending, and corruption could finally begin.
"Finally, we will get down to the people's business of stealing all their money for our pet projects, making backroom deals, and holding meaningless investigations where we yell and point angrily at people to get some sweet sound bytes for our reelections," said McCarthy to the assembled warmongers, rapists, and half-dead geriatrics in the room. "Our long congressional nightmare is over, and the long national nightmare is finally here! Huzzah!"
Those in the crowd who were still sober enough to stand then stood and cheered.
Experts predict that business as usual will resume first thing Monday, as politicians give portentous speeches to empty rooms, have important meetings with weapons manufacturers, and attend coke orgies. "Americans are overwhelmingly pleased to be finally achieving a state of normalcy in Washington again," said one pollster.
At publishing time, Congress had already authorized another $100 billion to Ukraine.
(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...
Some of them, it turns out were not.
National nightmare?
It took a real drama queen write this.
You’ve been had.
BABYLON BEE SATIRE ALERT!
Please add some indication of that to future thread titles, many Freepers are being confused during this fast paced time. Thanks.
No you’ve been had if you think it’s just the Bee saying this? Pay attention slick!
____________________________________________________
This long national nightmare is finally over.
IT’S OVER: McCarthy elected House Speaker on 15th try, amid tense night of Republican chaos
https://www.amny.com/politics/mccarthy-elected-house-speaker-republican-disarray/
i thought satire was supposed to be funny and not quite true
That’s exactly the headline I would expect to see on an MSNBC editorial. Not satirical enough. :)
LOL...Someone gets it.
Should be “continue” rather than “begin”
The BB now is mainstream news.
>> You’ve been had.
lol — happens to the best of us
The Bee, or not The Bee.
That is the question.
The Bee tells the truth in the style of humorous satire.
Weak recovery. No better than 3 out of 10.
America’s newspaper of record has spoken.
It’d bee friggin hilarious if’n it wasn’t so true.
It appears the Babylon Bee has accidentally committed News Reporting.
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