Posted on 01/04/2023 9:56:49 AM PST by Lazamataz
Recently, I lost a friend of over 40 years. It was his choice to terminate our friendship.
We had known eachother since college. We reconnected on Facebook for many years, about 12, and rather suddenly tore into me for a variety of criticisms.
A little background on him: He recently lost his wife of 30+ years then promptly got covid. I offered my condolences and told him he could reach out for anything at all. Then, upon hearing nothing back, I left him be.
I noticed him corresponding more and more with a younger Facebook girl. No worries, not my business.
I wrote a simple little post about Jesus not returning anytime soon and this girl (I'll call her Amy) got into a big tirade with me and other people, expressing she hated religion, didn't believe in Christ, and called people who did a 'disease' and a 'pestilence'. I didn't much like that, unfriended her, and eventually blocked her. In the meantime, my old college friend expressed some of the same sentiments, even tually posting outright blasphemes. Told him I was none too fond of all that.
Well, he responds with all sorts of attacks.
I'm "too long-winded' and he never reads my political essays." Ok, fine.
I'm "occasionally funny but I try too hard." Actually, it's quite the opposite. I post what makes ME laugh. If you laugh, fine, if you don't, that wasn't my intent anyways.
I "think I'm so damned smart." I'm aware I'm slightly above average but there are plenty of people smarter than me.
I "slept with his college girlfriend Joyce." Um, no. Joyce was exceptionaly beautiful and I have always been average looking. Even if I had been inclined to try, she never would have even considered me.
All this was out of left field. No idea what provoked his attacks and his decision to terminate our friendship. I did find out that this Amy chick apparently was his go-to person in dealing with the grief of losing his wife. She apparently considers herself a Wiccan witch. Not healthy, but not my business.
So I am left with a friendship of over 40 years, destroyed. I have experienced some stages of grief over it. But I will (and I have to) accept it.
I’ll go out on a limb and guess she only hates Judeo-Christian religion.
Hang in there FRiend!
“No idea what provoked his attacks”
Satan.
Too much work.
Dear Laz:
I can promise you that you are not the only one suffering loss with regards to relationships and just about everything else going on in this sad, sick, and depraved world.
Sometimes God gets rid of people in our lives for various reasons. I had to finally disavow of one of my 30 year friendships because the friend I once knew and loved refused to drop his 20 year old mentality when it came to life.
You have a lot of friends here - including me, even though we don’t converse much.
Jesus is a great divider of people. You either believe who He is or you don’t.
For those who love Him, we’re going to look back on this life as a minor inconvenience. And you’ll have friends who treat you better than family 100 times over who will truly love you - FOREVER!!
God Bless You FRIEND! And Happy New Year!
Revelation 21:4
He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.
I had some people who I thought were friends who I had to step back from over the past few years. During Trump’s presidency and during Covid, they all went nutso. I realized they would sell me out as a conservative and Trump supporter for payment of a $10 Walmart gift card if asked to do so.
Loss makes many angry and they act out. Maybe he’ll eventually find peace and reach out to you someday.
You can only control yourself, not others.
Still sucks, sorry to hear that.
Even before I got to this part, I was thinking, "it's the girl."
Just pray for your friend. Be the faith that he doesn't have. And keep your distance.
Definitely block/unfriend this chick. She's poison. The evil in her wants to lure as many as possible into the pit.
What's more, Amy is probably taking him for a ride.
“I think I’m so damned smart.”
I think you are one of the smartest people on FR. I’ve learned a lot from you over the years and I appreciate how humble you can be when you’re delivering pearl of wisdom to this fellowship of ours.
The problem some people have is that they resent it when others are smarter than they are. Your college friend and his mistress are emblematic of the insanity of the left that is demonstrated whenever they come into power: the first thing they do is to kill anyone smarter than they are.
The best you can do with such people is to wish them well and forget their names.
It’s hard when someone seemingly throws you away for no good reason.
My best friend (J), his brother (R), myself and his brother’s friend, (K) golfed together once a week. This was a standing thing for years. Before that, I had done many things with R, he and his wife came on vacation with us, etc.
J is left of center, but avoids politics.
R is much more left and is proud of it.
K is a communist.
I don’t bring up politics, but I don’t back down. One day, after golf, K started on politics... I told him it was a bad idea. He continued on. I didn’t go ballistic, but I did raise my voice a little and state my opinions. A couple days later J told me R couldn’t handle my anger and didn’t want to golf with me anymore. Really? A decades long “friendship” discarded over a disagreement?
So I totally get what you’re feeling. And I dislike liberals a little more than ever.
i can relate LAZ. I had friends when I was in grad school. but when i finally regained my senses an returned to my conservative roots and then openly supported Trump they want nothing to do with me. Oh well i survived, not sure how they are doing but here we are all friends! Well some more than other. BTW, the five gates of hell are our five senses, I SUSPECT that this woman moved in on his senses when his wife passed, he thinks that means she is here for him, but in truth if she is truly wiccan she is member of the opposition. So, I HOPE it ends well for him. But sometimes you have to knock the dust off your Birkenstocks and move on! paraphrasing Jesus there. LOL
LEX
I am sorry to hear of your loss. Grief hurts.
My prayer is that Heavenly Father will fill this hole with something or someone wonderful.
Time heal all wounds.The girl will be gone and you will be friends again.Am I ever wrong.Dont answer that.:) ((((hugs))))
At a particularly low point in my life 20 years ago, my beloved father told me that my big problem was associating with people socially who constantly criticized me, put my family down, and took monetary advantage of my goodwill. His very succinct advice was: “Get rid of those people, and do it now!” The best advice I ever received and my life changed dramatically for the better; sometimes we can’t see the forest for the trees even when it blocks our path.
If he reaches out I will be either unreceptive, or accept at arms length. I won't reinvest into something that spectacularly failed. That's the reason I very rarely give a woman a second chance, either.
Well, at least you know if she's a good witch or a bad witch. That can come in handy.
Losing a spouse can change a person drastically.
It did my dad when my mom died in 1987.
It’s possible your “exfriend” may blame God for the loss of his wife......and by extension you as well.
A friend in my men’s church group shared a similar story recently.
Someone he knew that was a nonbeliever lost a family member and lashed out at my friend almost immediately saying “where is YOUR God now?”
Sometimes all we CAN do is pray for them.
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