The Barbie movie looks like a cross between worthless derivatism and weird gay camp. A perfect movie for the current garbage era of cinema.

Not The Bee ^ | Dec 16, 2022 | Holly Ash

[Red Badger]

I don't mean to get you too excited, but the newest clickbait trailer for a movie based on a 60-year-old brand just dropped:

TRAILER AT LINK.........

Wow, that just looks so bad.

Which is really surprising, you know, because I figured a loud, unsubtle movie made for nostalgic Gen Xers and Millennials about characters that have already existed for decades would be top-shelf!

Let's go over what's obviously really lame about this movie:

The 2001: A Space Odyssey sendup at the beginning. Boring, trite, overdone. Kubrick made that movie in 1968, which means it's almost as old as the Barbie product line itself. Younger viewers won't get the reference and older viewers have seen it parodied 3,500 times already. Completely played-out and unoriginal. So many movies these days are bereft of originality and just resort to clumsily standing on the shoulders of giants. Pathetic. The corny, garish set design. Of course, it all looks convincingly like a Barbie playset — big, loud, pink, plastic. That's the point. But you can imagine a more boring take on Barbie than just recreating the Malibu House on a budget of $100 million? Rumor has it that part of this movie will involve Barbie and Ken venturing out into the "real world;" if so, we can most assuredly expect an endless stream of lame jokes wherein the doll-people encounter things like toilets and one-story houses and kitchens that actually function. The LGBTQ/feminism vibes. This movie will almost certainly be hip-deep in LGBTQ stuff — gay dolls, gay camp jokes, whatever. It also looks like it will shoehorn some insufferable feminist dirge in there, as well. I mean the trailer opens up with little girls smashing open their baby dolls, literally splitting porcelain baby heads open on rocks. This is not a subtle message. This is going to be a bad movie. Save your money and don't see it. Buy a nice old-fashioned Barbie doll for your daughter instead.

[pepsi_junkie]

Having a daughter and having to suffer through all the low budget girly movies when she was little, this looks pretty much like they took one of those and gave it a budget. Cheesy intro notwithstanding, it seems pretty par for the course. Of course those movies I saw my kid watching (over and over ad over) were from 10 years ago so not totally over the top woke. That’s the wild card here. But preview doesnt really suggest wokeness.

[Impala64ssa]

“ I remember there was a pull cord on the back and if you pulled it, Barbie would say things like “Let’s Go Shopping” and “Time to make brownies.”
Barbie had nothing on Talky Tina. That doll not only talked but made sh*t get real. And that was Telly Savalas, pre Kojak

[kaktuskid]

AKA ThunderSmurfs

[BipolarBob]

Looking at the chart, they started the year @$30.00/shr and are now below $10.00/shr. So 2/3 loss. They keep making these nice woke movies, so this is baffling.

[dangus]

I’m soooooo bored with FReepers trying to boast about how out of touch they are. If you don’t know and don’t care about any actors or actresses, fine, skim past. When you bother to SAY you don’t know, you’re trying to hard. Rhea Perlman was Carla on Cheers. OK?

[Yo-Yo]

The throwing and smashing of the baby doll is disturbing.............

Seriously? Really? That was the best part of the trailer, parodying the opening of Stanley Kubrick's 2001: A Space Odyssey.

After encountering the Monolith, apes discover tools and violence:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RWCvMwivrDk

The little girls are the apes, and the Barbie is the Monolith.

[Red Badger]

Yes, I know that, but would a 8 year old girl know that? and get the reference?.....................

[Yo-Yo]

I remember there was a pull cord on the back and if you pulled it, Barbie would say things like "Let's Go Shopping" and "Time to make brownies."

I remember the controversy among the Liberals as to what message Barbie was sending to "our young girls" when it was discovered that one of Barbie's phrases was "Math class is tough."

[Yo-Yo]

Yes, I know that, but would a 8 year old girl know that? and get the reference?.

Of course not, but their parents would.

[Red Badger]

Yeah, they would maybe, if they are old enough, meanwhile the little girls are frightened out of their wits............

[Yo-Yo]

meanwhile the little girls are frightened out of their wits............

Well....

[Red Badger]

They are not ‘little’..............

And I have my suspicions as to whether they are in fact ‘girls’.................

[SamAdams76]

I’m a guy and math class was tough for me too!

[Shady]

I’d rather watch Bluey, althouigh they do need subtitles, it is tough understanding Austrailian. : D

[ProtectOurFreedom]

Don’t forget “Math is hard!”

[ProtectOurFreedom]

You HAD G.I. Joe dolls? My God, man, you admit to that? A doll is a doll is a doll. I was 12 when G.I. Joe came out and I remember thinking “What GUY is going to play with THAT?” We were too busy building forts, baseball fields, tramping through the woods, ice skating, and biking to even THINK about getting a DOLL!

[DPMD]

Hollywood goes from movies based on comic books to movies based on girls toys. Can’t wait for the “Chuck Schumer Action Figure” film to premiere.

[vpintheak]

Not only humans; but white, capitalist invader humans are evil. Don’t forget that part!

[DPMD]

You know who Rhea Perlman is. You get the 2022 “I’m So Fu**ing in Touch” Award. Congrats.

[rktman]

She was? 😎👍