YOUR GOVERNENT MAY BE THE GREATEST OF ALL
Posted on 12/15/2022 12:40:42 PM PST by EnderWiggin1970
When socialism arrives, you're going to want to be ready to "look at the glass as half-full" – even if the glass is empty or even if there is no glass! Here are 10 new perspectives you can adopt in the glorious socialist utopia that will help you make the best of things!
1. You can finally meet your weight loss goal: If current trends hold, you'll be down to a slim, girlish 75 pounds by end-of-year!
2. Your wife will be limited to only a couple of decorative pillows: Save the leather couch cushions to boil into this year's neighborhood stone soup festival!
3. Kids aren't nearly as noisy when they're dehydrated: For big families living under socialism, silver linings abound!
4. Everyone is happy: It helps that the complainers seem to just disappear!
5. You'll meet all kinds of nice people while standing in line: Broaden your horizons. Or should we say "breaden" your horizons? Eh? EH?
6. No election fraud: It's easier when there are no elections!
7. No long lines at Starbucks: It's easier when there's no Starbucks!
8. You get to choose from one of two exciting books at the public library: Das Kapital by Marx and Becoming by Michelle Obama. What more do you need?
9. No more depressing news: The state news media is always so positive about how the government is doing – it lifts the spirits of any patriotic citizen!
10. You won't feel lonely anymore: Big Brother will always be with you!
It's all about perspective – just remember to look on the bright side – or else!
It’s all just a game.
11. Misery loves company, so you’ll have lots of friends!..............
12. No need to waste time on useless elections.
13. No big crowds at the grocery store..................
Remember the Trabant https://silodrome.com/trabant-car/
“East Germans would often place an order for a Trabant either when their baby was born or when their child first entered school, this way by the time the child was a young adult their car might be ready for delivery.”
14. Excellent for your weight loss program.
Global fascist communism, here we come!
15. No mean tweets.
You will not have to make any decisions as all choices will be made for you.
And doubling of the chocolate ration. Double-plus good!
.
LIBERALISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both cows, slaughters them for their own food,
and taxes you to death for worthless social programs, for having
the animals originally.
PROGRESSIVISM
You have 2 cows.
Progs advocate for advancements in science, technology,
economic development and social organization, but they’re so full
of bullshit, nothing ever changes.
You still have 2 cows.
SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
The State forces you to give one to your neighbor, shoots the neighbor
and forces you to milk them both, giving all milk back to the state.
The State gives you a cup of sour milk.
LEFTISM
You have 2 cows.
The State terrrorizes the animals until they can’t produce milk,
beats you and your wife to death, and puts your daughters & sons
into the Pedophile Nation, for the Epsteins, Weiners, Clintons etc.
MARXISM
You have 2 cows.
The government takes both and tosses you into a hog pen, where you’re
devoured and never found.
COMMUNISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and gives you nothing.
They shoot your family and put you in a gulag.
DEMOCRATIC SOCIALISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, promises more free cows, lets you vote and gives you sour milk.
FASCISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and sells you some milk.
NAZISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both and shoots your wife and kids.
ANARCHISM
You have 2 cows.
The State shoots the cows, you and your family.
CRONY CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, milks, slaughters them, and makes a tidy profit from the sale
of choice meat cuts and fresh milk.
You get some lousy hamburger and a jar of sour milk.
BUREAUCRATISM
You have 2 cows.
The State takes both, shoots one, hires a sub-contractor to milk the other, and then throws the milk away.
CONTEMPORARY WALL STREETISM
You have 2 cows.
You sell one, bundle the other with a goat, a mule,
and two dry cows.
You pile into the derivatives market, buy a Gulfstream
and when it all comes down around your ears...
You go to the government for a bailout.
TRADITIONAL CAPITALISM
You have 2 cows.
You sell one and buy a bull.
Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows.
You sell them and retire on the income.
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