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DOJ Files Hate Crime Charges (Satire)
12/4/22 | RetiredTexasVet

Posted on 12/04/2022 2:37:47 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet

DOJ Meritless Garland filed hate crime charges against a Georgia dog owner today. The FBI recommended the charges based upon articles by the NY Times, CNN and MSNBC and a cursory investigation by Wray's best stemming from the report that the dog had killed 8 coyotes. Garland stated that even if the coyotes were all white Hispanics that the charges would still be pressed.

In late breaking news, it was determined by Fox News that the 8 coyotes that were killed were not FBI CIs or smugglers but actual 4 legged canines attacking the farmers sheep. The dog actually killed all 8 attacking canines although receiving serious injuries.

Garland stated that he would be dropping the hate crime charges but would be instituting Federal charges against the dog's owner for not having a predators kill permit. The NY Times stated that they will investigate further and possibly retract the story next December. CNN and MSNBC are standing by their stories and are censoring right wing conspiracy theories that contradict their stories.


TOPICS: Conspiracy; Humor; Pets/Animals
KEYWORDS: sarcasm; satire; scorn

1 posted on 12/04/2022 2:37:47 PM PST by RetiredTexasVet
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To: RetiredTexasVet

When it ought to be Garland having charges filed against him instead.


2 posted on 12/04/2022 2:39:10 PM PST by No name given (Anonymous is who you’ll know me as. )
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To: RetiredTexasVet

Remember when Trump talked about “coyotes” smuggling children and all the braindead libs on twitter thought he was talking about wild dogs?


3 posted on 12/04/2022 2:46:09 PM PST by Boogieman
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To: RetiredTexasVet
When is Garland going to file charges against these jokers?


4 posted on 12/04/2022 2:57:04 PM PST by SmokingJoe ( )
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To: Boogieman

Recently Snoopy (in the “Peanuts” reruns) went to spend Thanksgiving with the coyotes in the desert. He left in disgust when he discovered that they eat bunnies. Here I had assumed it was 4-legged coyotes.


5 posted on 12/04/2022 4:13:55 PM PST by Verginius Rufus
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