Posted on 08/16/2022 4:39:46 AM PDT by sodpoodle
This one goes back a few years, but nothing has changed!
Ten reasons to vote Democrat by David Letterman
#10. I vote Democrat because I love the fact that I can now marry whatever I want. I've decided to marry my German Shepherd.
#9. I vote Democrat because I believe oil companies' profits of 4% on a gallon of gas are obscene, but the government taxing the same gallon at 15% isn't.
#8. I vote Democrat because I believe the government will do a better job of spending the money, I earn than I would.
#7. I vote Democrat because Freedom of Speech is fine as long as nobody is offended by it.
#6. I vote Democrat because I'm way too irresponsible to own a gun, and I know that my local police are all I need to protect me from murderers and thieves. I am also thankful that we have a 911 service that gets police to your home in order to identify your body after a home invasion.
#5. I vote Democrat because I'm not concerned about millions of babies being aborted so long as we keep all death row inmates alive and comfy.
#4. I vote Democrat because I think illegal aliens have a right to free health care, education, and Social Security benefits, and we should take away Social Security from those who paid into it.
#3. I vote Democrat because I believe that businesses should not be allowed to make profits for themselves. They need to break even and give the rest away to the government for redistribution as the Democrat Party sees fit.
#2. I vote Democrat because I believe liberal judges need to rewrite the Constitution every few days to suit fringe kooks who would never get their agendas past the voters.
And, the #1 reason I vote Democrat is because I think it's better to pay $billions$ for oil to people who hate us, but not drill our own because it might upset some endangered beetle, gopher, or fish here in America. We don't care about the beetles, gophers, or fish in those other countries.
"The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits". Albert Einstein
I know you all will appreciate this definition. The best description of Obamacare so far: Remember when Nancy Pelosi said: "We have to pass it, to find out what's in it." A physician called into a radio show and said:
"That's the definition of a stool sample."
Somehow doubt this was Letterman.
I remember the top ten rejected names for Kentucky Fried Chicken, as that list was in a book I got for my brother for Christmas back in the early ‘90s. The two I recall of the top of my head were “Artery Busters” and “Jiffy Lube (already taken)”.
It has to be a fake Top Ten, because that gap-toothed woman-harassing moron is a Demagogic Party stooge and has been throughout his adult life. He denied any party affiliation during his late night run, even had his staff of that time look into it, and they turned up his registration as a D (that's for the party, not for dunce, although that works as well) that he'd apparently forgotten all about.
Regardless, best Top Ten list I've ever seen. :^)
No way that lib wrote this.
There’s no way Letterman would poke abortion, not even 30 years ago.
My mommy voted Democrat. Her mommy voted Democrat, though she was a Communist. Her mommy fled the old country. She was Communist, but it didn’t want her.
Solved.
Somehow know this wasn’t letterman.
Letterman didn’t write that, his staff didn’t write it. If they had he would have fired them. It is, however, a great Top 10. I’ll keep it for future reference.
I enjoyed the Dave Letterman show immensely during the early years.
That was back when I had a “television machine”. My weekday evenings would usually wind up with Ted Koppel, Dave Letterman, followed by Tom Snyder on the Tomorrow Show.
The list is on the internet as David Letterman= I didn’t check that before posting, but seems to be satire and sarcasm.
Clever and true.
Good list! My fave was #5. I’m sending it to all my e-mail
people, but will remove Letterman’s name from it first.
I’m happy to see that it’s (falsely) attributed to Letterman.
Didn’t Ted Koppel’s show begin as short-term coverage of a particular event? Was it the Iran hostage crisis? Anyway . . . nowadays he’s focused on EMPs and the necessity of hardening our grid. And did you ever switch the channel and stumble on Gene Scott’s late-night religious harangues? With occasional outtakes from recent horse races. I think he owned trotters.
Yes, it would be presented as "The Iran Crisis - Day 30" (or whatever day it was) before it morphed into Nightline.
I wish I had that back when Nazi said it. I would've ordered a t-shirt with that blurb on it.
Gene Scott I was not familiar with. I know a similar show, the 700 Club has been on forever.
Gene Shalit, I did know about. He was book and movie critic on the Today Show. Still alive at age 96.
Agree he has a lot of hate in him for many things Carson was gun shy of him it’s haw Leno got the job aside from being better at comedy.
This is very good. Funny because its true. Im gonna save this one.
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