Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

Skip to comments.

10 Great Ways For Teens To Rebel Against Their Progressive Parents
Babylon Bee ^ | August 3, 2022 | Staff

Posted on 08/05/2022 12:40:54 PM PDT by Twotone

There comes a time in every child's life when they begin to assert their autonomy and freedom from the shackles of their upbringing: classic teenage rebellion! But how does one rebel against a set of radical progressive parents for whom morality is relative and degeneracy is celebrated? Not easy!

Here are 10 ways you teens can rebel against your progressive parents:

1. Be straight: Your progressive parents will be FURIOUS. Even more so if you're already white.

2. Clean your room: A sure sign you've been radicalized by the Neo-Nazi Jordan Peterson.

3. Hide your puberty blockers under your tongue and then spit them out when your parents aren't watching: They'll wonder whatever happened to the sweet trans kid they raised.

4. Sneak out late at night to volunteer at the crisis pregnancy center: Make sure you put pillows under your sheets so they'll think you're still in bed while you're out saving babies.

5. Start every sentence with "Tucker Carlson says...": A sure way to make lefty parents FLIP OUT!

6. Start dating a polite, well-raised member of the opposite sex: Then get married early and raise a loving family. They'll be SO triggered!

7. Never turn off the lights to prove you're not worried about climate change: "DAaaad! I'm not a climate denier! You're just brainwashed by the mainstream media!"

8. Go to church: Just tell them you're going to a drag queen story hour and they'll never know.

9. Be happy: Happy?? While the planet is dying and democracy is on the brink of collapse due to Donald Trump? Disgusting.

10. Pray when they aren't looking: Just do it silently. God will still hear your earnest prayer for a hot conservative spouse to start a huge traditional family with!


TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; progressiveparents; rebel
Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-24 last
To: EvilCapitalist
11. Become a lifetime member of the NRA.

12. If you're black, identify as white.

21 posted on 08/05/2022 2:52:08 PM PDT by TangoLimaSierra (⭐⭐Public hangings will wake 'em up.⭐⭐)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 6 | View Replies]

To: Twotone

The Bee does it again...love it!


22 posted on 08/05/2022 3:03:04 PM PDT by Deplorable American1776 (I'm the one trying to save American Democracy...Donald Trump 6/5/21 at the NCGOP convention)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Twotone

11. Hide their weed and other drugs


23 posted on 08/05/2022 4:20:38 PM PDT by Vaduz ( )
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]

To: Twotone

Keep a pocket size US Constitution on your nightstand.

Take an online class from Hillsdale College.

Wear a Clarence Thomas T shirt that at first glance looks like Che.


24 posted on 08/05/2022 7:42:29 PM PDT by lurk (u)
[ Post Reply | Private Reply | To 1 | View Replies]


Navigation: use the links below to view more comments.
first previous 1-2021-24 last

Disclaimer: Opinions posted on Free Republic are those of the individual posters and do not necessarily represent the opinion of Free Republic or its management. All materials posted herein are protected by copyright law and the exemption for fair use of copyrighted works.

Free Republic
Browse · Search
General/Chat
Topics · Post Article

FreeRepublic, LLC, PO BOX 9771, FRESNO, CA 93794
FreeRepublic.com is powered by software copyright 2000-2008 John Robinson