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10 Great Ways For Teens To Rebel Against Their Progressive Parents
Babylon Bee ^ | August 3, 2022 | Staff

Posted on 08/05/2022 12:40:54 PM PDT by Twotone

There comes a time in every child's life when they begin to assert their autonomy and freedom from the shackles of their upbringing: classic teenage rebellion! But how does one rebel against a set of radical progressive parents for whom morality is relative and degeneracy is celebrated? Not easy!

Here are 10 ways you teens can rebel against your progressive parents:

1. Be straight: Your progressive parents will be FURIOUS. Even more so if you're already white.

2. Clean your room: A sure sign you've been radicalized by the Neo-Nazi Jordan Peterson.

3. Hide your puberty blockers under your tongue and then spit them out when your parents aren't watching: They'll wonder whatever happened to the sweet trans kid they raised.

4. Sneak out late at night to volunteer at the crisis pregnancy center: Make sure you put pillows under your sheets so they'll think you're still in bed while you're out saving babies.

5. Start every sentence with "Tucker Carlson says...": A sure way to make lefty parents FLIP OUT!

6. Start dating a polite, well-raised member of the opposite sex: Then get married early and raise a loving family. They'll be SO triggered!

7. Never turn off the lights to prove you're not worried about climate change: "DAaaad! I'm not a climate denier! You're just brainwashed by the mainstream media!"

8. Go to church: Just tell them you're going to a drag queen story hour and they'll never know.

9. Be happy: Happy?? While the planet is dying and democracy is on the brink of collapse due to Donald Trump? Disgusting.

10. Pray when they aren't looking: Just do it silently. God will still hear your earnest prayer for a hot conservative spouse to start a huge traditional family with!


TOPICS: Humor; Miscellaneous
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; progressiveparents; rebel
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1 posted on 08/05/2022 12:40:54 PM PDT by Twotone
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To: Twotone

Right-wing underground.


2 posted on 08/05/2022 12:44:47 PM PDT by Leep (Hillary will NEVER be president! 😁)
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To: Twotone

That’s hilarious.


3 posted on 08/05/2022 12:46:44 PM PDT by dljordan
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To: Twotone

John Birch Society mailing list: get on it.

Get an “Enoch Was Right” tee on a shirt with a prominent Union Jack logo.

Hang up vintage Reagan campaign materials in your room.

Keep changing the car radio to Christian music.


4 posted on 08/05/2022 12:49:06 PM PDT by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
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To: Twotone

“Pray when they aren’t looking: Just do it silently. God will still hear your earnest prayer for a hot conservative spouse to start a huge traditional family with!”

God has already determined who you will marry.


5 posted on 08/05/2022 12:49:13 PM PDT by TexasGator (ice )
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To: Twotone

11. Become a lifetime member of the NRA.


6 posted on 08/05/2022 12:49:19 PM PDT by EvilCapitalist (81 million votes my ass.)
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To: Twotone
There was a television show about a conservative teen rebelling against his progressive parents.

It was called Family Ties.

7 posted on 08/05/2022 12:50:54 PM PDT by Yo-Yo (Is the /Sarc tag really necessary? Pray for President Biden: Psalm 109:8)
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To: Rurudyne

When at home, instead of listening to rock ‘n’ roll, play youtube clips of El Rushbo.


8 posted on 08/05/2022 12:51:33 PM PDT by EvilCapitalist (81 million votes my ass.)
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To: Twotone
Buy a combustion engine car. Make it an SUV.

-PJ

9 posted on 08/05/2022 12:53:22 PM PDT by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: EvilCapitalist

If your parents are shopping point out options not made in Communist China, if any. And if there are none suggest buying something from a reseller of stuff instead.


10 posted on 08/05/2022 12:54:19 PM PDT by Rurudyne (Standup Philosopher)
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To: Twotone
Go to school board meetings, and applaud other people's parents when they speak.

-PJ

11 posted on 08/05/2022 12:54:25 PM PDT by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: Twotone

“A Trump Was Right” T-shirt.


12 posted on 08/05/2022 12:54:28 PM PDT by Huskrrrr (Alinsky, you magnificent Bastard, I read your book!)
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To: EvilCapitalist

Eat meat
Drive a gas guzzler
Don’t cheat
Don’t be an habitual liar


13 posted on 08/05/2022 12:54:49 PM PDT by Leep (Hillary will NEVER be president! 😁)
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To: Leep

My Dad’s fiancee is a lefty. A few years ago she thought it stupid that I sang God Bless America in Church.


14 posted on 08/05/2022 12:58:21 PM PDT by EvilCapitalist (81 million votes my ass.)
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To: Political Junkie Too
Buy a combustion engine car. Make it an SUV.

Even better, buy a pre-catalytic converter FULL-SIZED Classic Car. An Olds 98, Imperial, Ford LTD, Chrysler New Yorker, etc.
15 posted on 08/05/2022 1:21:29 PM PDT by Dr. Sivana (What was 35% of the Rep. Party is now 85%. And it’s too late to turn back—Mac Stipanovich )
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To: Twotone

This is easy, one week be a girl and ask for expensive clothes. Next week be a boy and more expensive clothes. Rinse and repeat......


16 posted on 08/05/2022 1:25:04 PM PDT by Lockbox (politicians, they all seemed like game show hosts to me.... Sting)
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To: Twotone

Never wear a mask:

1. Outdoors

2. Indoors, except when compelled by a commercial or govt. entity. If you’re visiting a liberal and he tells you to put on your mask or leave, LEAVE.

3. While driving or as a passenger


17 posted on 08/05/2022 1:37:12 PM PDT by Signalman
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To: Twotone

The people at the Bee are absolutely, positively insane! I love it! ;-)


18 posted on 08/05/2022 2:14:52 PM PDT by spel_grammer_an_punct_polise (Land is simply a place I visit until I can return to the sea.)
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To: spel_grammer_an_punct_polise

I realize this is the Bee, but they actually have a point. Teens always rebel against their parents. One way they could do so right now is to go against their parents’ political beliefs. I’m seeing reports of more and more teens starting to look at conservative view-points and starting to espouse them just to get a “rise” out of their parents. Then, they start looking deeper and find that conservatives are not really evil.

Many young 15 and 16 year-olds are rebelling against their liberal parents and actually becoming conservative. The parents actually post videos asking “what can I do, my child has joined a conservative club. How can bring him/her (it) back to my way of thinking without alienating my child?”


19 posted on 08/05/2022 2:26:30 PM PDT by CFW
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To: Twotone

Listen to alternative points of view


20 posted on 08/05/2022 2:43:54 PM PDT by NWFree (Somebody has to say it 🤪)
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