Posted on 07/21/2022 9:00:38 AM PDT by mykroar
WASHINGTON, D.C. — The White House held an emergency press conference after Biden's COVID diagnosis to assure the nation that whoever is actually running the country right now is still completely healthy.
"Yes, the President has COVID but the person running the country — Bob? I think Bob is in charge today — is in perfect health at the moment," said gay black Press Secretary Karine Jean-Pierre. "Don't worry everyone! Bob's got everything under control!"
The press room erupted into a flurry of questions wanting to know who "Bob" was, but Jean-Pierre ignored them to flip through her notebook for several minutes before saying "Oh, I'm sorry, I made a mistake. Bob was in charge yesterday. It's Doug's turn today."
As the press began to frantically ask about "Doug," Jean-Pierre concluded by saying "The President has been clear from the beginning, and agrees, that the time to be clear about our agreement is now, and this COVID diagnosis will not affect his ability to act as President while Doug runs the country today. Thank you very much." She then walked out of the room.
At publishing time, anonymous sources confirmed that Doug is on vacation this week so Sam is actually running the country this week.
UPDATE: Sam has COVID.
Brutal: Biden Contracts COVID Just One Day After Miraculous Recovery From Cancer
How is Valerie, by the way?
There’s been a lot of fun with this theme.
Karma’s a bitch, ain’t it, Joe!
bttt
President Retard has covid cancer there’s nothing to see 🤪
This would be a funny article - IF it weren’t actually SO CLOSE to the actual truth..
“I’m in charge here.” - General Alexander Haig, the White House (Attempted assassination of president Reagan).
5.566mm
Then we know it isn’t Biden . . .
“I’m in charge here.”
I remember that statement well, and I really appreciated it. I was attending LSU at the time, so while studying, I clicked on the TV and caught all of the news.
Just prior to Haig coming on and saying that, there was this individual speaking and I was shocked at the hesitancy, timidity, confusion he was projecting and it unnerved me. I think that performance is what prompted Haig to jump in front of the camera to reassure the nation that that snowflake was definitely not in charge.
“Doctors say that the twice-boosted president only has mild symptoms, but has tragically lost his keen sense of smell. “
Oh, but they’re sly dogs over at the Bee.
That was exactly why he did it. The retired General knew that leadership needed to appear strong and in charge. And as Secretary of State he was the highest ranking official there.
The VP was out of town and the Speaker of the House and Senate President Pro Tempore were likewise unavailable. Of course it takes an act of Congress for anyone other than the VP to assume continuing authority.
I was going to say Susan Rice, but ValJar works, too.
Seems like I’m going to the Babylon Bee more and more often to get the real news.
Her and Holder are well hidden and in full control.
That explains his lack of interest in Mrs. Zelensky...aka the Lady in the Six button suit.
How many people did he expose??
“How many people did he expose??”
If FJB infected one person, MBS, Biden will be found headless in bed one morning.
The White House held an emergency press conference after Biden's COVID diagnosis to assure the nation that whoever is actually running the country right now is still completely healthy.
I wonder who that is?
All of the Biden-loving Freepers are reassured and the Ukraine War will be as successful as the Afghan War......
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