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Newly Transitioned Woman Proudly Runs Over First Curb
Babylon Bee ^ | 7/18/2022 | BabylonBee.com

Posted on 07/18/2022 9:32:55 AM PDT by God luvs America

Freshly transitioned to a woman, Leslie Roberson tasted the sweet thrill of womanhood this morning as she absolutely smashed her car into a curb.

"Whew! Sure feel like a woman now!" shouted Leslie with glee. "Better take the car into a mechanic now and get taken advantage of. This is great!"

Previously known as Bob, the newly minted "Leslie" had grown tired of deciding where to go to eat and being comfortable at ambient temperatures. "I just wasn't living my truth," said Leslie, turning down the thermostat. "Now I can take a hundred blankets with me everywhere I go and have completely preposterous mood swings. Wait, did I just close the garage door on the trunk?"

Sources say Leslie spent the remainder of the day making one sandwich after another, reveling in the joys of femininity. After learning how to do that turban thing women do with towels on their heads after taking a shower, Leslie then added seventeen more throw pillows to the bed. After Leslie turned down a high-level appointment in the Biden administration, Victoria's Secret called to offer a modeling gig.

"Wow, no one ever used to call me when I was Bob," said Leslie at publishing time. "Being oppressed is the best!"


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Conspiracy; Humor; Society
KEYWORDS: babylonbee
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The Bee does it again!!! Those whose wives drive as bad as my wife can sympathize!!!
1 posted on 07/18/2022 9:32:55 AM PDT by God luvs America
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To: God luvs America

Beg to differ on that. My hubby caused the dents in the vehicles.


2 posted on 07/18/2022 9:35:44 AM PDT by stars & stripes forever (Blessed the nation who se GOD is the LORD. ~ Psalm 33:12)
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To: God luvs America

But did he errr it no um whereever bring anyone a cold beer ???


3 posted on 07/18/2022 9:36:54 AM PDT by Tennessee Nana
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To: God luvs America

I love the Bee. It shows how stupid this whole politically correct b.s. and Women’s Movement nonsense is.

Keep at it guys. Let’s hope soon these Lefties will be the laughing stock everywhere.


4 posted on 07/18/2022 9:37:24 AM PDT by Jim W N (MAGA by restoring the Gospel of the Grace of Christ (Jude 3) and our Free Constitutional Republic!)
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To: God luvs America

Where, exactly, did the trend/compulsion/ritual/perversion of putting decorative pillows on beds and sofas come from?
I know it wasn’t from the Eskimos.


5 posted on 07/18/2022 9:41:03 AM PDT by lee martell
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To: stars & stripes forever

Mr. mm’s driving record is worse than mine as well.


6 posted on 07/18/2022 9:41:39 AM PDT by metmom (...fixing our eyes on Jesus, the Author and Perfecter of our faith…)
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To: God luvs America

“ After learning how to do that turban thing women do with towels on their heads after taking a shower”

Why do women come out of the shower looking like bin laden( ignoring the other towel wrapped at breast level) ?


7 posted on 07/18/2022 9:44:48 AM PDT by libh8er
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To: metmom

My mom always got out of hers by crying. She even cried when a policeman pulled her over for driving in an unauthorized area in a declared disaster, but no ticket. Fortunately, I saw that one, first hand.

The others she has alluded to us. Always a warning or nothing for speeding.


8 posted on 07/18/2022 9:46:28 AM PDT by ConservativeMind (Trump: Befuddling Democrats, Republicans, and the Media for the benefit of the US and all mankind.)
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To: libh8er

First time i traveled with my wife, then girlfriend, 25 years ago, she came out of the shower and had the towel wrapped around her head. I though it was amazing the way she got it on her head and was able to keep it on her head without dropping off!!!


9 posted on 07/18/2022 9:47:26 AM PDT by God luvs America (63.5 million pay no income tax and vote for DemoKrats...)
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To: libh8er

Speaking of coming out of the shower looking like bin laden…

https://youtu.be/F-p-hZ77-f4


10 posted on 07/18/2022 9:48:56 AM PDT by libh8er
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To: stars & stripes forever

Beg all you want- Stevie Wonder drives better than my wife


11 posted on 07/18/2022 9:53:12 AM PDT by God luvs America (63.5 million pay no income tax and vote for DemoKrats...)
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To: stars & stripes forever

“Beg to differ on that.”

My wife of 60 years and three kids has always been the safest driver in the family.
Not the best driver, but the safest.


12 posted on 07/18/2022 9:53:18 AM PDT by Tupelo (PINO: President In Name Only)
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To: God luvs America

They only count how many accidents women are in, not how many they cause.


13 posted on 07/18/2022 9:54:59 AM PDT by Nachoman (Following victory, its best to reload.)
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To: God luvs America

If you don’t like the way my wife drives, stay off the sidewalks!


14 posted on 07/18/2022 10:00:04 AM PDT by Republican in occupied CA (I will not give up on my native State! Here I was born, here I fight and die!!)
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To: God luvs America

My wife is a good driver, but the Bee nails the temperature issue.


15 posted on 07/18/2022 10:02:22 AM PDT by kosciusko51
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To: Republican in occupied CA

LOL!!!

I always tell my wife, “there’s no law stating you must drive through every pothole in the road.”


16 posted on 07/18/2022 10:04:21 AM PDT by God luvs America (63.5 million pay no income tax and vote for DemoKrats...)
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To: Nachoman

I count the number of front end alignments, struts, tires, that must be replaced because she cannot avoid potholes, curbs and other assorted stuff on the road.


17 posted on 07/18/2022 10:05:55 AM PDT by God luvs America (63.5 million pay no income tax and vote for DemoKrats...)
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To: Jim W N

I love the Bee. It shows how stupid this whole politically correct b.s. and Women’s Movement nonsense is.

Keep at it guys. Let’s hope soon these Lefties will be the laughing stock everywhere.

I do too......


18 posted on 07/18/2022 10:07:42 AM PDT by Dawgreg
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To: God luvs America
The 17 extra throw pillows on the bed is pure gold.

The femininity of a woman is directly proportional to the number of throw pillows in the house. I have observed this to be the case and declare it to be true.

19 posted on 07/18/2022 10:08:49 AM PDT by SamAdams76 (3,557,412 users on Truth Social)
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To: lee martell

“Where, exactly, did the trend/compulsion/ritual/perversion of putting decorative pillows on beds and sofas come from?”

In the beginning, God saw that woman was in need of more ‘things’…..


20 posted on 07/18/2022 10:14:52 AM PDT by Carthego delenda est
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