Posted on 05/13/2022 11:42:56 AM PDT by sodpoodle
You're An EXTREME Redneck When...
1) You let your 14-year-old daughter smoke at the dinner table in front of her kids
2) The Blue Book value of your truck goes up and down depending on how much gas is in it.
3) You've been married three times and still have the same in-laws.
4) You think a woman who is out of your league, bowls on a different night.
5) You wonder how service stations keep their rest-rooms so clean.
6) Someone in your family died right after saying, 'Hey, guys, watch this.'
7) You think Dom Perignon is a Mafia leader.
8) Your wife's hairdo was once ruined by a ceiling fan.
9) Your junior prom offered day care.
10) You think the last words of the Star-Spangled Banner are 'Gentlemen, start your engines.'
11) You lit a match in the bathroom and your house exploded right off its wheels.
12) The Halloween pumpkin on your porch has more teeth than your spouse.
13) You have to go outside to get something from the fridge.
14) One of your kids was born on a pool table.
15) You need one more hole punched in your card to get a freebie at the House of Tattoos.
16) You can't get married to your sweetheart because there's a law against it.
17) You think loading the dishwasher means getting your wife drunk.
And in closing....
Two good ol' boys in an Alabama trailer park were sitting around talking one afternoon over a cold beer after getting off work at the local Nissan plant.
After a while the 1st guy says to the 2nd, "If'n I was to sneak over to your trailer Saturday & make love to your wife while you was off huntin' and she got pregnant and had a baby, would that make us kin?"
The 2nd guy crooked his head sideways for a minute, scratched his head and squinted his eyes thinking real hard about the question. Finally, he says, "Well, I don't know about kin, but it would make us even!
How did the Hillbilly Redneck die? A “Stump Broke” cow kicked him.
His only problem was jumping off the stump to run around to kiss the cow on the lips, then back to the stump.
And no, I will not define “stump broke”.
Not since they got rid of check out ladies and started having you self scan the products.
Teeth brush? I still have all my teeth, but I was born on the High Plains and drank well water from the Ogallala Aquifer.
Now I think of it, everyone in that area had great teeth!
I have no idea what that post was even supposed to mean.
It doesn’t really matter to me what other people think about it.
But it’s puzzling that some people get on here and act so damn unpleasant and insulting. I don’t see how they think they might sway anyone to their point of view.
I’m sure a lot of people aren’t exactly sure and would be open to information. But in their conduct here, the ‘Russophiles’ tend to bear out all the vicious rumors we hear.
20) You refer to a soda of any flavor or band name as "a coke".
If you think that jokes about rednecks are ‘anti-white’ your age has gotten to your brain. (You also seem to have some rather unpleasant bugaboos. I think you’re no more ‘pro White’ than you are ‘anti-Black’)
Now do the same to the effete elite
There are plenty of jokes about ‘wokesters’, and just as ‘vicious’.
Then there was the man who, to combat a major roach infestation, sealed his house and set off a bug bomb in every room while he enjoyed beer, pretzels, and hot dogs on the back yard patio. The result was an explosion and fire — with a tsk, tsk from the manufacturer about his violation of the obscure safety warning that appeared in 10 point type on the packaging.
I grew up calling it all ‘soda’. Doesn’t matter what brand or flavor.
Probably because you usually got it at the drugstore soda fountain.
Wait.
She was pretty cool. Had a barber chair in the main room of her trailer.
ROFL!!! Thanks for the laugh as I wait in my doctor’s office... I snorted I laughed so hard
“You remind me of all the libs who can’t take a joke and have no sense of humor.”
Yeah. The title does say “extreme redneck”. I can’t imagine any of those items actually describing a FReeper or someone they know. If so ... that’s a shame.
Ok, I looked up what it was, I understand you not defining it here, 🤠
Oh my gosh. Yes! Darn auto correct got me.
Yes teethbrush. Darn auto correct and me not editing b4 submit.
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