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Wife Successfully Executes 37-Point Turn
The Babylon Bee ^ | May 6, 2022 | The Babylon Bee

Posted on 05/09/2022 9:49:47 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks

AMARILLO, TX—A local woman stunned critics Friday by successfully executing a record-breaking 37-point turn in front of Lawndale Elementary School on Bivins St. The driver, identified as Cheryl Alessa, only held up traffic for 12 minutes as she performed the daring expert maneuver.

Alessa dropped her kids off for school on 25th Ave and then proceeded to make a wrong turn in a northward direction. To avoid a minor delay on her way to a yoga class she promptly initiated the 37-point turn on the packed street. Bystanders began laying on their car horns and raising their voices at the loving wife and mother.

"People were really cheering for me," Alessa later told authorities. "You could hear the crowd for miles. I didn't think it was a big deal but I guess few women are as skilled as I am behind the wheel."

According to sources, her husband Gerald has expressed displeasure at the incident. "I'm worried about the example she's setting for our children. A U-turn at the next intersection would have been simpler and safer. Frankly, she's a loose cannon."

"He's just threatened by my mad skillz," said Cheryl who laughed off her husband's concern. (She specifically pronounced the word skillz with a z).

At publishing time, school officials sent a letter to the Alessa household, encouraging the family to make other arrangements for their kids to be brought to school by someone other than their mother.

(Excerpt) Read more at babylonbee.com ...


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Education; Humor; Local News; Miscellaneous; Society; Weird Stuff
KEYWORDS: 37pointturn; amarillo; driving; satire; texas; traffic; wife; wrongturn
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To: Little Ray

If that’s what you mean by slow, count me in. After my recent accident (not my fault), I’m being more careful.


21 posted on 05/09/2022 10:55:06 AM PDT by Tolerance Sucks Rocks (Florida: America's new free zone.)
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

“I get no respect.

‘’My wife passed her driving test. She got 18 outta 20.

The other two guys jumped outta the way!’’.


22 posted on 05/09/2022 11:19:38 AM PDT by jmacusa (America. Founded by geniuses. Now governed by idiots. )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

Where I drive (Florida panhandle) that is slow. I am doing 60 in a 55 mph zone and people just gotta pass me on a 2 lane highway, frequently to go tailgate the guy in front of me (I like a lot of distance between me and the next car...).


23 posted on 05/09/2022 11:19:39 AM PDT by Little Ray (Civilization runs on a narrow margin. What sustains it is not magic, but hard work. )
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks
Pivot! Pivot! Pivot!

-PJ

24 posted on 05/09/2022 11:21:00 AM PDT by Political Junkie Too ( * LAAP = Left-wing Activist Agitprop Press (formerly known as the MSM))
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To: DouglasKC

Bad drivers never miss their exit.


25 posted on 05/09/2022 11:45:18 AM PDT by brianl703
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To: Tolerance Sucks Rocks

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zGV4smFWeGA


26 posted on 05/09/2022 2:31:19 PM PDT by Blood of Tyrants (Inside every liberal is a blood-thirsty fascist yearning to be free of current societal constraints.)
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To: faithhopecharity

27 posted on 05/09/2022 3:25:04 PM PDT by tomkat ( SOTU = FUBAR )
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