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Chris Rock Smooths Things Over With Will Smith By Sleeping With His Wife
Babylon Bee ^ | March 29th, 2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 04/01/2022 11:52:19 AM PDT by Trillian

LOS ANGELES, CA—In a show of penitence for the insensitive joke told during the Oscars, Chris Rock offered to smooth things over with Will Smith by sleeping with his wife.

“My client feels incredible remorse for the violently inconsiderate jab aimed at Jada Pinkett Smith’s debilitating medical condition,” said Rock’s publicist, “As such, Chris generously proposes making amends by making love.”

Friends of the Smiths expressed surprise that Will’s initial reaction was to reject the comedian’s coital olive branch, knowing the cuckold really had no say in the matter. However, after learning he was at risk of losing his precious Oscar award, Smith expressed full support for the peace offering, again mistakenly assuming his decision would in any way influence his wife’s escapades.

Jada Pinkett Smith expressed overwhelming support for the comedian’s generous offer to reconcile and make things right and promised to pen him into her busy schedule of sleeping with other men.


TOPICS: Chit/Chat; Humor
KEYWORDS: babylonbee; blackkk; chrisrock; oscars; willsmith
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To: Trillian

I don’t know about you guys here, but if somebody else parks their cadillac in my garage, I am Selling Immediately.

Maybe he just can’t satisfy her and likes to watch how Real Men do it. How much does he charge them to bang his wife?

No wonder his SON wears a dress


21 posted on 04/01/2022 12:21:09 PM PDT by eyeamok (founded in cynicism, wrapped in sarcasm)
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To: SeekAndFind
There's a strong desire among worldly people to put up a front that they can be uber-sophisticated while violating God's will. In their minds...

It's not cheating on each other, it's "an open marriage".

It's not killing babies like worshippers of Moloch, it's "family planning".

It's not denying God's existence, it's "being science minded".

22 posted on 04/01/2022 12:23:00 PM PDT by Tell It Right (1st Thessalonians 5:21 -- Put everything to the test, hold fast to that which is true.)
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To: Trillian

Sometimes the Bee swings and misses. But this one is a home run. They knocked it out of the park.


23 posted on 04/01/2022 12:28:08 PM PDT by Leaning Right (The steal is real.)
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To: eyeamok
No wonder his SON wears a dress

Exactly.

24 posted on 04/01/2022 12:28:41 PM PDT by GOP_Party_Animal
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To: Trillian

lol


25 posted on 04/01/2022 12:34:46 PM PDT by Scarlett156 (I dont go on Discord as the last time I did, the guys spying on me/Mr K were talking about it. (BTW))
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To: oldvirginian
"Jada has told Will what the rules are"

I guess one of the rules was that she was going to wear that Hideous green dress out there. No wonder she was in a bad mood that night. She's got a chair hiding in that thing!


26 posted on 04/01/2022 12:36:39 PM PDT by Samurai_Jack (This is not about hypocrisy, this is about hierarchy!)
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To: ConservativeMind

Ouch?... More like THWAP!


27 posted on 04/01/2022 12:41:14 PM PDT by MHGinTN (A dispensation perspective is a powerful tool for discernment)
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To: Samurai_Jack

How does one handle the logistics of going to the bathroom in a dress like that.


28 posted on 04/01/2022 12:42:47 PM PDT by Captain Peter Blood
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To: Captain Peter Blood

Pretty sure I don’t wanna know...


29 posted on 04/01/2022 12:44:51 PM PDT by Samurai_Jack (This is not about hypocrisy, this is about hierarchy!)
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To: Seruzawa

They have an ‘open’ marriage. So, it’s poking fun at that arrangement at the same time. Quite clever and funny to me.


30 posted on 04/01/2022 12:50:42 PM PDT by Textide (Lord, grant that I may always be right, for thou knowest I am hard to turn. ~ Scotch-Irish prayer)
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To: Trillian

Sounds like the BB is in for a good slappin’ to me. Oh, sleeping with is okay but bald jokes, not so much. Never mind.


31 posted on 04/01/2022 1:00:02 PM PDT by rktman (Destroy America from within? Check! WTH? Enlisted USN 1967 to end up with this? 😕)
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To: Captain Peter Blood

“How does one handle the logistics of going to the bathroom in a dress like that.”
****************************************************

Have Will (or her boyfriend) hold a bed pan up under her dress. It would help if she’s not wearing panties.


32 posted on 04/01/2022 1:13:35 PM PDT by House Atreides
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To: Samurai_Jack

That dress just SCREAMS look at me I’m a drama queen.
I’ve seen several places where people were making fun of the dress. One said she looked like a bad Cabbage Patch Kid. Another said she looked like half of the advertisement for a Chicken N Greens soul food joint.
Myself, I think that dress was one Carol Burnett REJECTED for being too gaudy for her Gone With The Wind skit!
GWTW....and WWTW parody
https://youtu.be/aV-5xoFVco4


33 posted on 04/01/2022 1:18:08 PM PDT by oldvirginian (When I was a kid I wanted to be older…this is not what I expected)
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To: Trillian

Without this slap thing...I would never have known his wife slept around. Most people probably wouldn’t have.

But now....


34 posted on 04/01/2022 1:18:58 PM PDT by moovova
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To: SeekAndFind
I have never understood this open marriage concept. Why bother getting married if you still want to sleep around with anyone, anytime?

After being married to a woman from hell for 30 years and finally being free from her for the past 5 years now, I'd question why any man in his right mind would marry a woman to start with.

IMO, they're all batshit crazy. No exceptions.

Sorry NOT Sorry.

35 posted on 04/01/2022 1:22:11 PM PDT by usconservative (When The Ballot Box No Longer Counts, The Ammunition Box Does. (What's In Your Ammo Box?))
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To: House Atreides

Or she could just wear adult depends I guess.


36 posted on 04/01/2022 1:43:01 PM PDT by Captain Peter Blood
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To: usconservative

I count myself lucky to have been with one of the few women in the world who is not batshit crazy, and who after close to 40 years still makes an effort to keep me happy.

Many of my friends marriages have not been so good. My brother-in-law I would nominate for sainthood, as his wife is truly nuts.


37 posted on 04/01/2022 3:34:25 PM PDT by SauronOfMordor (A Leftist can't enjoy life unless they are controlling, hurting, or destroying others)
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To: SauronOfMordor
Yours may well be the exception to the rule.

I'm not proud to say I'm divorced. I wish it could've been different. It was a very painful experience that unfortunately became necessary due to my ex's refusal to get help. Long story very short: she was sexually abused and raped repeatedly by her own father between the ages of 9 and 13'ish. We were married for 10 years when I learned that, and it explained much about why my marriage was the way it was. It's different when you're dating and engaged and wait until after marriage to live together 24x7.

My first and second sons were born 11 and 13 years into our marriage. We divorced as my youngest son was in his last year of high school and my oldest was a sophmore in college. It devastated them. (They know there's something wrong with their mother, they don't know what or why.)

Post marriage and after giving myself time to heal I began dating again. I don't 'lightly' say all women are batshit crazy. I think there's a reason and it's an unfortunate fact that roughly half of the women I met and very briefly dated approximately 40% of them had been sexually abused at some point. After being married to a woman who was sexually abused for so long, I hate to say it became easy to spot the women who were, but it was. It's sad it happened to them, and it changed them. I'm not saying I'm assuming they were sexually abused, I flat out asked and they confirmed it. In today's age and the "me too" mindset that still permeates our society women who were sexually abused aren't as embarassed as they used to be because they know it's not their fault, vs. years ago feeling pressured to keep quiet or feeling embarassed about it.

At my age, I'm happy to be a bachelor and not have the drama in my life. I'm good with it and I've had opportunities to date (had a nice woman ask me out last night and I politely declined) I'm just no longer interested.

38 posted on 04/01/2022 3:53:25 PM PDT by usconservative (When The Ballot Box No Longer Counts, The Ammunition Box Does. (What's In Your Ammo Box?))
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To: Trillian

In my opinion Jada’s a dog inside and out.


39 posted on 04/01/2022 4:40:09 PM PDT by Bullish (This is the most bloated and most inept govt in history.)
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To: SmokingJoe

Cause Will Smith’s a cuckold.


40 posted on 04/01/2022 4:41:13 PM PDT by Bullish (This is the most bloated and most inept govt in history.)
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