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Adam Confused By New Creature God Put In Garden As He Is Not A Biologist (satire)
Babylon Bee ^ | March 25, 2022 | Babylon Bee

Posted on 03/28/2022 11:32:15 AM PDT by gattaca

EDEN—According to sources, The Creator decided it's not good for man to be alone and has created a beautiful helper and companion for him, formed from a rib taken from the first man, Adam. Unfortunately, Adam isn't sure what to call this exquisite and wonderful creature as he is not a biologist.

"This is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh," began Adam. "She shall be called, um... gosh, I really can't say. I'm no scientist here." He then stammered and stuttered for 10 minutes causing the feminine-looking bipedal humanoid creature to roll its eyes.

"Ah crap, was it something I said?" said Adam, scratching his head. "I don't know what this creature—who looks very much like me except better in every conceivable way—identifies as! Oh! If there was only a peer-reviewed biologist or gender studies professor who could make this clear to me!"

The first man was going to give his wife a name but failed to come up with one as he wasn't sure of her gender. He decided it would be a bit patriarchal to give this perfectly lovely creation a name instead of letting it self-identify.

At the time of printing, Adam is now hanging out alone with his pet parrot and the feminine-looking creature has wandered off and made friends with a snake.


TOPICS: Humor
KEYWORDS: ba; babylonbee; bidenvoters
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1 posted on 03/28/2022 11:32:15 AM PDT by gattaca
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To: gattaca

That would take ‘Fruit of the Womb’ to a whole new level!


2 posted on 03/28/2022 11:33:21 AM PDT by lee martell
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To: gattaca

Not being a biologist, I don’t get the humor here....


3 posted on 03/28/2022 11:35:11 AM PDT by LouieFisk
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To: lee martell

The reason God created Adam before Eve is because God did not need a woman standing there telling him how to make Adam.


4 posted on 03/28/2022 11:35:32 AM PDT by MikeSteelBe (The South will be in the right in the next war of Northern aggression.)
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To: gattaca
"This is now bone of my bone, and flesh of my flesh," began Adam. "She shall be called...

He assumed its gender right off the bat - shame!

5 posted on 03/28/2022 11:37:04 AM PDT by Psalm 73 ("You'll never hear surf music again" - J. Hendrix)
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To: gattaca

Dear BEE.....We love you!!


6 posted on 03/28/2022 11:37:13 AM PDT by Sacajaweau ( )
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To: MikeSteelBe

Yep!


7 posted on 03/28/2022 11:38:02 AM PDT by lee martell
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To: gattaca


8 posted on 03/28/2022 11:38:07 AM PDT by Chode (there is no fall back position, there's no rally point, there is no LZ... we're on our own. #FJB)
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To: LouieFisk

Supreme Court nominee Ketanji Brown Jackson was asked to define what a woman is, she said she couldn’t because she’s not a biologist.


9 posted on 03/28/2022 11:43:44 AM PDT by gattaca ("Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." Ronald Reagan)
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To: gattaca

I can’t tell you if this is funny. I’m not a comedian.


10 posted on 03/28/2022 11:46:22 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The forces of fascism and oppression are on the move in North America. We cannot let tyranny stand!)
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To: lee martell
That would take ‘Fruit of the Womb’ to a whole new level!

It never occurred to me after how many decades on earth? Are you implying that the brand name "Fruit of the Loom" is an allusion to "the fruit of thy womb" in the Rosary?

It's either 1) obvious; 2) too Catholic for the American market, considering the company was founded in 1851; 3) not necessarily Catholic, since the phrase is found elsewhere in the Bible and elsewhere; but in any case 4) seems slightly blasphemous?

Or 5) None of the above.

11 posted on 03/28/2022 11:48:01 AM PDT by SamuraiScot
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To: Lazamataz

Brilliant!


12 posted on 03/28/2022 11:48:50 AM PDT by gattaca ("Government's first duty is to protect the people, not run their lives." Ronald Reagan)
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To: gattaca

;^)


13 posted on 03/28/2022 11:51:15 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The forces of fascism and oppression are on the move in North America. We cannot let tyranny stand!)
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To: SamuraiScot

Yes. That’s where they get it from.
It’s mildly blasphemous, but clever.


14 posted on 03/28/2022 11:51:26 AM PDT by lee martell
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To: gattaca

LOL...another home run today! This one is great.


15 posted on 03/28/2022 11:51:49 AM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom (“Sorry, I’m not a biologist.”)
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To: gattaca; LouieFisk

Oh, come on, G. Louie KNEW that.


16 posted on 03/28/2022 11:52:53 AM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom (“Sorry, I’m not a biologist.”)
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To: Lazamataz

I can’t even read it because I’m not an English teacher.


17 posted on 03/28/2022 11:53:31 AM PDT by ProtectOurFreedom (“Sorry, I’m not a biologist.”)
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To: gattaca

I was attempting to make a joke there.


18 posted on 03/28/2022 11:55:19 AM PDT by LouieFisk
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To: ProtectOurFreedom

I can’t see your response. I’m not an opthamologist.


19 posted on 03/28/2022 11:56:16 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The forces of fascism and oppression are on the move in North America. We cannot let tyranny stand!)
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To: LouieFisk

I didn’t get your joke. I’m not a laugh-track.


20 posted on 03/28/2022 11:57:01 AM PDT by Lazamataz (The forces of fascism and oppression are on the move in North America. We cannot let tyranny stand!)
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