SCOTUS Nominee Encounters Difficulty Answering Questions (Satire)

3/23/22 | RetiredTexasVet

[RetiredTexasVet]

SCOTUS nominee, Ketanji Brown Jackson, encountered difficulty answering questions from senators during her confirmation hearing today. Because of Ketanji's difficulty answering many of the questions, Senator Dick Durbin, Senate Judiciary chairman, changed the rules to allow the nominee to use a "Lifeline" to assist in answering the tougher questions.

Ketanji used her lifeline to assist her in answering the question, "Define a woman". Ketanji placed a call to Helen Reddy (of "I am a woman" song fame) for assistance on the question not realizing Helen had died years ago. As a backup, Ketanji placed a call to Lia Thomas who answered that she had no idea ... she had just identified as one. Failing to receive assistance, Ketanji just gave up and stated: "I don't know, I am not a biologist".

When asked about the Bill of Rights Amendments of the Constitution, Ketanji placed Lifeline calls to all of the Deans of Ivy League Law Schools but did not receive any assistance to answer those questions because none of the deans had any knowledge of any Bill of Rights that were applicable to the US.

Ketanji, fed up with all those trick questions, bolted from the room shouting that all those Republican racists pigs would have to deal with her when she took her seat on SCOTUS.

[colorado tanker]

Is this from the Bee?

[ConservativeInPA]

Pretty good satire if you wrote that. Good satire needs to be almost believable, although these days it is difficult to distinguish hard news stories from satire.